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Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else


I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free


Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel


Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone


No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try


Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye


Fade to Black - Metallica




Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life


Tuesday, October 31, 2006


An age long question that I've asked since the day I played Pokemon Yellow... and I nvr bothered to type it out till now. LoL till a few episodes of Pokemon Advanced Season 6. This is truly warping the minds of kids... picture this...

Ash: Pikachu! Use Thunderbolt attack!!
Pikachu: piiiikkkkkaaaacchhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

A huge electric bolt hits the target (and team rocket blasts off again).

Ookie, whatz wrong with it? Uhhmmm did Ash just say "thunderbolt"? Since when does thunder come in bolts... and since when does thunder become electricity? Hello?! Thunder is the rumbling sound (occasionally deafening) that follows a lightning flash. Lightning is the one with electricity. It should be a lightning bolt instead of a thunderbolt. My my, thatz sufficient to get even Thor confused, isn't it?

Shady self-destructed @ 12:09

Monday, October 30, 2006


Went down to the career fair, picked up a few freebies and got my hopes totally crushed -.-" LoL apparently, due to my height, I ain't applicable to be in the civil defence or be a prisons officer either - not to mention, SPF. The reps that I spoke to told me to go ahead and apply, and that the ht & wt are mere guidelines... then they continued to mention that itz a basic requirement. D-U-H. Seriously, did they realise that they contradicted themselves? Hahaha and no kidding, u read it right. "They". All of them said the same thingy. Anyway ah well, don't expect much lah, they are just normal cops and all... not the PR reps. Eh but seriously the fair is much much smaller than I really expected. Tons of 'nonsense' too - eg. MDIS, SIM and NTU promoting courses (and someone actually offered me a brochure for a degree in Mass Comm... sheesh), and various insurance companies looking for financial advisors. A little waste of time really, but ah well... there are the freebies :P

Ah well... Sat @ TCC was one hell of a busy night!! Plus the make-up was really annoying. LoL imagine all that gunk on the face while u gotta walk around & serve customers? Hahaha... itz funny though, some of the customers turned up in costume as well. Guess they are probably going for clubbing afterwhich. Some of them deserved to be laughed at, really. Hello... dressing up as a goth ain't equivalent to being in costume!!! Stupid!! Plus some were really 'act cute', if u get what I mean. Hmm itz round 2 for me on actual Halloween day. Wonder what am I gonna wear this time. As again, nth fancy. LoL and the 1st time in my life, my colleagues actually said I looked sexy in that black outfit. Hahahah guess the only reason they said it is coz most of the time I look like a total slob -.-"

Zombie Vs Warlock

The Dark Angel w/o his wings

Gah... I just look dead, don't I? Actually the most annoying thingy is when my hair gets blown across my face & gets stuck to the "paste" on it. Plus itz pretty irritating not to be able to splatter my face with water - my usual habit - when I make a trip to the loo. Boy was I glad when it was finally over, and thankfully it wasn't too hard to get rid of the stuff. I can't imagine going home in that!! Oh yeah, and for the 1st time, I actually took company transport home. Phew, thankfully there were only 2 other staff in the bus heading towards the West side. Even so, it was almost 3am when I arrived.

The Undead & the Sea Monster

The Devil w/o the makeup

Will bring my digicam again on Tues, and hopefully manage to take pics with some of the colleagues I missed out on. Shame that I didn't manage to photograph some of the more interesting costumes. Only managed to get those during my break. Wonder what kinda night izzit gonna be *fingers crossed*

Shady self-destructed @ 09:49

Saturday, October 28, 2006


Been a while since I last blogged - been so messed up that I can't even think straight, much less put words to thoughts. Been experiencing a weird mix of emotions since last week. Things have stablised slightly now. Got tha' feeling that it'll soon be time to close yet another chapter of my life, and begin yet another. Hopefully the nxt one's gonna be more positive. Then again, I should not hope. The larger the hope, the bigger the disappointment. Yeah... itz still the same 'ol pessimistic me. I wonder who cares.

Been a while since I last blogged - and yeah, who cares? I sincerely doubt that there are tons of ppl who are interested in what goes on in this life of mine. If there are ppl really reading this regularly, guess they are either those who I call friends, those who take a certain ego-boosting pleasure in reading how "pathetic" another person's life can be... or well, just a funny mixture of both. So why do I still blog? Why do I see the need in materialising my thoughts in cyberspace text? LoLx, good question. To which I do not know the answer. Maybe I'm just one of those bored phucks out there who loves reading back on my own "diary". Hmm... then again, it is interesting to see the changes in urself, isn't it?

Speaking of changes. Think I've changed a great deal since I was in my teens. F**k childhood. I don't remember much about it except dilligently watching anime in the afternoon. Anime thatz horribly dubbed in Mandarin. Ehh, come to think of it, I didn't mind back then. But now? The thought of watching anime dubbed over in whatever language is simply blasphemous (with exception of pokemon -.-"). Wonder what brought ard that change. It seems that, the older I get - the more critical, the more cynical I become. Not to mention, am getting harder to please and find it more difficult to be happy.

Secondary was bad. Don't wanna think about it.

Poly - that was the prime of my life I think. I was busy with activities, surrounded by friends (hi-bye ones nonetheless) and almost always had plans. Now? Itz alredi so goddamned difficult to find someone to have dinner/supper with me, much less go out to just hang ard or watch a movie. Oh, itz not as if I didn't try. But either my SMSes go ignored, or the person alredi has other plans. Ah well, the world doesn't revolve around me - people don't have to come out just coz I ask them to. Am totally kewl if you've got some other plans and all... but I just get kinda irritated when the SMS gets unanswered. Guess there are some folks in the world who still have problems declining certain things that they'd rather avoid the topic altogether. Is telling the truth really that difficult?

Okay, I won't go to the extent of saying that I've got no friends at all - I believe I still have a few out there. But at times, it does seem that way. Then again it might just be me who is always asking things at a wrong time. *shrugx* Think I'll just stop trying so hard. Maybe things will just happen all by itself.

F**k it, I won't die.

Wrking at TCC again later. Itz some Halloween event thingy being held there this week. Managed to escape wearing a costume tml, but think there's no escape later. Eh seriously I ain't looking forward to it, coz I've got no costume in mind. Gahh!! Don't even think about going to rent one, coz my pay ain't sufficient to even cover costume rental. *sigh* Guess I'll just dress in full black and count on my colleagues to do the "make-up" for me. Wonder if I should go in black jeans or skirt. My top suits a skirt more... but itz gonna be a hassle wrking in a skirt. I hated skirts... and I still do. Thatz one thing that will never change!! Hmm.. maybe I'll go check out the optician later, to see if they have 1-day colored lenses. Hardly likely, but yeah I don't really mind having milky eyes for the nite. At least if I do that, they can't say that I didn't make any effort at all!!

Hahah should have seen the costumes last nite. Too bad I didn't bring a digicam down. There was a Sadako wannabe, a pigtailed uhh zombie I think, a witch, a fallen angel, zombies and one uhh... ookie to be frank, I've got no idea what that is. Seems like some kinda cross between a naruto character, an angel with broken wings and Bleach deathgod. Darn!! I only managed to take a hp shot with Sadako... but missed the rest due to it being a bz nite. Ah well... am gonna bring the cam down later. Hopefully itz gonna be interesting. Itz a shame that I don't know my colleagues that well either (as I don't wrk often and frankly I didn't make much of an effort to socialise), or itz just gonna be plain fun.

Well itz not all nice and kewl there. Guess I'll be leaving once I find a full-time job that pays the bills. Though the majority of the ppl are fine, there are some folks there that make wrking with them a real pain in the ass. They seem to be a walking time bomb with perpetual PMS. Don't those folks actually think before they speak? Gosh!! Ah well... no choice. Guess u do meet such dicks no matter where u work. Those jerkoffs betta develop some ppl skills. Can't imagine that they are actually in F&B huh?

Jeez itz just so tempting to go on to IRC and see if anyone wants to go out for supper after wrk tonite. But f**k that idea. I'll probably just get myself pissed and end up cutting short all conversations. LoL what in the world has happened to me? Where did the friendly out-going person I used to be disappear to?

Another hour and half before I leave. Hmm... wonder what am I gonna do now. Am a little tired of fishing - but I need the G to upgrade to another rod. Hahah I must have no life. I can't believe that I'm still playing that game!! Now that I'm taking a break frm wrk, guess itz time to start checking out other mmorpgs. In the meantime, will just enjoy this recent screenie. With a stranger in a bear suit.

Shady self-destructed @ 14:55

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Be careful of what u ask for - you might just get it!

LoLx was lamenting about being alone @ home on sundays... and was seriously contemplating putting in my schedule request at TCC. Somehow due to sloth, I didn't. But yet part of me wishes that I'll have shifts on Sundays. Am just sick & tired of spending the day alone I guess... though technically I wasn't alone coz I'm either fishing & chatting with other Ozians or talking to someone via MSN. Ah well... anyway despite not requesting any shifts on Sun, TCC is short-handed and I gotta wrk 12-6pm!! The good thing is, more $$ of coz. The negative thing is... I had intended to fish for a bit -.-"

Anyway, finally got my sack of lazy bones down to Spring Language School. Haha some of the teachers were pretty surprised to see me, and I daresay some of the students as well. Itz a coincidence that the new girl - Yvonne is on MC today. Hmm... wonder what kinda person is she. Kinda plain looking & slightly plump, if u ask me, judging frm her IC pic & comments frm Winston. Ah well... looks don't really matter coz afterall, she's frm the same gender! Gah, if only they would hire a cute guy, it'll make wrking slightly more bearable - but that wouldn't diminish my resolve to leave for good!

Sheesh when the hell are they gonna give me my pay? Am gonna ask for it by the end of the day if they don't auto do it. *sigh* Well have considered, thought about things, and will be submitting my resignation slightly later. Probably nxt week. But officially my last day should be 6th Nov. I'm entitled to 14 days of annual leave after I complete my 1st year, nothing is gonna stop me frm cashing that in. Hmm... will use that as payment of the 1k I guess. Well, pointless thinking too much rite now, have yet to speak to the PRC toad. Will take things a step at a time and hope for the best.

Now, to step up my job hunt!

Shady self-destructed @ 15:02

Wednesday, October 18, 2006


After some 36hrs split between a couple of months... it is done. Completed Grandia II earlier this evening. Finally!! Lol itz funny though, that I do feel a slight sense of sadness, now that the game is done. The story is over - and yeah, the good guys won in the end. Itz like... bading farewell to the characters that have been part of my life for quite sometime. No doubt they are fictional, but somewhere in this twisted mind of mine, they'll always remain. Ryudo, Millenia, Elena, Roan, Tio and Mareg.

*spoiler alert!*

Margeg. Call me crazy but, itz difficult not to feel a twinge of pain when he died heroically in one of the final chapters - a self sacrifice, so that the other could live. Plus who can not feel anything when the little girl Aira was posessed by the eye of Valmar and had her soul shattered in the process (of coz she recovered fully in the end)... and Tio. An automata. A human created machine warrior who finally found her heart. Roan, a cute little boy who became a wonderful king after the death of his father. Ryudo - the male lead of the story... yeah I might have fallen for him 5 years ago. Not forgetting his sidekick, the falcon Skye. Haha think he's just there for comic relief. Millenia - the wings of Valmar. Supposedly evil, but grew to love Ryudo and the others and fought alongside them. Elena. Stupid little Elena. I'm sure she's one character most typical girls will love. Self-righteous, extremely girly and ahem... blinded by faith. Pah!! Gimme Millenia anytime!!

Anyway, here's some more screenies, downloaded off GameSpot.

This is my way of thanking you...

Reclaiming Roan's medallion

Well... I tried to continue playing Dark Cloud 2 awhile ago. Gee, itz been a long time since I started that game! All that weapon synthesizing and scoop obtaining got to me for a bit, and had intended to use Grandia II as a little break. Lol yeah and I ended up getting hooked. Ah well... think I gotta refresh myself a little. Had slight problems with the controls earlier, and I totally forgot what was I trying to synth!! Walkthru' time. Am just too lazy to figure out the weaps all by myself. At the same time, will just try to earn some G on Oz. Itz gonna take awhile to get the outfit I'm eyeing -.-"

Work-wise. *sigh* Got a few ideas in my head now, but am unsure if it'll work. Well, guess I'll nvr know till I try. Pointless getting too stressed up rite now. To try, I gotta get my bloody ass down to Bishan. Gah... I was supposed to go to wrk today. Managed to summon all my willpower and set my mind to it. Until... I got a call for an interview. Decided to forget my mental promise and go for the interview at 11am instead. That proved to be a huge mistake - an entire waste of time.

Itz an advertising company in town. The positions that were advertised on ST701 was that for a part-time admin assistant and a customer service officer. I applied for both. I went down for the interview, filled up the form and waited for my turn. In the meantime, other applicants turned up too. It was then I started to regret my decision of forsaking work (I could have gotten my cheque today). The other applicants were foreigners, and pardon my arrogance... but they don't seem very well educated to me. So I started to think - what the hell is this position about actually? Well... then I found out. It was a sales position. Sheesh!!! Seriously that f**ker who called could have told me on the phone. If it ain't bad enuff that I have zlich interest whatsoever in sales, imagine this - no CPF deduction, and take home pay is estimated to be about 1.2k... that is inclusive of basic & commission. Thatz it. My interview was over in 3min. Simply told the interviewer that I ain't in the least interested.

Aaargghhh this ain't the 1st time that I've been "conned" for an interview, and I'm sure this certainly won't be the last, if I don't start being more discriminative about companies while seeking for a job. Question is - is this ethical? Placing an ad for a position that doesn't exist, offering a totally f**ked up position in return... hence, wasting the time of sincere applicants. Companies like that should burn.

Shady self-destructed @ 01:52

Saturday, October 14, 2006


Went for an interview yesterday for a part-time teaching position @ a learning ctr. Yet another non-conclusive session. No contract offered, nth. Just a typical, we'll place you under consideration and will keep you informed. Ah well *shrugx* will see how things go then - since the interviewer claimed that they are in the midst of planning their schedule & will only let me know when things are confirmed. Hmm... but the job doesn't sound too bad. Part-time, 3hrs min. 1 day per week. $20/hr. Either pri sci or maths. Gee... pri maths questions are tricky these days! There was a "test" and lol I only managed to answer 1 of the 2 problem sums given. The other one got me pretty stumped. Gahhh itz been ages since I did those kinda sums! LoL used to enjoy them when I was in pri skool though. Anyway the ctr has teaching plans and all... plus training will be provided so should I get the position, it'll be kewl! At least it'll give me something to do on a Sunday =)

Anyway despite my misgivings, I've sent a new application to the MOE for a teaching position. Will have to wait and see whether they'll deem I'm suitable this time. It'll be funny though, if they didn't call me - considering that they did a year ago. LoLx. Whatever it is, nothing can be as bad as Spring Language School.

Speaking of work... yeah I should be getting my ass back there on Mon. Will be late of coz, gotta drag myself down to LTA 1st. Darn I nvr knew that there was ERP frm PIE -> CTE. Didn't place my cashcard in my IU when I went for tuition at AMK, twice. And the fines are like $10 each time, $8.50 if paid via AXS. Insane. *shakes head* Gotta go down personally to appeal to see if things can be uhmm... "forgiven".

Shady self-destructed @ 12:39

Thursday, October 05, 2006


Ben's accident was a sham. An excuse that he made up to justify the $ spent on modifications to his car. I saw the end product last nite. It is impossible that the car got into the accident he described. So the story goes - on the queue on the way to JB customs, a car in front of him applied the e-brake. He couldn't stop in time, and crashed into that guy's butt... damaging his front bumper & bonnet in the process. The car behind him couldn't stop either, and crashed into the back of his Mazda. There goes the back bumper & all. Interesting story, if only itz true. Claimed that they made a police report (that he couldn't produce) in JB, and that since the accident took place in M'sia, insurance ain't valid.

Right. He took the car back frm the wrkshop last nite. Afixed on the car was a new air vent, front & rear bumper, side skirting & spoiler. Ookie. He claimed that the bonnet was damaged. I looked @ it. Nopex. Itz still the same bonnet w/o a single scratch. Oh, the car looks shitty alrite, because of the add-ons and no paintwork. Oh, and the front no. plate & headlights were intact. Hmm... u tell me, how izzit possible to crash into the vehicle in front and not damage ur no. plate and headlights? LoL... and the rear? The tail-lights were not even replaced for gawd's sake! Someone banged ur butt and ur tail lights got off scott free? Hardly likely. Besides... there is no dent, nothing anywhere that suggested impact. C'mon lah, my bike knocked into the car on the BKE and that bugger's tail light alredi went kaput. A car crashed into the Mazda and nth happened? What... his mazda's tail lights are made of special reinforced material? Uhh also how did the side skirtings get affected?

What does he think I am? Stupid?

Unfortunately for him, I grew up equipped with brains. Saw thru' the ruse and mentioned it to him sarcastically. Obviously, he still stuck to the story. But body language and all simply displayed that he was totally uncomfortable at being interrogated. Plus Xiao Hei was there, so he simply used him to change topics and all. Ohh... and I forgot to mention, he changed is internal light to a blue neon one. What happened? The impact of the crash caused the bulb to blow and it had to be replaced? Hahahahaha that accident only took place in fantasy land lah - in the brain of one so twisted.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Just another lie to keep on record. All these stuff are gonna be useful when I wanna file for an immediate divorce. Dun wanna go thru' that 3-yr seperation shit. I believe chronic lying falls into the category of 'unreasonable behavior'. But I'll leave the decision to the lawyers & judge. The quicker this is settled... the quicker I move on. LoL, taken frm the movie - The Stepford Wives, I can do better.

Oh yeah! Good news!! Heard frm a colleague that there's a new ofc staff @ Spring Language School! Which means, I should be able to get outta there soon enough. I'm not that eager to find a replacement job rite now. I've still got my TCC part-time to fall back upon. Besides, I've been having a few thoughts lately. Maybe after dissolving the marriage, and settling all legal stuff... I might wanna go back to school. Not in Singapore though, overseas. Gotta check out how much $ is involved, future prospects after graduation and all b4 I make any decisions. Will probably run the idea thru' my parents too.

Ahhh well... for a short-term goal, I'm dying to have a meal @ Pariss again. LoL was simply dreaming of sashimi last nite.

Shady self-destructed @ 14:08

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


Itz now the 3rd day since I refused to go to wrk. For the full-time job I mean. *shrugx* My pay is gonna be so lousy this mth, but frankly, am at that point that I don't give a shit anymore. I mean... yeah I'm worried about the bills and all, but heyz, why do I have to be the one always contributing, always paying while he defaults his part? Am being so lazy lately that I don't even know what days I'm wrking @ TCC this week. Perhaps will call them for my schedule later - was off the last weekend due to 2 days MC frm the accident. The bruise on my hand has since healed. Have yet to send Harsume for a "check up". Will probably wait till I receive last mth's paycheck to do so. *sigh* I just hope they fire me soon. Yeah... even though I don't exactly have a backup job waiting.

Guess I failed the interview I went last Wed. Itz a shame. Thought I had a higher chance of being hired since my cousin recommended me... but I apparently blew it, said certain stuff I shouldn't have had -.-" Should have put on a mask and pretended tat I was really keen on the job, and that I'll stay till as long they want me instead of telling the interviewer that I'm not too sure about it due to travelling distance. *smacks head* Gawd knows what I was thinking back then!! Ah well. Just too bad.

These days, have been spending my time alternating between watching Trinity Blood, expanding my town on TS2 and fishing. LoL yeah I'm surprised that I'm still into Oz. Am up to lvl 10 now. Guess itz the motivation that - if u don't fish, u don't have sufficient G to purchase clothes and even the nxt lvl rod. Plus fishing in a party gives a considerable exp boost (5% per person who's fishing), makes me kinda reluctant to leave when I have a full party. And just occasionally there are cool folks ard that I can click with. Online game programmers are getting intelligent these days.

n00b no more

Oh, as for the accident, can u believe the coincidence? Went to make a police report on that night itself, after dinner, and the owner of the black car was there! I was lucky that I got off scott free though - that the guy took down a wrong bike no. and described the wrong bike & rider color. Guess he just didn't know what hit him... and by the time he realised that someone did, I was alredi gone. Apparently he saw another bike stopped along the PIE and automatically assumed that was the culprit as the poor guy was checking his bike. Well... whatever it is, I've done my part, made a report. He was unfortunate. Got his left tailight smashed. Guess shit does happen to everyone sometimes.

Speaking about shit happening. I busted my microwave. Damnit. Though I can't say for sure that itz my fault!! Was trying to heat up a bowl of sardines... somehow the bowl toppled and there was a total mess. I cleaned up the parts and put it up to dry though. Then the nxt day when I tried micowaving my soup, I found out that the microwave no longer works. And part of the roller is broken. Ack, I swear I have been careful while taking the part out frm the mw. I frankly don't think that it was me who broke it. As for why the mw is no longer working, I don't know... perhaps the sauce and all caused some kind of circuit malfunction. *sigh* More expenses to bear. I just don't know why that ever since I moved in to Jelapang, it seems that I need to fork out $ every single mth. Things get damaged, things get screwed up... and itz just pay and pay. *mumbles* Should have gotten some geomancy expert to take a look @ the place b4 I moved in. Not that I exactly believe in such stuff... but u know, better safe than sorry!!

kitchen carnage

Am just so mentally drained lately. Just imagine all that crap piling up and u come home to an empty house every single night? It just as if I'm living alone. The difference is. If I'm living alone, I'll welcome the solitude, I know that itz there. But thing is... itz not. Am supposed to be getting more than this! And there's the $ issue. Apparently that bum got into an accident @ JB last week - when he went w/o me. Paying for all the damages, will leave him totally broke again. Damnit, when is he ever gonna earn enuff to feed himself? Doesn't he see that the car was a mistake? Plus why the fuck is he always hanging out with his 'colleagues' these days? Those folks are nothing more than negative influence - causing him to spend more and more $$. Ack ookie, it ain't their fault. Itz just the lack of common sense & responsiblity on the part of a certain someone.

Oookie... enuff about ranting about this matter. There's only 1 way to set things right again. Maybe after all is said and done, I should really start thinking about my future. Perhaps I will go back to school and get that vet science degree that I've always wanted - get a study loan or whatever it is. Am just sick of having jobs I don't like.

Shady self-destructed @ 11:46

Sunday, October 01, 2006


Itz a shame. Harry's dead.

I didn't like the rabbit, but trust it, it was painful watching him die. And I could only stand there helpless. I didn't have the courage to try change anything. Basically when I saw him jump outta the tank, I knew he was a goner. Private is a vicious dog. No amount of shouting or persuasion or temptation with food could divert his attention away. And now... it all becomes my fault, according to Ben. Well... yeah, it was me that opened the kitchen door - coz I wanted to place the plate of duck back on the table. Private dashed out and made a beeline for the rabbits' tanks. Harry panicked, jumped, knocked the 'cover' off his tank and ended up on the floor. There was no stopping Private who caught the rabbit in seconds. There was really no place for Harry to escape.

It was brutal. Private simply clamped his jaws around the poor rodent and held on. Harry squealed, struggled... and eventually lost the fight. Arrrgghhhhhhh it was painful watching the entire event take place. Once Harry became devoid of strength he simply lay there twitching. I did try getting to him then but Private was simly too territorial. Any attempt to get closer simply resulted in a warning growl. Called Ben but all he did was yell over the phone and hung up... *sigh* True, there was really nth much he could do coz he ain't home in the 1st place - went to some "ship" again.

Hence the passing of Harry the rabbit.

His carcass is still lying in the tank in the hall. Frankly, no one wanted to touch him. *sigh* Will probably bury him downstairs later tonite. Private is gone now though - back with his original owner who came to collect him. Itz funny how he totally 'changed' when the owner came. Just one word frm the owner and he was the submissive dog all over again. Ben could nvr get that kinda reaction frm Private, and neither did Xiao Hei. Well... I wouldn't miss him, thatz for sure!! Yeah true, itz just Private's nature. JRTs are hunting dogs afterall. But seriously, Ben should have known better.

It was a challenge getting Private to return to the kitchen to begin with. Xiao Hei came up to help... borrowed a stick frm my neighbour and somehow managed to chase the pooch back in. There he simply sat down and growled at anyone who even tried opening the door. *shakes head* Am so glad that he's gone. At least the kitchen wouldn't be so stinky with shit & poo anymore. Plus the floor's gonna be less icky.

Such is the character of Ben. He wants something, and he gets it... but refuses to do all that maintainence work - hoping that somehow someone (aka yours truly) will do it for him. He was the one who wanted to get married, but afterwhich, nvr made an effort to make things pleasant. Got the flat, but barely does the cleaning up. Got the rabbits... and leaves them living in inches of their own poo. Gets Private, and simply left him locked up in the service area almost 24/7, w/o even bothering to ensure that he has sufficient food & water for the day. Am starting to think he's just one psychopath - read the article in the latest issue of Reader's Digest and u'll know what I mean.

Shady self-destructed @ 15:26






.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page



Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.

In Progress

  • Dark Cloud 2
  • Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
  • Kingdom Hearts
  • Kingdom Hearts II
  • Wild Arms 3

In Queue

  • Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
  • Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
  • Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
  • Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
  • Dark Cloud
  • Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
  • Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
  • Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
  • Final Fantasy X
  • Final Fantasy X-2
  • Final Fantasy XII
  • Grandia III
  • Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
  • Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
  • Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
  • Persona 3
  • Rogue Galaxy
  • Rule of Rose
  • Shadow Hearts: Covenant
  • Shadow Hearts: From The New World
  • Shining Force Neo
  • Silent Hill 3
  • Silent Hill 4: The Room
  • Soul Cradle [Jap]
  • Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
  • Suikoden IV
  • Suikoen V
  • Tales of the Abyss
  • Wild Arms Alter Code: F
  • Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

  • Ar tonelico II [?]
  • Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
  • Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
  • Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
  • Digimon World Data Squad
  • Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
  • Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
  • Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
  • Drakengard
  • Drakengard 2
  • Dual Hearts
  • Elvandia Story [?]
  • Ephemeral Fantasia
  • Eternal Ring
  • Evergrace
  • Forever Kingdom
  • Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
  • Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
  • Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
  • Growlanser Generations
  • Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
  • Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
  • Jade Cocoon 2
  • Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
  • Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
  • Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
  • MS Saga: A New Dawn
  • Musashi Samurai Legend
  • Odin Sphere
  • Okage: Shadow King
  • Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
  • Radiata Stories
  • RPG Maker 2 [?]
  • RPG Maker 3 [?]
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
  • Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
  • Shining Force Exa
  • Shining Wind [?]
  • Shining Tears
  • Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
  • Steambot Chronicles
  • Summoner
  • Summoner 2
  • Tales of Destiny [?]
  • Tales of Destiny II [?]
  • Tales of Legendia
  • Tales of Rebirth [?]
  • Tales of Symphonia [?]
  • The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
  • Tsugunai: Atonement
  • Unlimited Saga
  • Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
  • Wild Arms 5 [?]
  • Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
  • Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
  • Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
  • .hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
  • .hack//Infection Part 1
  • .hack//Mutation Part 2
  • .hack//Outbreak Part 3
  • .hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

  • Grandia II
  • Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
  • Legend of Legia II
  • Shadow Hearts
  • Silent Hill 2
  • Suikoden III

Trash Bin

  • 7 Sins
  • Urbz: Sims in The City
  • Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...


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+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

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