Contradictory Ramblings Version 2.0

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

Fade to Black - Metallica

Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I'm more of an agnostic than an atheist. I never had a religion though I believe that there is the probability of a Creator out there. I never really prayed for anything my entire Life - coz I've always thought that prayers w/o faith are nothing more than useless words. But right now, I just hope that if there is someone out there who is listening. I don't know who I'm praying to (and pls don't take this opportunity to preach ur religion to me coz I ain't gonna listen), and I don't know if what I'm doing is actually praying... but whatever it is, I hope Meow will be safe. I hope Meow will be okay and come back to me, even if it means my jeans are gonna end up shredded and all ~ yeah he can shred anything he wants, my shoes, my bedsheets... hell, he can even leave scratches on my new furniture. I don't care. Just let him come back alright.

Mum took Meow to Mt. Pleasant clinic [North] earlier today. I couldn't go down with her coz I had a class that I've cancelled/postponed too often. I wish I had though. She didn't really question the doc as much as I would have had. I will call the clinic tml, and hopefully I'll hear something positive. Inflamation of the bladder & stomach congestion. Thatz all I know. What the fuck that means exactly, I really have no fucking idea. All I know is ~ Meow has to go thru' an operation. I ain't fucking worried about how much it'll cost. What I'm worried is what will be the outcome of the procedure.

I just knew something wasn't right when I got home. He didn't walk up to me & try to brush his tail against my face like he always does. He spent most of the time lying down. Didn't even try to bite or scratch me when I prod him @ spots he finds the most annoying usually. Fuck. Even his mewing sounded weird. I went for my interview, I returned. He was still listless. According to my mum he has been having trouble peeing/pooping & he puked earlier in the day. It doesn't sound good. I don't even know how old he is *sigh*

I dunno. I just hope he'll be okay. Whoever reading this, should you have a religion, pls include Meow in ur prayers tonite, tomorrow... whenever. Till he comes home.

Fuck manx. I don't even wanna think of the negative possiblities rite now.

And No, I'm not okay.

Shady self-destructed @ 22:22

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Hmm... this J-rock band, "Nightmare", has caught my eye lately. Yeah yeah, the lead singer ain't cute at all (kinda fat)... and according to a friend, they remind her to Aucifer. But ah well ~ itz the lyrics of the songs that capture my attention so far. Enjoy... [ Raison D'etre ], OP of Claymore - an anime series that I started watching last weekend. *grinx* Liking it so far, coz for once, there aren't any stupid little damsels in distress... all Claymores are female warriors =)

Shady self-destructed @ 14:35

The weather last nite was perfect for a good snooze. Raining just enough to make the surroundings cool, and yet w/o the thunder & lightning to disrupt anything. I turned on the air-con, got under the quilt... but things didn't turn out as expected. A mind in turmoil can get no rest. It was endless tossing & turning... now, I feel more exhausted than before I went to sleep. When will I ever quit? It's never good to try to fall asleep when I ain't on the verge of knocking out? *sigh* Guess I'm just too stubbon @ times for my own good. I try even when I know I'll fail. I try even when I know itz pointless doing so. What the hell do I expect? A miracle?

I'm just so sick & tired of everything manx. Once again, how I wish I could fall asleep and not wake for a really loooooooong time. Just what is it that keeps me awake? Just what it is that keeps me alive? *shrugx* Nothing I do these days seems to make me really happy. Even escaping to the fantasy world of Midkemia in a novel or Rune-Midgard in EbilRO just proves to be nothing more than a temporary respite.

It just seems that history is repeating itself all over again...

Shady self-destructed @ 08:31

Saturday, June 23, 2007

I am my worse enemy. And rite now, there's no one I hate more than myself. I hate myself for doing what I did, and I hate myself for doing what I'm gonna do. But know what?? Fuck it. I can live with all that Hate. *sigh* Guess there nth much I can do - there are certain things that are beyond my control anyway. Nothing I can do nw but sleep. Don't even feel like RO-ing rite now. Much less considering that my entire guild ain't online. What I'd give for someone to be on rite now... but *shrugx* guess it won't matter at the end. Makes me wonder... when will I ever learn?

Shady self-destructed @ 02:35

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Nothing much today ~ went for an interview yesterday... at Jurong Island. zZz taking public transport there was hell, and not to mention, it was a troublesome process exchanging the vistor's pass @ the checkpoint. Oh... and after the interview, there was not much options for me to leave either - itz wait for the company transport or the public bus that will come at gawd knows what time. Was lucky though. Managed to hitch a ride with a DHL delivery guy. *grinx* yeah it was a day of 1st times. 1st time into Jurong Island (apparently u can only enter upon invitation) and 1st time hitching a ride with a total stranger. Lolx.

Anyway ~ some MVs to relak to.

Beast of Blood - Malice Mizer

The World (Death Note OP) - Nightmare

Wonder how long those guys take to style their hair manx -.-" Pretty cool, but if u'd ask a lazy sack of bones like me to do it... hell NO!!

Shady self-destructed @ 14:36

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Shady self-destructed @ 11:58

Managed to check out the Family thingy on EbilRO earlier, with DP. Would have done so this morning but the 1st attempt was a failure, coz the groom forgot to equip his diamond ring lolx... 1.2mil zeny down the drain [not to mention another 1.3mil which was the groom's registration fee]. Had the spend the entire afternoon earning that back. Thankfully it wrked the 2nd time or we would probably have given up. Lolx.

Well ~ here's the tale of our little "journey"...

The Wedding [EbilRO]

Firstly, it was off to register @ Prontera church. Gotta be decked in the full gear (the veil looks stupid btw) b4 the NPC would even accept our registration manx. Heh, was keeping my fingers crossed the entire time coz didn't really attempt this b4 on any of the other servers except Shazz, with another friend of mine, but that turned out weird... so yeah ~

Then the announcement was made... in case anyone wanted to drop in to take a look (but apparently no one seemed very interested).

Then the Priest began a really really looooong speech. The typical do you blah blah take blah blah as your lawfully wedded blah blah... yadda yadda, keeping each other safe [yeah rite, who can do that facing an MVP?]... etc. After tons of nonsense... FINALLY!!

Eventually, a guest did arrive. A newly recruited guild member, kokoKing, but by the time he got there... everything was over, so we went to test the new "I Miss You" skill. Pretty handy I shall say... coz it teleports the other part to the square just next to your sprite. It'll be useful while searching the maps for bosses in the future ...

Then itz off to the honeymoon area - Jawaii. Boarded the boat from Izlude. Wandered around on board a little and took a couple of screenies. Afterwhich, it was off to check out the holiday suites (which are really attap hut lookalikes) avaliable on the island.

The 1st one we entered was the Sweetness Suite. The decor of the place greatly reminded me of this game, Oz, that I played a couple of years back. [In Oz, players were allowed to purchase their own homes, buy furniture & arrange it any way they wish.] Heh, the funny thing was there in the suite, we actually saw this back mushroom. Jeez ~ talk about keeping the room clean. To think it cost 1k to enter -.-"

The 2nd one was the Classic Suite. Hmm... if u'd ask me, it was the nicest of all. Plus according to DP, it was free. Not too sure coz I didn't really notice whether my zeny had been deducted. Guess what we found here? A red mushroom. zZz inefficient cleaners they must have.

The 3rd one, in terms of cleanliness, was the worst of all - the Honeymoon Suite. Thief bugs!! Not one, but 2 of those filthy creatures. Ack!! If only there was some way that we could get our zeny back. Lolx. 1k per person ain't exactly cheap manx.

The last one was the Villa Suite. Nothing impressive. Just a bigger room, with a huge fireplace and a couple of couches. And yes, it wasn't clean either. Black mushrooms. 2 this time.

After checking out the holiday huts, we just simply wandered around a little and took random screenies here and there. Too many to post them all rite now... considering that I'm way past my intended sleeping hour. But here are some of the prettier ones ~

:: A nice chillout spot ::

:: In the midst of nowhere ::

:: At the ice cream vendor ::

Ah well ~ will sort out the rest another time. Manx... should start hunting for eq on EbilRO sometime soon too. Am alredi lvl 87, and I'm only wearing a lousy adventure suit -.-" Gahhh I do miss the stuff I have on acRO. But ah well... Ebil seems more fun coz itz more populated. At the very least, the guild ain't merely made up of our multiple characters. Lolx.

*sigh* Now I must sleep.

Shady self-destructed @ 01:36

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

ShaDy's theory: Boredom causes people to do things they normally won't.

Guess thatz the main reason y people become terrorists, make bombs and plan gawd knows what. They were bored. Hmm... yeah I get bored now and then too, but thankfully I've always managed to find something "better to do". So yep, chances of being a terrorist is as high as me being president of the country. The authorities can thank gaming for that. Lolx... gaming and anime and stitching. Itz a case of too many hobbies, too little time. But it doesn't mean that I don't get restless now and then. I do.

And when I do, the following happens...

And judging frm that... I guess I ain't the only bored one around :P

Whatz worse - we actually went all the way to Changi Airport just to eat Popeye's fried chicken -.-" and itz not as if the chicken is fabulous... lolx, but itz much better than KFC's these days. The whipped potato was great though! Something different. But yeah ~ the train ride all the way there (and back) was !#%*!~& hmm ah well ~ I got something that I've been aiming for for quite sometime @ the end of it all anyway so yeah it was good.

Shady self-destructed @ 15:20

Monday, June 18, 2007

I must be crazy. Rite now I alredi have more PS2 RPGs than I can complete... and I'm actually thinking of checking out more!! Gahh... this is a classic example of biting off my than I can chew (and then swallowing it all anyway -.-"). Anyway, had nth much to do @ my parents' place during the weekend, so ended up trawling GameSpot a little, checking out the PS2 RPGs avaliable. Hmm... one regret now that I ain't on good terms with Ben is that I no longer get to go JB to check out all those games - itz one thing reading 'bout them online, another thing looking at it for real. Ah well ~ guess I'll have to do more surfing on other webbies for screenies & all to see if a game is worth b4 getting them.

Jeez ~ did I just say "getting"? ROFL

Dun ask me where this sudden renewed interest in PS2 gaming came frm. I do things in bursts of motivation I guess... and that somehow applies to gaming as well. Lately been taking a short break frm mmorpgs (dropped acRO for a bit, and got on ExileRO instead) - been playing TS2 and watching loads of anime instead. *nod nod* Just finished the Full Metal Alchemist series on Fri. A decent watch, though once again it got me wishing that there's more stuff with older main characters. Yah lah ~ I'm getting o-l-d.

Anyway, whatever it is, while the current flame burns, hopefully I'll be able to finish up Dark Cloud 2 and Wild Arm 3, that have been lying ard since gawd knows when, and start something new. Ohhhh... there's Grandia XTreme too. Damn, thatz one game that is so unlike the rest in the series - frankly I liked the original Grandia gameplay much better. XTreme is just like dungeon after dungeon w/o towns to explore. Plus I hate the mana egg junction thingy. Battle system's the same though... and there are many characters to raise... but hmm... yeah I still prefer the typical style. After those are over and done with (if ever), guess I'll either start on Suikoden IV or Valkyrie Profile 2. Then again... lolx, will decide when the time comes lahx. Am not even halfway thru' either Dark Cloud 2 or Wild Arms 3. WA3 is coz itz @ my parents place and I spend limited time there; DC2 is coz I backside itchy, spending tons of time levelling weapons - maybe I should just stop the obsession of collecting all of Monica's "final swords" & move on with the storyline instead.

*rubs hands gleefully* Then there's PS3... bro's been talking about it the last weekend too. But rite now, no job = no $ = nothing!! Full stop.

Went furniture shopping earlier today & after much contemplation, settled for a bed & wardrobe. Yah lah ~ I'm super indecisive when it comes to these kinda "long term commitments". For shoes & clothes, I normally take just a couple of minutes. Especially shoes. I don't even need to try them on. Converse size 4. Thatz it. T-shirts, just awhile deciding between the colors and jeans/berms, just trying on the size. Wonder how some girls can spend hours & hours shopping, trying on stuff and at times end up getting nth - impressive (and yes, I'm being sarcastic if u are wondering).

OFF TOPIC!!!

Back to furniture. Yeah. I was torn between this single bed and this bed set that comes complete with wadrobe, mini-book shelf & work table. Frankly, the bed set would have been the most practical item. It would have saved tons of storage space... which is a plus, coz my room @ my parents' place is really tiny (as some of u have seen). Also, itz something simillar to my loft bed. Don't ask me why, but I just like sleeping on the upper deck - though I know 1st hand that it ain't funny when I fall... thank goodness I didn't break anything then. Well... it came equipped with this "staircase" that doubles up at storage drawers. If I didn't see the single bed, I would have gotten it for sure, but the single bed was too... I dunno... too captivating to my eye - so I ended up choosing it & got a seperate wardrobe instead. Will post a pic of it when itz delivered nxt Sat.

Haha ~ I daresay my parents would have preferred that I get the bed set, coz it'll make my room less cluttered... but well, itz my room. I know I will regret it like hell if I didn't get the single one. Itz cute lah. Bright red. lolx, but I hope I won't get sick of looking @ it too soon. Thatz a huge problem of mine. I tire of things easily. The funny thing is, when it comes to r/s, I'm like the totally opposite... and more often than not, tat turns out to be a bad thing -.-" Gahh, don't wanna wallow in self-misery too much tonite.

Tonite seems like a good nite for gaming. A good nite for sleeping, watching anime, cross stitching & tons of other things too. Temperature is just nice - not too cold, not warm & humid either. *sigh* If only the nights last longer - never liked the sun... and as *beep* (^-^) mentioned to me earlier, yeah people should just work 4 hours a day instead of 8... though I disagree about the part that 24hrs of sleep is good. Got too many things to indulge in to allow myself such luxury... but heyz, to each his/her own... you're a lazy little *beep* afterall [though the "little" part can be argued] :P

Think by the time I actually go to sleep later... daylight will alredi be creeping in from the window & birds will be chirping all around. Ookie... am exaggerating. There aren't that many trees here so I won't be able to hear the birds.

Good. I don't like birds.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:37

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

There's this guy I know. Wanted to borrow a PS2 game from me - coz apparently he was bored @ home w/o games. Ookie, am fine with that... since I dun really have time for the PS2 these days. Thing is, I just realised on the way home that heyz the disc ain't at Jelapang. Itz at my parents' place, Bugis. So I just dropped him an SMS, telling him that... thinking that he'll probably just forget about it or take it frm me the nxt week. That was Sunday. But nooooooooo... he had to SMS me on Monday morning, asking 'how'? Basically he gave me 2 alternatives: 1. I go back to my parents place & take it, and he meets me there to take the disc frm me; 2: he meets me @ my place and takes my bike down to my parents' place. The 1st thing that came into my mind when I saw that SMS was - What nerve!

Incredulously, I responded - that if he wanted me to go all the way back just to take a DVD. He responde with - well, since I have nothing betta to do. I was off on Mon. No classes @ all. But does that means I've got nothing to do at home? Plus... frankly, tell me... why should I trouble myself just to get a disc for him?

Oh, dun get me wrong. Itz not that I won't go outta my way to help a friend. But in this case, this guy... he ain't on my "friendlist". More like an acquaintance or just a hi-bye friend. Besides, he's the kind who doesn't contact me unless he has something to ask... or if, he's really bored & can't find anyone else to go out with (usually when his gf is out with her friends). So tell me, why should I travel all the way to Bugis for someone like this? Via public transport, the journey is long... and a waste of time. Taking my bike down... uhmm, rite. Petrol isn't exactly cheap these dayz siahx!!

*shrugx* But I guess the main issue ain't the travelling time or petrol. My main point is, I won't do that for someone unworthy. If he is a friend... and treats me like one, instead of merely treating me like a spare tyre, things would be different. And know wat? Rite now... I dun even think I wanna lend him the disc afterall. Coz itz gonna be one huge hassle getting it back (gawd knows how many idiots have borrowed my stuff & I've never seen them ever again... that f**king includes my FFX disc) - and I won't know when I'll feel the itch to play it.

People should just learn to know their place. I ain't Saint ShaDy.

Once again, I feel as if I need to do some clean-up with my Life. Am not talking about the stacks of books & papers on my floor. Am talking about the clutter in my f**king Life. Especially things that cause me to take a ride on the emotional roller coaster. I don't like that. Maybe I'm just getting old... but rite now, all I want in my Life is stability. Anything... and anyone who comes and mess up my world will be erased. Ain't saying that itz gonna be easy... but yeah, been watching Full Metal Alchemist Lately & there's this concept of equivalent trade that pretty much makes sense. Perhaps ~ if I wanna attain stability, I gotta give up my heart. Coz itz always my emotions that get the better of me.

For that... I need strength. Strength to be able to walk away from doomed situations. Strength to allow my brain to make the decisions instead of listening to my heart all the time. Strength to let go of this stupid strand of Hope that I'm clutching on to & just fall all the way down. At least, when I hit rock bottom... the only way I can go is Up.

Think I'm just allergic to bullshit.

Shady self-destructed @ 11:20

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A one-hit wonder from the late 90s. "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals. Been a while since I heard this song & I guess most of u folks still remember it. *shrugx* The tune just crept into my mind and stayed for a while. Maybe my subconscious is simply telling me to hold on, and not give up hope. Whatever ~ rite now, I'll be alright even if the world ends.

No idea, what is this I'm feeling. This happens way too often. I shouldn't have even attempted to sleep last nite. I was tired. I was bored - restless. I lay down, I couldn't close my eyes. Reached for the GBA and played a little Harvest Moon b4 I finally rolled over. *sigh* I should have just played the PS2 till the nxt morning. For I did fall asleep, and the nightmares came. Lucid ones, that totally ruined my day b4 it even started. Now, I'm feeling more exhausted than b4 I went to sleep. Gahhh!!~!

Itz one of those days when I just wish everything & everyone can just f**king disappear. Yeah everyone, including Me.

Shady self-destructed @ 11:05

Monday, June 04, 2007

Siam Reap, Cambodia [June 2007]

Day 01

Jetstar 3K595 arrived @ Siam Reap International Airport at about 8am, Singapore Time. Siam Reap is like 1hr behind us, so guess it was still pretty early in the morning when I got there!! Anyway, airport pickup was provided by the hotel, so soon we were on our way to City River Hotel. Gee ~ the place was exactly like I thought it would be. Sparesly populated, and kinda rural. Nothing like the forever crowded streets of Singapore. Good!

Well ~ the hotel was pretty decent. Checked in w/o a hitch. After resting for a little & unpacking a little, itz off to explore the country!!

Decided to hire a tuk-tuk (damn I forgot to take a pic of one) to bring us around. 1st stop was the Old Market where dining places are avaliable - was freakingly hungry by then. Had the 1st meal in Le Cafe Grand - some French Cambodian cafe. Damn ~ was hoping to try one of the road side stalls instead, but my travel companion wasn't too keen. Well.. my choice was Pork Chop with French Mustard sauce. Didn't taste too bad, though I would have preferred brown sauce instead to go with my meat =)

That done, itz off to visit the Temples of Angkor!! Oooh.. and cigarettes were US$1 for 2 pkts. How cool is that? Lolx... too bad lah, I didn't smoke that much. Didn't even finish 1 pkt during the entire stay there ^-^ Which should really be a good thing ehx?

Entrance fee to Angkor Temples was US$20/person. Hmm considering that it was for the entire day, I didn't mind that bad. Plus there are like so many temples there so I thought it would be pretty worthwhile. I was so damn wrong. Nothing to do with the place. There were indeed many areas to explore, and frankly I wouldn't even finish exploring it given 1 day ~ but someone complained that everything looks the same (which they don't), so I didn't get to check out as much stuf as I wanted, and felt a little cheated of my $$.

Towers of Angkor Wat

1st temple visited was the one nearest to the "toll gate". The majestic Angkor Wat. Trust me, the photos don't do it justice manx. One look @ the structure is enuff to make me go... whoooahhhh!! Itz beautiful, really. Makes me wonder how it actually looked in the past - when it was @ the peak of its glory. Imagine running along the passageways, climbing ard the stairs and all ~ it would be a pretty place to grow up in. Somewhat like the ancient Roman & Babylonian structures u see in the movies.

Prayers in the temple

One thing though - the steps were waaaay steep! Lolx wasn't that much of a problem climbing up, but down is another thing altogether. Thankfully there was this section whereby a small teeny handrail was provided, and I went down crab-style. *grinx* If not I would have gone down the same way I went up, climbing ladder style. Hahah ~ looking down wasn't a problem. Never had a fear of heights. Gotta improve on my agi & dex manx! So I'll be able to climb up and down such structures easily.

Bayon Temple

After Angkor Wat, we headed to the grand city of Angkor Thom. In there ~ the main temple of attraction was Bayon temple. The faces starring outta the rocks were kinda intimidating siahx. But after getting "used to it", itz damn fascinating. Wonder how in the world did those ppl manage to carve out stuff like that! Lolx ~ yah, imagine my travel partner complaining that all the rocks look the same... c'mon manx, think itz coz he didn't open his eyes wide enuff (maybe coz he was afraid of all the dust he kept whinning about).

Faces of Bayon

Like Angkor Wat, there were corridors to explore, stairs to climb... stuff to just view. Itz a shame that I don't have a video cam. Photographs, just ain't sufficient. Oh ~ don't ask me about the history of those places. I've got zlich interest in history. Am more interested in the places' architecture and art. Hmm... oh, I didn't mention, did I? Those temples... there were carvings in the walls manx. Faded, no doubt... but still amazing.

Baphuon Temple

Took a short break after leaving Bayon @ one of the stalls around the temple area. Had this HUGE coconut. Nice & satisfying *grinx* By then... I could see that my travel partner wasn't too interested in wandering around much anymore. But still, we went on to Bahphuon, which was just a couple of metres frm the resting area.

Stairs up to Phimenekas

Hmm this one is smaller than the previous 2 we visited, plus much of the area was cordorned off due to conservation works going on. So didn't spend too long there, and headed to Phimeanakas which was just beside it. Frankly I think Phimenekas was no big deal. The only captivating thingy about it (and boy was it really captivating) was the outside... where pictures depicting elephants were carved into the walls... and elephant structures were kinda "supporting" the walkway into the temple.

Side view of Ta Prohm

Last one visited was Ta Prohm. The temple in the forest. If you'd ask me... I'll say this is the one I loved most of all ~ maybe itz coz it kinda reminds me of the structures in those typical RPGs. Hmm... think Tomb Raider. The stone structure in the midst of huge trees. The roots of the trees covering certain "look out" spots and all. Way beauitful ~ damn, didn't get to take as many pics of Ta Prohm as I wanted coz it started to rain pretty heavy. I might be waterproof, but my digicam sure wasn't!!

Well ~ thatz all for the temples of Angkor. #@^&~ and if u are wondering wth is that person wearing blue who is spoiling some of my photographs - that is the travel partner I've been complaining about. He's a decent enuff guy that I've got no complaints. But his lack of energy & sense of adventure... coupled with an unwillingness to try new stuff, is something that makes a really lousy travel companion. Oh... and whatz worse, he has this tendency to not wait for others. Like when I'm taking photos, he wouldn't wait.. and he'll just walk ahead real fast... ruining some of my pics in the process. *sigh*

The rest of the Nite for Day 01 was uneventuful. Just refer to the post I made @ the hotel and u'll know what I mean.

Day 02

Itz even worse than the 1st day. The only thing worth mentioning was the Apsara dance we watched @ Temple Club Restaurant. Thankfully I got my own way on this... if I had said "anything", probably we would have ended up dining at the hotel. And I wouldn't have gotten the chance to wander around Pub Street either. Hmm ~ I didn't enter any of the pubs though. Didn't feel like sitting down alone. Gahhh ~ and to think, one of the best ways to end a day is chilling out to a nice cocktail with music in the background.

Day 03

One rushed breakfast at the hotel, then itz off to the airport for the flight home. Bought this bottle of Absolut Mandarin from the duty free shop @ the airport for $23+. Not too bad ~ thatz gonna last me for somewhile =) Anyway ~ that travel partner? He didn't wait... he just simply went his own way... and by then I really had enuff of it... so I headed home by myself. There's no way I'll be lost in Singapore anyway!

On the overall ~ I should say this trip was just okay. Could have been much much better, and for sure, it wasn't worth the plane ticket there. Should I have had a choice, I would stay for at least a week... and check out other cities in Cambodia too, instead of merely sticking to Siam Reap. Anyway, it did provide me with the rejuvenation I was seeking & perhaps it might have given me a reason to carry on living on this planet. *shrugx* Will blog about that another day I suppose.

Shady self-destructed @ 19:18

Saturday, June 02, 2007

*yawn* Day 2. Hmm... somehow I'm thankful that I'm leaving tml. Itz not the country lah, really. If I were to be here for 2 weeks, it'll definitely be worth my stay and there are definitely stuff to check out. Itz tempting. Perhaps tonite I shall wander out alone to check out the pubs here. Though the streets are dark, it seems like a relatively safe place with everyone going about their own business. The only annoyance are the countless of ppl who remind me of trishaw riders back home. Am pretty content to get around on foot. The town isn't that big anyway. Gahhh - if only my friend was more spontaneous. Would have rented a motorcycle to get around instead. Shame shame shame.

Didn't do much today. Intention as to go visit the floating village, but the boat ride costs US$20. That was a major turn-off. Frankly I wouldn't have minded paying... coz since I'm alredi here, might as well see as much as I can. Plus itz something I won't get to see when I return to Singapore. *shrugx* But my friend wasn't really willing to pay the amount so yeah we left. It would have been an eyeful to see an entire community on the water, though I do admit that the price was pretty steep and kinda outta budget.

I dunno. Izzit me who has too much energy or did I simply make a wrong choice in travel companion?

Wandered ard the Old Marketplace earlier. When I went into one of the shops to check out some souveniors... poof ~he disappeared. Couldn't find him after so I just returned to the hotel. He didn't seem interested in the temples of Angkor yesterday too - claiming that they are all the same. D-u-h. They are not the same. That I can say for sure. Open ur f**king eyes a little and u'll see the difference in the temples' layout, and u'll be able to see the faded carvings in the stone walls. There was plenty of time left, and there were many other temples to check out. I wanted to go, but he didn't. Jeez ~ I didn't get my $'s worth lah. Frankly, this is the last time I'm travelling anywhere with him. Must go seek out more adventurous ppl, with less inhibitions, as travel buddies.

Imagine. He actually wanted to have meals @ the hotel? Thankfully I got my way. Itz like wah piangz... pointless to makan at hotel when u are in a foreign land rite? Should check out the street stores - only then u'll be able to fully experience the food of a place. Hotel fare is all the same worldwide anyway... come here eat western food. Might as well go home food court eat? Last nite went to some BBQ buffet and all he ate there was friend rice, claiming that his stomach can't tahan those kinda food. *shrugx* If u ask me, one of the best things to check out of another country - tourist attractions aside - is the FOOD. Kinda wasteful to go somewhere and not check out the local fare.

Had massage for both days though. Foot massage yesterday and a body massage today. Hmm though the prices were cheaper than the services back home, I think I still enjoyed the ones in Singapore more. Maybe it was just lousy selection of a massage place lah ~ wish I had a local guide who could recommend the best things to check out. Maybe in future I'll do more research b4 I come to another country... it'll be best if I can make a local friend prior travelling.

Ah well ~ anyway coming here makes me appreciate the luxuries back home more. The entire place... reminds me of Einboch. A hot & dusty town. Think I'm gonna have a pimple outbreak siahx!! But hmm... the pace of life seems slow. Everyone doesn't seem to have much, but they don't look as if they are suffering. I believe that, somehow, they are happy with what they have. Maybe everyone should just take life easy. Live simply, day after day & not fret too much about the future. *sigh* But that doesn't seem possible in Singapore... too many things to worry about. Too many concerns & too much rushing here and there.

Gah!!! Time's almost up again. This blows.

Shady self-destructed @ 16:27

Friday, June 01, 2007

Itz 7:51pm @ Siam Reap. *nod nod* Am in Cambodia rite now, using the complimentary Internet access the hotel has ~just 30 min though, what a shame. Wonder wth am I gonna do for the rest of the nite. Friend's going to sleep... and I dun really feel like wandering the streets alone in the dark. According to the guide, there are some nite spots to visit... some pubs I suppose. Darn, itz a shame. Really.

Anyway ~ my day began real early. Went to Changi Airport in the wee hrs - flight was 6am. Arrived in Cambodia 7:05am (their clock is 1hr behind us). Then it was checking in and off to the old market we went. Had breakfast/lunch... then went to visit the temples. It was an eyeful. Though mainly all I can say is, itz just rocks rocks and more rocks. lolx. The thingy that left the deepest impression though, were the many decapitated statues. Apparently they've fallen prey to looters and all. Pictures to be posted when I get home.

Well, guess there's nth I can do later except turn in early? Seriously wtf lah, sleep @ 8pm. I dun even snooze that early when I'm in SG - unless of coz, am waiting for DP to get on later the nite for a gaming session or if I'm too sick to do otherwise. Damn, time passes really quickly when yer online chatting. 7 min left on my clock. *sigh* Wish I could stay on for longer... but dun really feel like paying for this.

Shady self-destructed @ 20:49

.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page

Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.
In Progress

Dark Cloud 2
Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts II
Wild Arms 3

In Queue

Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
Dark Cloud
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Grandia III
Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
Persona 3
Rogue Galaxy
Rule of Rose
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Shadow Hearts: From The New World
Shining Force Neo
Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Soul Cradle [Jap]
Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
Suikoden IV
Suikoen V
Tales of the Abyss
Wild Arms Alter Code: F
Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

Ar tonelico II [?]
Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Digimon World Data Squad
Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
Drakengard
Drakengard 2
Dual Hearts
Elvandia Story [?]
Ephemeral Fantasia
Eternal Ring
Evergrace
Forever Kingdom
Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
Growlanser Generations
Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
Jade Cocoon 2
Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
MS Saga: A New Dawn
Musashi Samurai Legend
Odin Sphere
Okage: Shadow King
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Radiata Stories
RPG Maker 2 [?]
RPG Maker 3 [?]
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
Shining Force Exa
Shining Wind [?]
Shining Tears
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Steambot Chronicles
Summoner
Summoner 2
Tales of Destiny [?]
Tales of Destiny II [?]
Tales of Legendia
Tales of Rebirth [?]
Tales of Symphonia [?]
The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
Tsugunai: Atonement
Unlimited Saga
Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
Wild Arms 5 [?]
Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
.hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
.hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
.hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
.hack//Infection Part 1
.hack//Mutation Part 2
.hack//Outbreak Part 3
.hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

Grandia II
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
Legend of Legia II
Shadow Hearts
Silent Hill 2
Suikoden III

Trash Bin

7 Sins
Urbz: Sims in The City
Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...

+ A r c h i v e s +

02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009

+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

Layout by Kuroda