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Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else


I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free


Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel


Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone


No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try


Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye


Fade to Black - Metallica




Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life


Saturday, December 30, 2006


Ookie. Slow connection caused by earthquake in Taiwan. Kaox... this slow?! Reminds me of those 56k modem dayz ~ and even back then, the pages load completely after a wait. These dayz, there are some pages tat I have problems even accessing. eg. Blogger. Yep, I had to reload & refresh the page like 4x before this post box appeared. But ah well, itz been worse before (try refreshing for the entire afternoon & still not getting the page). Still, guess I should get some anti spyware or something to be on the safe side. *shrugx*

Anyway... itz been a tiring day. 3 lessons back to back this morning. Not to mention, I nvr knew the goddamned journey frm Woodlands to Jurong West is that long!! Yeah... maybe I'm just too dumb to know a shorter route. Took the BKE, then KJE and exited @ Jln Bahar. Hmm but I prefer things this way actually - as compared to having classes all on different dayz. It does save petrol & not to mention, I don't have to bother leaving the house that many times. Just hope that the schedule could be fixed soon, now that the kids are starting skool in a week's time. This is one wee thing I dislike about tuition. Parents just can't make up their minds & change lesson times as and when they feel like it. Uhmm don't they know that I've got my own life too & I would like to be able to make plans?

Ah well... itz Saturday. Ben's colleague, Ben 2, is moving in tonite. Gahh!! This is gonna be super inconvenient, having another piece of meat in the house. The only comfort is, he has his own computer, tv & x-box so he'll probably not bother me at all. And perhaps, with some luck, it'll take Ben outta the house even more often. Imagine both going clubbing together into the wee hours. Guess that spells some peace for me!! Heh ~ one thing really weird though, Ben is like so happy Ben 2 is moving in. Even spent time setting up the room last nite. Helping him unpack, arranging things & even hanging the clothes up in order!! Goodness. He's always dedicated when it comes to friends.

There's gonna be a BBQ potluck @ my parents' place RC but think am gonna give it a miss. Am looking forward to spending some time on DC2 later - that is if I don't go overboard with TS2. Yeah taking a short little break frm ROSE, at least for today.

Having nothing much better to do, and taking a little breather... did a little Yahoo! search on Ken'ichi Matsuyama - wondering how he actually looks beneath all that makeup as "L" in Death Note & Death Note: The Last Name. Verdict: put that makeup back on manx!! LoLx of coz, he looks betta than the guy playing Yagami Light anytime... but well, guess itz that image that caught my attention, not anything else. W/o that "Ju-on boy" makeover, he doesn't look half as good. *shrugx* Ain't the 1st actor I thought didn't look good outside their movie/drama role. Take Wenworth Miller. Think I blogged about him a looooong time ago. The guy who played Michael Scolfield (however u spell this word) in Prison Break. Looked much much betta as the con. Ah well... just random thoughts. Doesn't mean anything.

Besides, actors & actresses are much more than looks alone (ie. you look good, u suck, I'll still hate you & skip the movies u star in).

Shady self-destructed @ 16:47


Thursday, December 28, 2006


Gee just spent a couple of minutes playing Ice Cream Machine on Neopets... /gg yeah u read it right, Neopets. Doesn't it amaze u that a 25 yr old is still playing stuff on Neopets? LoL well, let me just put it this way. There are times in life that u absolutely need silly no-brainer games to distract urself a little. Considering that I can't connect to ROSE (been a problem since this morning), might as well get me some neopoints! Of coz, after this all, will be just playing TS2 for a little bit b4 calling it a night. *sigh* How I wish I can get on Athena and smash some Rudolph Santas, and maybe get myself a level up. Well... just hope that tml will be a better day for gaming!

Or rather, a better day to use the PC on the whole.

Internet connection hasn't been stable the entire day. Haix... hopefully it isn't some spyware or something thatz affecting it. Yeah yeah I keep hanging on to hope that such things will pass. Darn itz gonna be one major inconvenience if webpages are gonna load this slow! Blame it on my impatience. Wonder how did I survive in the past with dialup connection -.-" There's this nagging feeling I get tat it might have been the defrag I did last nite... but I don't really see the link. Yeah sure, the defrag of my Drive C didn't go well. Apparently there were some files that oculdn't be moved. *shrugx* DP said itz a common thingy. Ah well... maybe Phoenix is just feeling as sluggish as I am today. No idea why, but for the entire day, I've been feeling as if I'm 125 instead - being perpetually sleepy and all. Perhaps itz just my body reacting to the flu virus. Am starting to have a runny nose too @#%$*~

Didn't help that I took at walk in the rain earlier. To Greenridge and back. It was rage that posessed me mainly, when I looked thru' the stash of the papers & all on the table, and found a reminder for my broadband bill. Apparently it hasn't been paid since Oct!! Goddamnit!! Came to a whooping $142.28 that came totally outta my own pocket!! That jerk didn't even offer to pay a single cent... even when I asked him blatantly whether am settling this all by myself. Smart huh, he? Saying that he doesn't even use broadband. He should just remember that the reason y the bill hasn't been paid since 3 mths ago itz coz he hasn't been making his necessary contributions to the home account. All the $ thatz in it went to pay for the other bills such as reno loan installments, electric & SCV. To think he still has the cheek to claim that in future the entire broadband bill will be mine to settle - and that he'll take care of "the rest". Hah. Will wait and see how long it takes for the 1st of the pink letter notices to arrive. Wonder when will electricty & water be cut off too.

Ever met anyone more irresponsible than this? Whatever pay I've gotten for the RC classes @ Bt Gombak & Bt Batok is gone now. And I'm still in the red for this mth. *sigh* I just hope I'll receive the cheque frm Spring Language School soon. Have simply accepted their offer for now. Ain't economical to go thru' a lawyer even though I'm rightfully entitled to all that extra $ I won't be getting. The legal fees will just cost too much. Nevermind. They wait. I'll extract my vengeance sometime in future. Let them enjoy this festive season. They'll have a year of hell ahead of the authorities will get off their lazy asses. If the authorities don't, well, then itz their good luck. Heh... I'm a person who believes in retribution anyway. What goes around, comes around. - self comfort - LoL

Well thatz it... am getting rid of the guest account on my PC. For all u know... itz some dirty fingers that have been accessing unclean sites that is causing my internet connection to lag the way it does now. Yeah this may be an unfair accusation, but this ain't the 1st time Ben's touched Phoenix & something weird happens after. It may all be just a coincidence, but hello... all the time? If he doesn't use it, things are fine. When he does, it just screws up till the nxt reformat. I really don't have the intention doing that anytime soon.

Back to the walk in the rain earlier... well, it felt good. Itz been a long time since I got totally drenched by choice. Do note that getting soaked while on the bike, rushing to a tutee's place ain't exactly cool - hate that. But tonite was good. The cold rain splashing down... makes it seem as if I'm taking some kinda shower. It was rejuvenation to the max. Heh now am wondering whether I'll have to pay for it tomorrow. Took a warm shower when I got home and am now just lazing ard. *fingers crossed* Maybe I'll read the rest of the John Saul novel, Midnight Voices, I borrowed frm the library earlier. Been awhile since I read any fiction novels, and yeah, it does feel good too. I don't care if u say that John Saul is for kids or if his stories are a "simpler" version of Stephen King's. I like his books, and thatz what matters.

Now... should I just push my luck & have some vodka on the rocks?

Nahhh fuck the idea. Just managed to logon to ROSE. Thatz it. Plan for the nxt 2hrs b4 slumber... kill some rudolphs & enjoy the book. Cheers!

Shady self-destructed @ 02:04


Monday, December 25, 2006


~* Merry Christmas *~

Yeah yeah as if I suddenly got caught up in some X'mas mood or something. Nahhh I didn't spend X'Mas Eve alone @ home. Met up with a few ol' 20+ (+++++++) friendz at Paul's, sat around having a drink & toking nonsense. Then left to catch the train home. Hmm am pretty surprised that there's still MRT & LRT at that hour! Lolx, didn't really have the X'Mas mood leh - not that I did expect to suddenly develop one. Stayed pretty much outta any X'Massy stuff this year... with exception of those cards. Got most of them out in the post liaox... I think. Left them @ my parents place, dad said he'll post them for me. Tmd, forgot to bring those I wanted to pass to the guys by hand.

Oh yeah, b4 that was at parents' place having turkey!! For once, after so many years of "talking", dad finally ordered a damned bird to share. LoLx, as expected, we couldn't finish it. Took some meat home... tml's lunch and maybe dinner I suppose. Heh... so how did the bird taste? Uhmm let's just say I still prefer chicken. The darn drumstick was huge though! Yah lah, I swa koo can? 1st time eating turkey! Hmm then again, I think I might have eaten turkey slices b4... ah well... whatever. Ain't important!

Received the latest issue of Cross Stitcher too, that came with a thread organizer. Interesting. Guess I'll make use of it when I start on that Dimensions kitty kit. Hmm... am still wondering whether I should renew my subscription nxt year when it expires, or I should just make msyelf a Kino member & get my ass down to obtain those mags. Ah well, guess it'll all depend on whether I'll still get a reasonable price nxt year. This year's subs are on "special offer" for 1st time subscribers only. After that the price is higher than what I'll pay if I purchase the mags off the shelves. Of coz... there's always the convenience of getting them in the mailbox instead of checking the bookstores wondering when they are gonna come in, or if they're sold out. Now that I'm addicted, wouldn't really wanna miss an issue :P

*sigh* Yet another of my mice passed away earlier. When I went to feed the pets, saw that this fella was lying on his side w/o much energy. Picked him up and instantly knew that he ain't gonna last the nxt hour. So I took him out for a while b4 trying to return him to the tank. Let him die with his brothers around him, thatz what I thought. But when I placed him back, this other mouse (the nasty fella) started attacking him immediately. Didn't want him to be eaten so I took him out again. Had to leave the house, so had no choice but to carry him along. Eventually, he breathed his last. It was a little depressing watching him take his last breaths though. He was trying so hard to breathe, twitching and all. I had an empty ciggie box on hand and just placed him in there b4 dumping the body away when I got to my parents' place. Eh, dun nag @ me for dumping him down the chute. What else was I supposed to do? Dig some hole to bury him & risk getting arrested and fined for vandalism? Ain't being cruel. He alredi crossed ovr the rainbow bridge by then.

Wonder how is it like to actually die. Will I be convulsing during my last moments? What will I be thinking... and how will it feel? Ultimate question. What next? Will I just fade into oblivion? Or is there... according to popular belief... an afterlife? *shrugx* Guess I'll only get that answer when I actually pass on. Come to think of it, I hope that there is an afterlife. It'll suck if I just simply cease to exist like that.

Nice... talking about Death on X'Mas. LoL

Shady self-destructed @ 03:33


Thursday, December 21, 2006


*sigh* Medication didn't go well with me. Guess my alredi broken mortal shell reacted violently to the drugs. The past 2 days were spent in a kinda "haze". Most of the time, I was asleep. Yeah slept more than 14hrs a day I think... not all at once, but well. I only managed to drag myself to the morning class yesterday. Then it was drifting in and outta consciousness. All that throwing up ain't helping either. Well... I just hope today is gonna be a better day. Got only 1 class later tonite. Am cooking cup noodles rite now. Keeping my fingers crossed that I can at least swallow that w/o much problem. Christmas is coming. Am gg home to have turkey with my family on X'Mas Eve. I just hope that can be done.

Must have lost 2-3kg during this period manz.

I couldn't afford much of a bday pressie for myself this year. Simply got myself this for $9.90. Saw it when I was out getting dinner for myself. Yeah yeah I know... I've alredi got loads of stuffed toys. And all are just collecting dust. But heck, I like those stuff ookie!! Yeah perhaps one day when I eventually outgrow it or can bear to watch them go, I'll donate them to an orphanage or something... but the possibility? Hardly likely. Some of those toys have been with me more than a decade now. A few even 2.


Am now simply waiting for my nxt paycheck. When I do, am gonna stock up on pet supplies again. My pets are now eating biscuits and rice. Arrrgghhhhh... I just wasn't well enough to make the trip to Serangoon or anywhere else for the entire week. No choice, even if I have to pay extra for delivery, will do it. I can't just depend on that fucknut all the time. If he could be depended upon, the pet food & litter will alredi be in the house since last week. Plus... my mouse wouldn't have died. Look, I was ill. So I told him to help mi feed them & top up their bottles for these 2 dayz. He didn't. I just did. Everything was dry. Everyone was so skinny and apparently one mouse didn't make it. I think one hamster passed on too & that jerk dumped it away w/o telling me. Couldn't find it in the tank.

Well... time for more screenies!! Apparently I wasn't the only one who has been taking pics. LoLx and yeah on my bday me and DP actually took a 'walk' around different maps just to take a couple of pictures.

Am having this as my wallpaper now

To jump... or not to jump (we didn't)

looks like something outta final fantasy ehx?

Phew ~ just take a look at how those turned out!! Some of them really looked as if it was a virtual date or something. Lolx... but the best thing was... we ventured into maps that we would nvr have went otherwise - due to our low levels :P Somehow, we survived. The monsters didn't turn too aggro and we managed to outrun all that did. 100+ dmg per hit. That isn't very comfortable, considering that my hawker only has like 700+ max hp!! Thankfully I wasn't dumb enough to bring my muse. /gg

Now for just some tongue-in-cheek... lol this one looks kinda suggestive. Hahaha heyz I didn't take it!! I just went O.O when I saw it.


Just what it is that these 2 folks are doing?? Hahahahah ~ thatz all. For now.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:23


Wednesday, December 20, 2006


What a birthday. Went for classes as usual in the morning then the evening. Had lunch @ home while taking some crazy screenies on ROSE with DP. Skipped dinner. Instead just lounged in front of the TV watching Las Vegas. Then had an early night. Fucked up, don't u think? Spending bday all alone. The only comfort was my online mates, and the few ppl who SMSed me happy birthday (thanks, really)... at least I ain't that alone. Well, whatever it is, am gonna rectify the mistake the Creator made 25 years ago - ME.

Shady self-destructed @ 06:12


Monday, December 18, 2006


This blog of mine is gonna save my ass someday. Yesh... slightly more than 1 year frm now when I file for divorce, this is gonna be real helpful in reminding me of all the 'unreasonable behavior' Mr. Fucknut hath put me thru'. Which means... you are gonna hear more of his misdeeds once again!! Woohoo, don't u just fucking enjoy it? Haven't been complaining about asswipe on my blog for a while now... didn't mean tat he ain't being a prick. It just meant that I got so sick of him being one that I just left him to it. But come today, the complaints are gonna be beginning again. Why don't I write this elsewhere? Take notes? Well... considering that there's alredi sooooo much here, might as well use it all the way. It'll be his virtual book of damnation. btw, what kinda stupid law doesn't allow a couple to divorce within 3 years anyway?!

Was down with severe diarrhoea & fever since Sat night. That sux. Had to postpone all plans of meeting my friends on Sun & later today *sigh* Though am feeling betta now, just dun wanna take the risk of gg out for a buffet later this evening. Will push it till Wed or something instead. Some kinda advanced bday pressie this is huh? Lette me think... how am I gonna spend my bday this year. I'm gonna rot the entire day @ home in the morning & noon, go for classes at Bt Gombak in the evening then spend the rest of the night in front of the PC. This is how I visualise it. Yesh. Loser behavior. What can I do? I certaintly don't have the mood to organise something really "cool"... neither do I have anyone to jio. Period.

What happened this time? Simple. Sunday. I was still badly ill. Instead of staying home to take care of me (well... by now no one will expect him to do so), he was out having "ships" the entire day. At nite, was hiding in the toilet, using his phone & SMS. Claimed that it was a colleague who msged & called him... then he simply left the house. Said to go to Xiao Hei's bday chalet. Of coz I had my doubts. Checked his phone awhile ago - saw him concussed on the couch, reeking of alcohol. Thru' the last nite, there were SMSes to his colleague - apparently he went clubbing with them again and guess what? He made phonecalls to both Chrisse & Kim!! Neat. Now tell me he ain't cheating ard.

Yeah yeah... true true, a relationship is a very simple thing. There are only 2 choices if you are a girl. Wise up, snag a rich bastard for a husband... or be like me... stupid enough to believe in the existence of 'love' and end up with a poor bastard. Bottom line - men can never be trusted. So might as well get a rich one if u gonna put urself thru' that much frustration eventually. Of coz there are always the minority out there... but u know what they say ~ the good guys are either married, attached or totally gay!!

Noooooo this is bad. Must think positive. Ookie. What good hath happened to me so far? Since I woke up just like 1hr ago. Hmm.. ookie, I'm confident that I'm gonna finally be able to eat something w/o immediately expelling brown liquid frm my asshole. Am gonna get some campbell's soup to prove this 'theory'. Seriously I hope it works. The lack of proper food since Sat night is having an impact on me. Dulls my reflexes & greatly further reduces my energy level (which is alredi bad to begin with).

So long buttfuckers.

Shady self-destructed @ 06:58


Friday, December 15, 2006


Finally gone down to the lawyer today for a short consultation. I do have a case against Spring. Am gonna send them one final email stating my terms & if they don't accept it... will have to consider whether I wanna go thru' the hassle of suing them. Coz economically - itz not a smart move. The legal fees will definitely cost more than the amt I'm claiming. But morally, it'll be a victory. Nonetheless, will cross that bridge when I get to it. Chances are, am just gonna let it go... and get back against them with other means aka whistle blowing. Ain't gonna just let them have a hands down victory. Those PRC toads.

Another issue that I consulted the lawyer is - the divorce. Ah well... apparently I gotta wait till 3yrs of marriage is up b4 I can do anything. Ookie.. actually there's an expensive alternative. Hire a PI and hope that I'm lucky enuff to catch him in the act. Lawyer was saying that PI will prolly cost like 1.5k for a week. *sigh* But this is too much to spend loh, seriously, plus there's no guarantee that he'll be doing anything adulturous during that period of time. Itz obvious that he ain't faithful... but being certain of the fact ain't sufficient in the eyes of the law. Cold hard evidence is required. Guess there's nth much I can do except wait another year and a half to dump him. Gahhhh should have looked b4 I leapt. Stupid move on my part... but ah well... r/s are a gamble afterall. In the meantime, am just trying not too get too affected by his actions. Takes too much energy to even bother.

Yep. Welcome to my life.

Shady self-destructed @ 23:42


Thursday, December 14, 2006


Sheesh being a FT tutor is more difficult than I imagined. Planning my timetable is one thing, the unpredictability of things is another. Based on the current no. of assignments I have, if I manage to hang on to all that, I should be able to survive w/o much problems. Am just worried that parents will decide to switch tutors or whatever as and when. LoL not that I don't have confidence in myself... but such things are reality. You can't please everyone. Ultimately it depends on the child to work hard for his/her grades to improve... and there's nth much I can do if the kid doesn't like me, is there? XD but anyway, am gonna try my very best. Will give myself 6 mths to 'try out' and re-evaluate the situation. For now, searching for a full-time job is outta the question, but am keeping my eye out for part-times to increase my income. Too many things I wanna get but don't have sufficient $.

Anyway, work aside, I finally got my paws on The Sims 2 Pets!! Yeehah!! Itz as good as I imagined it to be. The only painful thingy about the game remains the college period - if I do decide to send sims to university. Itz pretty monotonous & draggy... but ah well, it is necessary if I wanna get some sims into the additonal careers that come with a college diploma! Lol yeah I still adore playing God ^-^

Well... screenie time!! Got myself hooked once again on ROSE online, and even managed to get my little bro on to it. LoL as a muse... muahahahah... anyway, enjoy the screenines.

A little closeup w/o all that additional eq

In full lvl 20+ hawker gear: El Verloon Desert

Take that porkie!!

Taking a short rest in the Forest of Wisdom

Ookie... the next 2 u gotta click on it to see itz full effects. Way too big to upload it on "medium" setting. Basically just some scenery shots.

Enjoying the night sky (romantic huh?)

Best seat in the house - above them all!

My IGN is BabyPeanut so if anyone's playing it as well, do add me to ur friends list - especially if u are an fs muse. I do need that heal!! Am just a weak lil' hawker - raider wannabe. hahahaha, and DP is a dealer, so we're spending tons of time sitting down to heal. Gameplay wise, itz something like a 3D version of RO. Lol yeah... RO is the game dude!! After u tried it, everything else reminds u of it. Hahaha heyz bear in mind that I have yet to play Everquest or Ultima Online so am unsure if RO matches up.

Hmm another game that made the news lately is Second Life. I did check that out once, but didn't see the point in p2p for a kinda 3D chatroom. Reason y it was in the news? Basically coz this woman was making real cash being a 'property agent' in game. *nod nod* Yesh I do believe such things are possible, if one is creative enuff... but heyz, it doesn't happen to everybody so I ain't gonna jump on any silly bandwagon. Besides thatz a little too much of an escape frm reality. I may avoid problems in my real life... but leading another life & ignoring the real, thatz a little too much for me to swallow. Ah well... but if I do have spare cash in the future, who knows? I might give in to temptation only to drop the game like a hot potato in a month or 2. Hahah yeah... I've dropped Oz for good.

Time to TS2!! Bro ain't playing ROSE tonite, so won't even bother to logon. Then again... if DP is on later... maybe ^-^ Soloing is boring.

Shady self-destructed @ 00:37


Wednesday, December 06, 2006


Bloody hell, Phonenix is down again. What is it this time? I've got no f**king idea as usual!! Symptoms - kk, while playing ROSE, the screen went black... com went unresponsive. Repeated subsequent attempts to boot up failed. Fans came on, light came on... but w/o the typical PC bootup *BEEP*. Bro was suggesting that it could be either the motherboard or the power supply, while DP suggested that it might be a friend CPU. *sigh* Anyway... it just means more $ has to be spent & another trip down to SLS must be made. Sometime soon. Being w/o Phoenix makes me feel really handicapped. But ah well, looking @ things on the bright sight (gotta do so to stay positive - much as i don't wanna), I've got more time to stitch up those cross-stitch cards for x'mas.

Am now at my parents' place, using my bro's PC. Am downloading kROSE client via bit torrent and hopefully will be able to get it patched and all b4 I leave for home later in the evening. Gee.. talk a bout game addicition. But itz funny, tat ain't the part that leaves me feeling so hollow & empty inside.

What I miss most is a certain online friend [ain't gonna reveal his nick]. Am so used to talking to him b4 I sleep, and talking to him when I wake up... that now I'm unable to, it feels just so weird. As if something is missing in my life. Gah!! Itz not as if we chat for hours every single day. Most of the time, itz only about 1/2 - 1hr b4 either of us needs to go to bed or leave the house. Different timezones, yeah. Don't really chat about much either - itz just meaningless most of the time... but well, at least it makes me smile. Laugh even, at times. A literal LOL. *shrugx* uhmm I don't think I'm in love (he's kinda too young for me)... lol so yeah... but he's one person that I would dearly love to keep in contact with for the rest of my life. Itz been close to 3 years now, since we got to know each other... if i don't remember wrongly. I do hope to actually meet up with him f2f someday.

Hmm guess u can say I am rather afraid of losing friends. In this day age & time, true friends are difficult to come by. Note: I ain't the kind who would call just anyone friend ookie! Colleagues are colleagues, acquaintances are acquaintances, classmates are classmates... not friends. Got it? Can't stand those folks who go around... eh my friend this... my friend that... yadda yadda. Yah lah, maybe u can say that I'm too calculative. But too bad, thatz the way I am... and know what? Friends will be able to accept me the way I am. Yesh, even my selfish, self-centered nature.

Whatever... 'nuff rambling for now.

I want Phoenix up again!!!

Shady self-destructed @ 11:38


Friday, December 01, 2006


Aarrgghhh have been so goddamned busy lately!! Uhmm... ookie, itz mainly due to game addiction that I haven't blogged for awhile. Hmm don't expect a long entry this time too - though there is much I wanna say, the lure of games is just too strong today. Ohh f**k it rhymes!! Anyway, am feeling kinda good rite now, though my life is pretty much still f**ked up. Nopex, lousy PRC toads have yet to pay me. Nopex I didn't win the lottery or something. And nahh itz nothing to do with helping out @ an SPCA sale earlier today (though that felt pretty nice), and itz nothing to do with watching Saw III (good movie) in the evening either. Then again, the positive things should have added up.

Well... my reason...

I just finished a cross-stitch design, thatz why!! Check out my Stitch Tracker if yer interested to see a pic of the completed piece. Ain't 100% yet - it'll be 100% only after itz been framed or whatever.

Thatz all folks. Am gonna go take a shower, then hopefully level up for the nxt few hours. Got loads of catching up to do if I wanna keep up with DP!!

Shady self-destructed @ 01:26







.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page



Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.

In Progress

  • Dark Cloud 2
  • Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
  • Kingdom Hearts
  • Kingdom Hearts II
  • Wild Arms 3

In Queue

  • Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
  • Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
  • Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
  • Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
  • Dark Cloud
  • Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
  • Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
  • Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
  • Final Fantasy X
  • Final Fantasy X-2
  • Final Fantasy XII
  • Grandia III
  • Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
  • Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
  • Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
  • Persona 3
  • Rogue Galaxy
  • Rule of Rose
  • Shadow Hearts: Covenant
  • Shadow Hearts: From The New World
  • Shining Force Neo
  • Silent Hill 3
  • Silent Hill 4: The Room
  • Soul Cradle [Jap]
  • Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
  • Suikoden IV
  • Suikoen V
  • Tales of the Abyss
  • Wild Arms Alter Code: F
  • Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

  • Ar tonelico II [?]
  • Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
  • Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
  • Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
  • Digimon World Data Squad
  • Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
  • Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
  • Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
  • Drakengard
  • Drakengard 2
  • Dual Hearts
  • Elvandia Story [?]
  • Ephemeral Fantasia
  • Eternal Ring
  • Evergrace
  • Forever Kingdom
  • Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
  • Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
  • Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
  • Growlanser Generations
  • Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
  • Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
  • Jade Cocoon 2
  • Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
  • Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
  • Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
  • MS Saga: A New Dawn
  • Musashi Samurai Legend
  • Odin Sphere
  • Okage: Shadow King
  • Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
  • Radiata Stories
  • RPG Maker 2 [?]
  • RPG Maker 3 [?]
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
  • Shining Force Exa
  • Shining Wind [?]
  • Shining Tears
  • Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
  • Steambot Chronicles
  • Summoner
  • Summoner 2
  • Tales of Destiny [?]
  • Tales of Destiny II [?]
  • Tales of Legendia
  • Tales of Rebirth [?]
  • Tales of Symphonia [?]
  • The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
  • Tsugunai: Atonement
  • Unlimited Saga
  • Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
  • Wild Arms 5 [?]
  • Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
  • Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
  • Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
  • .hack//Infection Part 1
  • .hack//Mutation Part 2
  • .hack//Outbreak Part 3
  • .hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

  • Grandia II
  • Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
  • Legend of Legia II
  • Shadow Hearts
  • Silent Hill 2
  • Suikoden III

Trash Bin

  • 7 Sins
  • Urbz: Sims in The City
  • Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...


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+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

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