Contradictory Ramblings Version 2.0

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

Fade to Black - Metallica

Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life

Friday, September 29, 2006

Impact on BKE -> PIE

*shakes head* Today is not a good day. If only I had listened to my inner voice & not go to work - I wouldn't be involved in an accident on the BKE exit towards PIE. A minor one, no doubt, considering that I'm now @ wrk & still typing. No injuries, with exception of a bothersome bruise on the last finger of my right hand. Sheesh, now I gotta adapt to not using that finger when I type -.-" Have alredi notified Dez that I wouldn't be turning up for wrk at TCC later - will be heading home & making a police report instead. Damn the finger. Hopefully itz just a bruise and nothing else.

But that ain't my main worry. Am worried that the car involved will make a report against me for hit-and-run. You see, I didn't stop. I couldn't have had, in that point of time, even if I wanted to... and trust me, the thought did cross my mind. Thing is, I couldn't find anywhere safe to stop w/o blocking traffic @ that peak hour. I only stopped much after the exit - when there's a decent shoulder lane avaliable, and I didn't see the damned car. F**k I didn't even get to see the no. plate!

All I knew is, he braked in front of me, I couldn't stop in time, I swerved and Harusame collided with a sickening thud. Thankfully I managed to regain control & I barely grazed another car on the left. At that point of time, the only thought that crossed my brain was - DON'T FALL!! I didn't. Managed to get myself all the way to Bishan eventually *sigh* But Harusame isn't totally w/o injury. The mirror was loose, no physical wounds... but the front brake disc might have been damaged on impact - judging frm the jerkiness of it. Am not too sure which part of him hit the car.

Arrgghhh will probably have to replace the disc brake and that will cost more than $100 for sure. *sigh* There goes my $$ again. It seems as if, every mth, something will cause me to spend outside my budget - be it Harusame or Phoenix. Makes me wonder whether I'm cursed. I just hope that this is the last time I'm gonna blow more than $100 on something. I just can't afford it to continue -.-"

Guess I should be thankful in a way. The situation could have been much worse. I should consider myself lucky that I was able to walk away with just a brusied finger that will probably heal in a week or so. There are ppl who get killed in automobile accidents - mainly bike riders. So yeah... I am thankful.

Employment Matters

Brought my contract down to MOM yesterday. Verdict - they can do nothing about it at this point of time. The response is simillar to that of the email I sent a couple of mths back. It is debatable whether I'm covered by the employment act. Even if so... what they can do force the company to reimburse me the MCs and annual leave that I'm entitled to. Officer claimed that the MOM cannot step-in when itz a mutual agreement between both parties. Makes me wonder... in that case, what the hell are those guidlines for? When they can't do this and can't do that? Eventually asked me to either consult a lawyer, resign & pay the company, or serve till the end of my term. Duh!!

Maybe I'm expecting too much frm the gahmen. I should just understand that, despite all the claims and the impression that they are all powerful... there's really nothing much they can do when action is required.

Whatever it is, I've went for an interview on Wed. If I'm offered that position & if the remuneration is decent... I'm getting the hell outta here, pronto. I'll probably have to resort to f**king up things at wrk or simply going MIA. Should I still be forced to pay the 1k for breaking up the contract... am gonna ensure that those PRC bastards will have to 'work' for it. Not that I'm gonna keep silent if I can keep that 1k. They've crossed the boundaries by forcing me to be in conflict with my morales. It has been a horrible 11 mths for me here, till date. When I'm outta here, it'll be payback time.

Shady self-destructed @ 09:57

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I hate JRTs.

One Lacky is enuff. I can't even begin to state how glad I was that he's gone. Finally!! Yeah I know, he left my place a few mths ago... and now, in comes yet another JRT. A young dog, but no less silent. Frankly, I hate dogs coz they're just goddamned noisy - just as bad as a human child + they require walks & occasionally poo/pee on the floor. Not to mention, an untrained dog is just a hazard. Know how much damage a dog's bite can do? Ah hah!! I much prefer cats - invidualistic almost-silent companions.

If you haven't guess it by now, someone brought a dog home last nite. Yes, I'm pissed. Gotta fight this temptation to just hurl the damned pooch outta the window. Of coz... that I wouldn't do - am anti-animal cruelty (+ I really do intend to volunteer with the SPCA!). I don't even know its name. Can't be bothered to find out, really. It won't be that bad if the pooch isn't a JRT. Don't ask me why, I just find JRTs ugly - with a head too big for their stubby legs and tiny sausage like bodies. Plus, they are extreme shedders. I can't imagine all my stuff being covered with white fur a few days frm now. *shakes head* Now all I can hope is, that bugger is toilet trained. Outside trained, that is!

Jeez... now I can guess how my parents must have felt when I brought home a pet that they never really wanted.

Anyway, I view this as a disrespectful move on that bum's part. He knows my dislike for canines, and I did mention that should I compromise, it'll be for a big dog (ie. german shepherd, golden retriever or husky). A JRT is NOT a big dog. Yet despite all that, the jumped at the offer when Xiao Hei mentioned his relative is giving away a pooch. According to Ben, he'll take care of the dog as long as he can... and if really cannot, will give it away. hellllooooooooo... u know what I feel 'bout such actions rite? A pet is a lifetime responsibility. Not a toy to 'pass on' after u get sick of it. Thatz the reason y I haven't been looking 4 adopters for those 4 nasty rabbits. Itz just irresponsible. Period.

Fishing wise, managed to make considerable progress on Oz last nite. AMK kid cancelled his tuition so I got home early & fished! Am lvl 6 now. Heh, I didn't know that itz possible to get clothes via fishing either - got a black swimsuit outta that *grinx* Gold is still difficult to earn and levelling takes forever. Saw a lvl 60 player in game!! Gosh, that person must have no life. Hahahaha, heard frm another player that she took 7 mths to get up to lvl 27 -.-" Gee I don't think I'll still be on Oz 7 mths frm now.

Gotta go down for an interview straight after wrk later, then it'll be off to tuition @ Jelapang. At nite, gotta burn some CDs for Kim... then there's RAW as well, so yeah, don't think I'll even bother to purchase a rod for fishing tonite - itz just gonna be a waste of precious G. Am tempted to obtain a 7-day rod (800G) but judging frm my hours online, think itz more economical to opt for the 1-day rod (120G) instead. Ahh well, just hope I'll be able to catch sumthing betta soon. For my next logon... weekend probably, am gonna color my sprite's hair. That black bob cut is certainly annoying!!

Shady self-destructed @ 14:19

Monday, September 25, 2006

Yeah it was the graphics card that went kaput. Changed my GeForce4 Ti to a Radeo 9550 - apparently, according to the tech, thatz the best card my current motherboard is able to support. *shrugx* well... guess I'll just have to save up for a total new PC then - if I want something betta! But at the moment, am pretty satisfied with things they way they are ^-^ Re-installed TS2, and it runs fine on low settings. Plus I downloaded & installed a really nostalgic game - Oz Global. LoL yeah I used to play on a local server... met quite a few great friends on it - though we're not exactly in contact rite now. It was great!! Those days fishing with my "clanmates" frm Blue Zephyr, and those days of hanging out with them irl are to be sorely missed :P

The lure of Phoenix was simply too great.

I stayed home frm wrk again today... despite telling myself that I should not let my pay be deducted any further this mth -.-"

Well... besides being on TS2 for the betta part of the day, got my ass on Oz, and managed to get up to lvl 4!! *grinx* Yeah itz a lame game - whereby all u do is fish... the more u fish, the faster u level. Partying just gives u bonus exp. Met a few kewl ppl on my 1st day. SMESJ, crasss and Kalinite. Got to know the 1st 2 mentioned the minute I stepped into the world =) They did help me with quite a bit, considering that I totally forgot everything there is! Plus they were kind enuff to party me. Kalinite came later... a n00b like me. Simply went browsing ard the shops avaliable. Hopefully I'll see them again - though frankly, it'll be tough, considering that I work crazy hours & they are on different time zones. I didn't do much today though... just fished, chatted. Will explore some other spots in future. Hopefully I'll lvl fast enuff coz there are just so many hairstyles I wanna try!!

The beginning...

A closer view of SMESJ, me & crasss

Went for tuition... then packed KFC home to eat while I fish. LoL initially the plan was to go JB to pump petrol tonite, but someone had to visit an uncle who was in "hospital", so yeah. Doesn't matter though - more fishing time!! Target for the nite - level 5. That'll unlock a nice cat top & a one day rod... which will allow me to hook crucian carps!! Wonder how long izzit gonna take for me to get bored of this game. Levelling up is such a pain, plus there are like goddamned many levels to attain b4 I can nab the big ones. Jeez not to mention, gold seems pretty hard to obtain... and those high lvl rods are way ex!! Considering the amt of time I'll spend playing, I'll be lucky to recoup the captial amt spent.

Oh yeah, my ign is oXsakuyaXo, if anyone happens to play it to. More screenies to come in the future (till I find something betta).

Shady self-destructed @ 22:12

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Ookie! I've spent a while reading up on stuff on the Internet, and during lunch earlier, borrowed a book frm the library - one of the "dummies series". Basically how to buy a computer. Yeah yeah I'm a dummy... happy? There's still tons of research I gotta do but anyway... have made up my mind. When I go down to SLS tml, will get the tech to define the problem, then get something middle-ranged (but sufficient to handle TS2 of coz!) to replace the damaged parts. Then I shall start saving up for a new system. When I've accumulated about 2k, think it'll be time to go shopping for totally new stuff - new motherboard, CPU... etc. will probably salvage some of Phoenix's better parts though. *shrugx* In the meantime, will do as much research as possible... at least to familiarise myself with the PC jargon. Aargghhh seriously, feels as if I'm studying for some skool test/exam -.-"

Phew - feels good, infusing data into my brain. Of coz I'm nt going into this alone, will try get as much feedback/opinions frm friends who are more knowledgeable. Thanks (in advance)!! For the tips & advice... etc. do appreciate it.

Anyway... itz gonna be true!! Pets are coming to TS2!! WHOOOOOOOOOT!!! Oooooooh I must get Phoenix up and running ASAP so I can tinkle a little on OFB b4 I get Pets!!! Damn, I nvr really did have a chance to play OFB much. Phoenix went down soon after I got it, went back up about a mth later... was busy then, and now... kaput again. LoL looking at things on tha bright side, at least I'll get to replay the families!! Hmm I'll probably start a brand new town this time, and perhaps do a legacy of sorts (ie. Shady Town... where it all started frm Lord ShaDy, modelled after yours truly... kk, am just being lame) - dun wanna mess up the original Maxis families.

Life's always easier bear when u've got 1. someone u love who loves u back, 2. something to do, and 3. something to look forward to. Read that frm one of the Chicken soup books I've been devouring lately - hmm... come to think of it, my life could be worse. Must be thankful... of the things I have. Zzzz...

Shady self-destructed @ 14:04

Tomorrow is D-Day. When I go down to Sim Lim to get Phoenix checked, and probably obtain some new parts for "upgrading". The question now is - what the fuck do I need to look out for? Descriptions on computer parts are simply jargon to me... and I can't possibly do much research, considering that I am alienated frm the Internet back home. Stay over at my parents' place to surf the net for the entire nite? Kinda difficult ehx? I have to go back to Jelapang tonite, much as I don't feel gd stepping into an empty souless place. *shakes head* I'll try gather whatever info I can during wrk hours.

Itz times like this when u wish someone can offer u some tips... but best not to keep hopes too high. Even my own brother told me that he has no idea, and ain't willing to offer any ounce of help - impossible lah, he just can't be bothered coz the PC ain't his & he'd rather be gaming. Wait till his PC konks and see how fast he gets it back up and running again -.-"

LoL thatz kinda expected. Humans are always unwilling to lift a finger when it's a 'troublesome task', and if they don't get anything back in return. Granted that not everyone I know is such (u know who u are), but I daresay like 95% of the population are. Uhmm come to think of it, I'm kinda guilty of such a sin too :P

Must I once again emphasise the need to be independent?! *smacks own head* I need to say this again for self-motivation. Yeah for my entire life I've been pretty dependent on others. Always expecting that there'll be help offered when required. Always hoping that someone will guide me outta certain fixes. Most oftenly I'll count on my parents. But WAKE UP!!! They're aren't gonna be around forever!! I gotta be self-reliant (which is tough when you don't have the bucks). Ookie... now tell me that money doesn't matter. Face it manx!! With $, itz possible to "purchase a persons soul". LoLx so my object of desire in life should be $. Everything else, should be secondary, is that not so?

Maybe my dependability is the reason y I'm still with Ben. I can always get him to help me somehow or other. Need pet supplies but can't possibly carry all that pkts? Well, Ben drives!! (of coz whether he'll have 'ship' or otherwise is another matter) Problems with my bike? Ask Ben... he'll be able to fix simple problems - question is when nia. Need to go JB for a haircut - sooner or later Ben will need go pump his petrol... and if he's broke, he'll need to go with me - that'll be the time that I get my haircut. Washing the toilet and hanging out of laundry? Uhmm leave it to Ben. Clearing of pet tanks - will force him to help. The list simply goes on. *shrugx* Guess thatz y I'm still putting up with his lies and constant siphoning of $. But I gotta ask myself - is this the way I wanna live?

Point of consideration for the day ^-^

Shady self-destructed @ 10:12

Friday, September 22, 2006

Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! Am so bloody tempted to just slam down my wrk on the table, reformat the fucking computer and the get the fuck outta Spring Language School!!! Once again I was helpless as I saw ppl getting cheated. PRC bitch was around, I could do nothing. Jeez, if I was alone, I would have talked the customer outta signing up for the school entry package... coz frankly, Spring ain't efficient when it comes to the task!! Itz just cold calling to the schools, seeking vacancies & then sending the kid for placement tests - that comes with a charge of 2k? Any fella with a phone & yellow pages (or Internet access) in hand will be able to do it!! Still dare to suggest to the customer that Spring has 'connections' with some local skools, that makes things easier. Wah kaox!!

Oh don't you fucking dare ask me a question like - why don't I leave if itz that bad... I can jolly well go MIA and disappear. yah yah I have thought of that, but am still waiting to see if there are any other alternatives. Disappear now and I'll probably not get paid for the entire mth. Disappear now and I might find myself in the midst of the lawsuit, should the PRC toads wanna take my "absence" to court. Before that happens, before I do anything, I gotta make sure my ass is covered. A trip down to MOM is mandatory. Will schedule it sometime either end of this mth or early nxt. I won't be going down alone, thatz certain. Unity is strength. Another reason y I'm still here is coz... am in the midst of gathering incriminating evidence against them. muahahahah it ain't sufficient to get mad, what really matters is to get even!! LoL just hope they don't sack me 1st. =x

*yawn* Anyway if all this nonsense ain't bothering enuff, there's always this 'pressure' frm ppl telling me to do this, and to do that with my life (subtle hints, no doubt - but itz annoying enuff). Eh seriously... who the fuck are you to me, thinking that u can dictate me? Plus uhh... u aren't involved. So enlighten me pls, does it matter to you whether I take 10 years to divorce that s.o.b. or whether I do it within 10 mths? Parents-wise, I understand - itz love. As for others... hmm... yeah, and ur reason will be?

Ack, I ain't even bothered to type e story about Ben's latest lie. He did lie - just a couple of days ago, but thatz all I'm gonna say.

LoL ppl do tend to complain more than express contentment. Itz just human nature. Who the fuck doesn't complain? LoL but why do ppl complain? Good question. Ehhh I do it all the time, and it does help lighten the 'mental load' - u know... yak yak yak... and the rage suddenly isn't all that hard to bear afterall. Think of it as an outlet for frustration. Think of it as a healthy way to organise thoughts. Coz at times... after complaining, one realises that it ain't such a big matter afterall, and suddenly everything becomes clear. *shrugx* Frm what I see, itz always the betta option to complain, than go out and bash someone's face in to release all that pent up rage. LoL as for follow-up action? Well... just put it this way, only if the action is a 100% great idea, only then will I take it. If nt, ahhh just live with it lah. I ain't God. I ain't all that powerful and I sure as hell can't change everything.

See? Humility. LoL and pls don't quote the butterfly effect to refute this claim. I ain't a butterfly either.

Shady self-destructed @ 17:13

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Life really has weird ways of fucking up.

Was looking forward to use the PC in the evening yesterday b4 I depart for my Jelapang tuition - to update my accounting files, download Oz World, upload a couple of pics (yes I finally bought batts for my digicam), and update my blog. After tuition, it was the intention to burn CDs & send out some job applications. All that planning came to nought when Phoenix simply refused to turn on. *sigh* When i pressed the "on" button, there was this weird sound... and thatz it, blank screen all tha way. Yah yah I did turn on my mon & I did ensure that it was plugged in correctly - am not that idiotic.

Thatz it, I guess.

Itz as if the PC has her own ways of telling me that I shouldn't be looking for a new job -.-" Itz just weird that she worked perfectly a week ago when i was merely downloading stuff, watching anime & chatting. Despite that, I still am. And when I get a better paying job, out goes Phoenix. For now, hopefully Ben will be free on Sun to give me a lift to Sim Lim (it'll be horrible if I have to carry the entire tower down taking public transport - taking Harusame is impossible). Itz probably not a software problem again... wonder what is konked now. At the same time, I'll be bringing down the faulty RAM card & check out upgrading prices. *sigh* There goes all my $$ again. As if it ain't bad enuff that my take-home for this month, all jobs combined, will probably just reach 1k.

Fat Cow has officially left this cesspit.

*nod nod* Apparently, her 3-mth probabtion was up. PRC toad had a talk with her - claiming that she ain't suitable for the position of manager, and offered that she can stay to be a 'normal employee', with a gross pay of 1.6k. Zzz... she was supposed to have a gross of 2.5k upon confirmation - and that itself, is a pathetic amt for a Masters Degree holder with experience. According to Fat Cow, PRC toad was telling her - after she's famillar with stuff in 2 mths or so, they'll give me the sack. Now what the fark is that about? Of coz I did suspect that the only reason y I'm still here is coz they haven't found anyone to replace me. Uh uh... one thing for sure, I'm gonna fuck things up real bad over here b4 I go. The PRC crap couple ain't worth any ounce of mercy. Any evil acts committed towards them is morally right. They fucking deserve it. My vengeance will be sweet.

Hmm... u may wonder, why the heck am I complaining considering that I didn't really like Fat Cow in the 1st place? Simple - this is pure injustice. Granted that, to be frank, Fat Cow isn't exactly up to the task; but she makes up for her stupidity with sheer hardwork, staying back after normal hours and all... LoL and yeah I do get pissed when she fucks up, but trust me, she ain't as bad as gayboy. This further reinforces the fact that this is one company that doesn't appreciate an employee's effort... and further justitifies that I'm doing the right thing by slacking off here and there :P

Once I either get Phoenix back up, or get her replaced, I'll be sending in resumes full-force. *nod nod* Despite it being still awhile b4 Nov, my intention is to simply go MIA when the time comes. I dare those PRC imbeciles to demand the compensation frm me. Oh... that doesn't mean that I'm gonna let them off simple if they don't demand that I pay. The authorities will hear about this School. Gd luck to the nxt fella who's wrking here. Ads have been placed since today morn & resumes are coming in. LoL, poor sods.

Shady self-destructed @ 09:30

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Phridae's going home in the evening. +$65 into the home account. I wouldn't even be there to see him off, due to my shift @ TCC tonite. Shucks. Had fun while he was around though. Am pretty glad that bb extended hi stay frm Sat till tonite. Cats are really kewl companions... with exception of their stinky poo!! Sun was the best. Was watching movies on HBO & left Phridae to roam the house. He ended up sleeping just beside me on the sofa. Yeah took a couple of pics using my handfone - itz a shame that my digicam is outta batt. Forgot to purchase batts when I went to JB last nite. Darn! So no pic I guess, till I get the cable that allows me to transfer pics frm Nokia 6111 to PC.

Anyway - took action on my sudden desire to take up Jap lessons again. Emailed both Inoue Language School & JCS. Inoue simply mentioned that I should go down for a placement test & will probably start from Intermediate II while I'll be applicable for Advanced I directly @ JCS. Well... will wait till I receive the brochure frm JCS b4 I make further decisions... the price does matter! As well as the cultural activities that both schools offer. Of coz... I'll self-study a little to try recap as much as I can b4 I'll start lessons. Intention is to start nxt year. JCS's regular course is a year-round thingy. Frm Aug, there's also the option to take up the JLPT prep course, which I will if I'm going ahead for JLPT2.

So whatz holding me back? Well... basically I wouldn't want history to repeat itself - taking classes, only to stop again sometime & forgetting half tat I've learnt -.-" Aarrgghhh but besides frequent practice, how am I gonna retain everything? Seesh it'll be great if I can find a Jap-related job though. But am I gonna be that lucky? I've alredi "failed" @ JAC recruitment, but there are always other job agencies around.

Have once again sent an email to Serena of the SPCA - the volunteer coordinator, asking her about orientation dates for Nov. Hmmm I did mail her a mth or so back but receive zlich response. Hopefully she'll get back to me this time. Will like to have my schedule planned in advanced, u know, something to look forward to ^-^ Am not too sure if I'm gonna be free to do volunteer wrk by then... but am jolly well gonna try my best - perhaps once in a mth. Dun wanna be an 'inactive' volunteer (like I was with the Red Cross). LoL hell, I might just recontact the Red Cross again too - if my plans of having a flexi schedule materialise.

*grinx* There simply seems to be so many things that I wanna do, but don't have sufficient time. Lousy time management, I hear you say? LoL with my current damned schedule, I'll need more than 24hr/day to be able to do everything I want!! Awrite... I've got this problem of making more plans than I can handle... but ah well, my excuse? hahah i do have bipolar disorder afterall >.-

Shady self-destructed @ 10:12

Monday, September 18, 2006

Life is gonna get busier, schedules are gonna be tighter. Kim, the one wrking @lousy language skool - not the slutty one, introed me a S1 NT student who requires tuition for EMS twice a week 1.5hr per lesson. Can't remember the exact payout she quoted, but think its about $200/8 lessons. Location: AMK area. Sounds like not a bad deal. I took it. If nth screws up, I'll be starting classes this Thurs. Hopefully I'll be able to build a certain rapport with the kid & with luck, this will turn out to be a long term assignment that I can hold on to *fingers crossed*. Though I daresay I can only manage to teach till S2 I guess. After that, the Maths & Science may be too difficult for me :P

Yeah I need long-term assignments rite now, as am inclining towards the idea of being a full-time tutor with a perm part-time job. Will need to do some additional calculations b4 making my decision, but should I be able to obtain a sufficient no.of students, this plan might just work... allowing me income to stay afloat and offering the flexibility that I'll enjoy. LoL but I got this gut feeling that am gonna just end up with yet another perm FT job & continue my PTs, slaving my ass away day in & out.

Should I apply to be a teacher with MOE? *shudders* I've always thought of teachers as ppl who are so self-righteous (in their claims) & contradicting (in their actions)... I can't imagine if I shall morph into such a creature someday in the future

Jeez... am totally on a guilt trip rite now. Stayed over @ my parents' place last Sat, and as a result, caused them to incur significant costs. 1st it was the pet food. Was running outta it, so asked them to purchase hamster food at pet's lovers ctr for me. Boy it was expensive!! Gawd, 2 large pkts of Habitrail hamster food at Serangoon Nth = $9, at PLC it was 2 small pkts = $9.70! Seriously if I had known it was that ex, I wouldn't have even thought of getting it frm there! Damn pet store. Hoi... pet owners out there, pls get ur pet supplies elsewhere coz the difference in price is simply way too huge!! 2nd incident happened at Chinatown - have alredi chronicled it in my stitchlog.

Now gotta find some ways to alleviate all that guilt. Yeah yeah, I'm still bacteria feeding on my parents' $$ now and then. Shoot me!! ^-^

Shady self-destructed @ 15:28

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Never thought I would see her again. Someone from my distant past. yesh... that was more than a decade ago. Let me think... the last time I spoke to her was way back in 1994 I guess - the last day of school. The last day of childhood... the last day of P6, in SAC Primary. After that, went our seperate ways and somehow lost contact. LoL like how most ppl lose contact, we simply didn't bother to call or catch up with each other. Itz amazing though, when I saw her yesterday, and she can still read my home telephone no. to me. And she said she can still remember how my mum looks + that I have an annoying little bro. Gee... if I was sensible back then, I would never have lost touch with her.
*grinx* Yeah we've had our times back in P6... daresay, back then, she was the best friend I'd ever had ^-^ Going to recess together, playing games and all... hanging out at each others' place, studying together (I think). Oh, and we were in the same brownie pack!! LoL too bad I can't remember much more than that... primary skool is nth but a fuzzy memory now. But what I do remember is that, we used to just cut a little classes - with teacher's permission of coz - to do those 'brownie tests' just to earn badges. Boy!! Then there was flag raising ceremony, brownie camps, meetings and all :P
Anyway, exchanged hp no.s and I wonder how izzit gonna be in the future. Will the friendship pick up frm there... or will the hp no. just remain a dormant one in my phone. *shrugx* I'll be contacting her for sure - promised that I'll sms her my MSN addy. I don't think it'll be possible for us to meet up and chat like old times... too much time hath passed since childhood, so itz just gonna be awkward, but heyz itz just kewl meeting an old friend =) For that few minutes, I just suddenly felt that I was 12 again. LoL
Well... got both my TCC & language skool pay yesterday. TCC's one in cash ^-^ a measly amount... $120+. *sigh* Am wondering if itz worth all that effort going down, using up energy wrking & then travelling home. Factor in transport & time... is it worthwhile? yeah sure, it does keep me occupied during the evenings - but heck lah, since when did I ever end up with nth to do at home? Arrgghhh must tahan!! F**ked up skool pay was f**ked up, hopefully the cheque was deposited well though. Had some problems stuffing it into the deposit box.. and when I checked, the cheque was kinda stuck there - too far in to pull it out again, and my fingers too fat to stuff it down. Ah well... gotta update my bank book on tues to find out. If nt, itz gonna be a hassle asking china-bitch to rewrite it.

Itz gonna be TCC again tonite, till 1:30am. Ack, I just get so tired simply thinking of it. Hopefully can manage to jio someone out for supper or something... *sigh* just don't feel like going back to Jelapang, though Phridae will be good company ^-^ Yeah Phridae, a kitty that I'm currently pet-sitting. He's supposed to go home today, but dun think anyone will be home for the owner to come over. Guess bb will have to wait till Sunday to take him back. I'll be home on Sun for sure - got tons of 'work' to do. Ahhh.. just when I'm typing this, she sent me an SMS saying that she'll need to extend his stay and take him home on Mon instead. Neat!! Cats are a pleasure to have around the house XD

Hmmm I wonder what possessed me this morn. Went on mIRC when china-bitch was teaching (bet she saw me use it... but she hasn't said anything yet) and actually agreed to a meetup after my shift tonite!! LoL but itz not gonna happen... coz after a few min on MSN, the person's true colors showed & too bad, ain't the kinda folk that I wanna associate with. Moral of the story - hardly like anyone on IRC is decent. Hahah yeah I knew that a long time ago, just wasn't in the right frame of mind earlier.

Am looking forward to tml though. Going down to chinatown with my parents to look @ cross-stitch, and maybe have a bak kut teh lunch. Oh I'm sure the fucknut is gonna complain - but it ain't my fault! He was the one who told me that he ain't gonna be home the entire f**king weekend!! Ah well... apparently his mistress bailed out on him the last min or something. *sniggers* Hope he'll have fun with Phridae!!

Shady self-destructed @ 13:58

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The Arabian Knight

Real cute and handsome ehx? LoL I could never stop wishing that Tigger was still mine. Above is just one of the many pics that were emailed to me these 2 days. Am also glad to hear that Tigger has received his necessary vaccinations frm the vet, and that he behaved really well during the clipping of his nails ^-^ Yes, it is a good thing that Tigger left. Judging frm my schedule lately, I wouldn't have that much time to fuss over him. Neither would I be able to afford vet visitations and all.

Face it, no matter how much I love to own a cat, I ain't ready at the moment. When I am - that is IF I'm still living away frm my parents - I'll probably either take in a stray or adopt a feline frm the SPCA. Not that I'm too cheapo to buy a kitty frm a breeder or pet shop... thing is, it ain't necessary to obtain a pedigree. Besides, those pedigrees alredi have a headstart in their lives... it'll be easier for them to obtain a home, as compared to those in the shelters. My point of view? 1 less cat in the shelters = 1 more space for another = 1 less cat on the streets. Wouldn't that be a win-win situation?

Anyway, pets aside, there are more impt issues that have once again been raised. *sigh* Career lah, what else? Am getting increasingly demoralised wrking here. Just when I started to think that perhaps I might be able to hang on till I find something betta, I've heard frm Fat Cow that China bitch has apparently been talking behind my back - saying that I didn't do this well, didn't do that well. C'mon lah, besides the lack of effort, I daresay everything is done nicely k!! Say what... I didn't key in a person's info into the computer. Ass. When I checked my list, there was the name, keyed twice!! Apparently bitch's eyesight failed @ the precise moment she clicked open the excel file.

This ain't the 1st time such a thing is happening. Her original surname must have been 赖 or something simillar. Always forgetting what she asked another person to do, and when things f**k up, she pushes the blame. Jeez, thankfully I've managed to escape liability a couple of times coz I acutally kept the 'memos' she wrote. Problem is, when she passes on instructions verbally, itz her word vs mine. *shrugx* Itz weird too, that she - being the lady boss, sees a need to backstab us (me & fat cow inclusive). Ahhh well, I'll just place it all down to character flaw. Same problem with the China bastard. She & her hubby does make a wonderful pair. Sucks big time just being here.

Now itz not a matter of to resign or not to resign. I AM resigning. But when can I actually break out of this place? Aaarrrghhhh it doesn't help that finances @ home is getting worse, with Ben once again defaulting payment & yet continue to sap up whatever that's left. The amount is starting to get so huge that I doubt he's ever gonna come up with sufficient $ to repay. Well... anyway since that he has a 'higher paying job' rite now, I'll see how things go. Whether things improve or otherwise these couple of mths. If nt, I'll just pray that I'll get pissed off enuff to actually walk away.

Walking away - just seems bloody cowardly -.-"

Shady self-destructed @ 15:05

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Tutu cakes. An item that I'll always remember as long as I live. Walked past a stall selling it earlier, at $2/5pcs and memories just came back. Rewind about 15 years - back to when I was still in primary school. Back then, every Sat, my dad will take the family swimming @ the Civil Service Club. Thatz around Lavender area. We used to take swimming classes then (though I don't see the logic of it) & I ended up completing the Gold level in Survival Course - don't think I can swim that much now though! Anyway, that ain't the good part. The good parts come after the swim ^-^

After the mandatory shower, me and my bro will head to the video games arcade to play the Ninja Turtles game. LoL me using Raphael or Donatello, while my bro is standard - with Leonardo. At that time, it was merely 20 cents per game... and we could go on for a long long time with that amount. Yeah, we were good!! Hahah normally, our fave makan place after it all will be the hawker at Whampoa where we'll have hokkien mee, chicken wings & a nice cool cup of coconut. But occasionally, we'll head down to Parkway Parade... yeah the shopping ctr that kids brought up in the early 80s would know well.

It'll be dinner @ the "food court" just beside the arcade, some more video games and we'll be off for desert. Desert normally consists of Yami Yogurt - peachie, and tutu cakes XD Phew ~ I didn't think much about it at that time, plus I never expected all those to be so deeply etched in my mind. But yeah... I'll never forget those times. All it needs now, is for the scent of tutu cakes to come wafting over, and all I wanna be is a child again.

Itz been a long time since I last stepped foot into the shopping centre. Things should have changed by now. I wonder if the arcade's still there. I know the hokkien mee stall at whampoa is though, and the drinks stall that sells those neat coconut stuff. But guess those things will just gradually disappear in time, leaving behind memories rooted so deeply that will probably never go away. Damn. How time hath flew since then =)

The brain is such a wonderful hard disk ^-^

Shady self-destructed @ 13:51

Friday, September 08, 2006

Talk of the town (and the entire country) these days should be death of Steve Irwin a.k.a. the Crocodile Hunter. Such an irony, isn’t it? That he should be fatally struck by what the wished to protect. I ain’t gonna bother going into details about his death – most of you guys would have known the lowdown anyway... either via word of mouth or watching animal planet or whatever, but just in case you don't, u can take a look at this.

Well, I ain't gonna spend an entire blog entry talking about how great a guy he was, yadda yadda, this ain't my point. Plus, to be frank, I ain't a huge fan of him to begin with. Sure, I admired what he accomplished in his life and I do agree that he's a great guy, considering his contribution to wildlife... but uhm, really, I ain't a fan. In fact I was pretty put off by tha' way he hosts his shows on Animal Planet - I'd rather watch Animals A-Z, Growing up Wild, Honda Insights or Attenbrough Presents anytime. Of coz... my fave prog. on AP is still Animal Rescue, especially the one about cell dogs. Yes yes, I am a sucker for happy endings, alright? ^-^

Woops! OT (as usual) – pardon that.

My main issue regarding Steve’s death is... can everyone just stop talking about it alredi? Itz all over on pet forums, MSN... and probably even on mIRC. LoL yes, especially those who haven’t watched any of his programs, or even Animal Planet for that matter!! *looks around* I daresay that most folks who placed a turtle beside their MSN nick don’t even tune in to the channel. They are simply jumping on the bandwagon, a seemingly popular activity of Singaporeans, and included the emote on their nick just coz their friends told them so. For what? Beats me. I guess those folks mentioned just wish to show that they are actually "in" to gain acceptance frm their peers, or just to look 'cool' ). Alright, it may simply be a gesture of respect. That, I don't begrudge you. But for the rest, kindly do everyone a favour, and shut the f**k up.

Went out for dinner with Sy yesterday, and browsed ard Kino for a bit. Didn't pick up any cross-stitch mags as I expected to... basically coz the covers didn't capture my attention enuff (now tell me not to judge a book by it's cover!). Hmm... caught sight of this above average guy @ Scotts food court while makaning. Sy was looking at him too... in fact she spotted him 1st, and her stare caused me to turn my head - hahaha, now don't deny it! Come to think of it, that guy looks pretty familliar. Think he should be an actor or sumthing. *shrugx* Walking ard Far East, passing by Primitive Tattoo was a bad move. LoL my skin just feels kinda 'itchy' now, in need of further pain. Looked @ myself in the mirror these days and am starting to feel my tattoos are pretty small -.-"

Anyway, lately I've been consuming gallons of Chicken Soup for the Soul - borrowed the books frm the recently opened Bishan Library. Looking for inspiration in life maybe... but most likely itz used to calm my evil nature - to remind me that perhaps there is good in the world, and that there are some things worth hanging on to in life. I wouldn't say those stories taught me tons... I'm still in the stage whereby I just injest w/o digesting, but I daresay some of those tales brought tears to my eyes... and this weird constricting feeling around the heart. Well... call those stuff hogwash or whatever, but you can't deny that it makes a good read on tha' MRT - much better than the depressing stories found in the newspapers!! There is just so much negative thoughts a person brain can contain. Time for me to try even it out somehow.

Shady self-destructed @ 17:37

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Gosh! I just realised today that the price of Texas 5 increased further! Itz $9.80 now instead of $9.60 the last time I bought it (approx. a mth or so ago). This is f**ked, totally. Initially I thought that only the prices for more "branded" ciggies - ie. Marlboro, Pall Mall - went up. *shakes head* Seriously if there's a good time to quit smoking, this will be it. But somehow I just can't summon sufficient willpower to do so rite now. I don't suffer from any withdrawal symtoms except slight restlessness and a higher-than-usual irritation mode, so what the hell is stopping me?

Reflection: the 5 top times when I puff

1. Normally... when I leave the house, I'll reach for a ciggie. If itz an off day, then after my 1st meal/snack or while waiting for the PS2/PC game to load.

2. When I'm crapping my ass off in the loo, depending on whether itz a short or long poo.

3. After a meal... I normally light up, while having my drink. Itz a kinda detox activity - this most smokers will understand. A meal just doesn't seem complete w/o a ciggie at the end of it!! Hmm... come to think of it, I felt tha same way with coke, but somehow managed to wean myself of it... so yeah, this part may be easy if I'm able to obtain a "substitute".

4. Restless times - eg. when I need to discuss matters on the phone (especially with Ben), waiting for someone, waiting for a bus, warming up my bike... etc.

5. When Ben lights up beside me.

Looking @ my list, it's evident that I smoke to 'waste time'. One method to cut down on cigarettes, as compared to a total quit, is to reduce "spare time". Normally, when I get home, I'm less inclined to smoke as compared to when I'm out - working or otherwise - basically coz I'll be busy... either gaming away or cross-stitching. The only times when temptation strikes is when I'm watching anime, and this character lights up, or when something I watched puts me into deep thought. I ain't gonna go into the bullshit that smoking makes me think better. On the contary, it decreases my ability to think, pushing the needless thoughts away frm my mind. Plus deep breathing that comes with smoking does have a weird calming effect, especially when pissed.

Well... I ain't gonna stop smoking at this very instant, despite all that I've typed, namely coz I bought a new pkt of ciggies this very morning and am unwilling to just throw them all away or give it to some undeserving goon back home. My only 'hope' is the period of employment to come - that is if it comes. Should Nov 06 be my last day of wrking @ this lousy school, I'll be taking a couple of weeks off to just rot at home, aside frm wrking part-time at TCC & attending the tuition lessons. Less time outta the house will mean more times that my hands are occupied with either gaming or stitching... so there is a probability that I could use that period to start weaning myself off ciggies with... sweets (either that orange gummy or ricola pearls) of coz, what else?

Tons of folks I know have tried & failed, yet there are few who been there, done that. Lucky fellas! Will I succeed? *shrugx*

Anyway, got my baby home on Mon. It was a disappointment. The paintwork didn't turn out as wonderful as I expected it to be - should have opted for full black, goddamnit. The lion head ain't well defined, and well... he just looks too... silvery. But ah well... ain't gonna bother about it much more. Am just gonna get used to Harusame's new look. It'll be betta once I add a couple of stickers & a oil tank "shield" (dunno what exactly thatz called".

Arrgghhh but seems like my troubles are far frm over. There's a weird sound emitting frm tha' front tyre. Am popping ovr to check it out ltr after wrk - which means delaying my tuition, eating into my rest time. Hopefully it isn't too huge of a problem aka. hopefully it wouldn't cost too much to rectify whatever it is this time. Am suspecting that it should be either the brake disc, wheel alignment or bearings. Ben mentioned that he'll be able to fix the problem for me, once itz defined. But should I trust him?

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

Shady self-destructed @ 16:09

Monday, September 04, 2006

*klack klack klack* Those sounds never cease to annoy me when I hear them - and I DO hear them, on a daily basis. The noise caused by women who are wearing slipper like shoes with heels. Yep. Itz different from the *klock klock klock* sounds of formal heels (aka formal black shoes with stilettlos)... itz sharper, more distict and no to mention, more irritating. Itz worse when the stairs are involved. Problem is - those damned things are popular among women these days. Itz really tempting to just trample on those wrinkled feet as they hurry past... or stick out a well-covered foot of my own to trip those clowns. It'll be kinda satisfactory to see them topple down the stairs. LoL

Oh yeah, another thing. Most of the above-mentioned women, do not go for pedicures. Exposing weather beaten feet covered with dried skin and having unpainted toenails is a definite no no. I've got the same disdian with feet that are painted horribly. Hahaha I don't go for pedicures either. But guess what? I don't wear such goddamned slippers!! At the most, it'll be sandals... and well, ugly feet are okay with sandals.

Yep, I've got something against that kinda footwear.

Anyway, met up with a friend yesterday for a talk, to discuss my options and all. There was an option that's particularly tempting, but that doesn't seem morally right. Then again, looking at it frm another point of view, it takes 2 hands to clap (unless u choose smacking ur hand against the wall or some other hard surface) so itz a thought worth considering. But everything will require $, so it might still be wiser to settle my wrking life b4 anything else. Ending up heavily in debt after all that isn't the exit I want.

Speaking about debt, hmm the bills are gonna snowball again this mth, coz once again Mr. Show-off will default payment. LoL he claimed that he wouldn't, and that he'll make partial payment to the home account at least. Frm what I think, I'll be thankful if he doesn't borrow anymore, and settle whatever he owes me personally 1st! Reason for his 'failure'? Road tax for car is due this mth. $700+, and the impotent loser ain't up to tha task.

*sigh* I'll be in the red this mth too, after I make payment for the bike - gotta watch my savings dwindle helplessly. Hopefully I'll be able to make up for the difference in the following mths. I have to. In the meantime, to 'force' more savings & further tighten my financial strings, I'm contemplating getting a POSB SAYE account. Plus I gotta find a day to have a chat with my dad, to see what ideas he has. Well yeah u may call me reckless - thinking of ways to "invest" when I don't even have $ to get by comfortably... but thatz the main reason y I'm exploring options now. To maximise what I have for the long term. I wouldn't wanna end up alone & broke in my twillight years k!! The 'alone' part I can't do shit lah, but at least, I can prevent the 'broke' part frm happening. LoL

But the 1st challenge now is - to get past today. 12pm, and if feels as if I've been here for an entire day. So exhausting -.-" Think am gonna go grab Long John's for lunch later. Considering that itz the skool hols, it should be less crowded... eh? *fingers crossed*

Shady self-destructed @ 12:05

Sunday, September 03, 2006

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous) High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High
Level 7 (Violent) Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Very High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Nice... but doesn't make much sense to me, does it? I don't think I should be 'down there' alogn with the "violent", "assassins"... etc. For those who have known me for a long time. Since when did I ever have displays of violence? LoL of coz, i'll glady punch members of Tampines town council who are responsible for the recent cat culling operations. And yes, they deserve what's coming to them.

Shady self-destructed @ 15:21

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Once again, a brain overload took place during the MRT ride to wrk earlier - even though I tried hard to prevent it by doing cross-stitch & periodic SMSes. Shame though, cross-stitch doesn't take too much brains nor concentration, so my cerebral processing unit auto-booted up. Need I say more? LoL

The 1st thought that came to my mind was what I overheard yesterday evening, when I was exiting frm City Hall MRT. This girl behind me was talking to a male friend (bf maybe) of hers. She claimed that she used to be fat... I was thinking "ah ookie". Then she went on to mention that at her heaviest, she was like 48kg. Immediate thought that flashed into my mind: WTF?! It was then I turned to look @ her, she's definitely taller than me, around 1.6m I guess... and she said such a thing? Oh yah definitely, thatz one bimbo. That guy? Not much betta in terms of evolution progress - he commented something that went like - whoah, that heavy? Heavy? Really? You judge for urself. I used to weight 46kg at my heaviest, just 2kg lower than what the girl claimed was "fat"... and I'm only 1.53m. Tell me, did I ever look fat to you? It'z a healthy BMI range for gawd's sake!!

*shakes head* This is one example of how women are killing themselves. Perhaps women deserve no respect frm men afterall - since they are contributing to their own demise by conforming to standards set by the intellectually inferior gender (guys, u may protest @ this comment, but think b4 u do - tell me... how often do u think with that big head of urs, as compared to the little one?). But come to think of it further... if women are listening to men, torturing themselves in the process, doesn't it make women even more stupid? Wahahahaha ~ yah some women may argue that they just wanna "look good", u know... putting on makeup, wearing heels and all... hmm... but wait a min! Who's standard of "looking good" is that in the 1st place? Influence by the media maybe, though I daresay most women have been conditioned since childhood.

A childhood when fat kids are shunned & made to feel 'different' with the TAF programme and all. Not to mentioned, fat kids are normally the butt of jokes. As a result normal-sized kids are affected as well, as they swear never to get "fat". Things just worsen in teenage years when the guys just seem to gravitate towards those pretty little things (aka. super hiao girls), who are never... you guessed it, fat.

Ookie - try this. Got it frm something I read, can't remeber if it was Reader's Digest or TNP. Place punctuation marks in the sentence as you see fit: Woman without her man is nothing [will get back to this ltr].

Body mass aside, another issue of women came to my mind afterwhich. The place of women in society. In Singapore, it shouldn't be too bad... though the world is still a patriarchal society. In 3rd world countries, itz worse. Read an article on a back-dated issue of "Time" - about this girl who was gang-raped just coz her brother dared to date someone frm a higher caste. Apparently, it was a village 'court judgement' with jury frm the offended group. It was mentioned that they came to the conclusion to get even. 3 men raped her repeatedly while a 4th looked on. Afterwhich, she was made to walk home, halfway thru' town, barely clothed. Of coz eventually she got compensated for it when the case went up to the higher authorities... she received slightly more than 8k, if I ain't wrong. Nothing compared to the trauma she would have experienced in the entire process.

What nonsense is that? Why does she have to pay for a "crime" that her brother commit. Is that even a crime to begin with?

Yeah, I know, there's probably nth I can do about such things, due to it being outside my area of direct influence, and perhaps some may point out, that itz pointless to get pissed by such matters. But hmm who can read such stuff & yet remain n a netural state of mine? Especially when u are a female.

Speaking of area of influence. Wish I was there when the hit-n-run accident involving a JRT took place. I didn't see this 1st hand, Ben told it to me. He was this JRT wandering around Jelapang Rd, parked his car on the side and was trying to take it away frm danger when this car came up... flashed a couple of times @ the poor pooch and then proceeded to knock it down with a loud thud. The mutt was dragged along for a distance, rolled a little, then got up and walked away. Usha, a neighbour, saw the JRT's dead body a day later.

Trust me, if I was there, I would have done something Ben nvr had the sense to do. Identify the car & make a police report... pronto. If the police refused to give me much attention due to it being an 'animal case', I would have taken that issue up with the SPCA and attempted to write-in to the papers.

Such acts shouldn't be ignored. Apparently some ppl are just aren't brought up right. *sigh* So many abandoned animals out there, so little homes for them. Wish I could adopt a cat I caught sight of on the pets forum. He's a 2 year old, dominantly black fella, with certain parts of white on his body. According to those taking care of him, he's even natured, litter trained, non-destructive & loves being hugged. An ideal companion for my nights alone @ home. But itz a shame, I can't take him.

I'm alredi trying to find homes for the little rodents I have, just in case, I would need to give them away - due to my current personal situation. Unfortunately, response hasn't been encouraging. Most folks just don't want the responsiblity... lol, can't blame them for that, coz they are a handful (both literally & otherwise). Do appreciate their response though, even if it's a "no". Anyway, seems like I'm doomed to remain at Bt. Panjang for another couple of years, till the population dwindles naturally to a movable size. Then again, there's always the option of moving back w/o them, and only popping over on alternate days to top up their food & water. Would I have time for that?

All well... back to the woman thingy. So how did you folks punctuate the sentence? Mine definitely goes: Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

Shady self-destructed @ 09:37

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page

Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.
In Progress

Dark Cloud 2
Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts II
Wild Arms 3

In Queue

Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
Dark Cloud
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Grandia III
Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
Persona 3
Rogue Galaxy
Rule of Rose
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Shadow Hearts: From The New World
Shining Force Neo
Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Soul Cradle [Jap]
Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
Suikoden IV
Suikoen V
Tales of the Abyss
Wild Arms Alter Code: F
Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

Ar tonelico II [?]
Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Digimon World Data Squad
Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
Drakengard
Drakengard 2
Dual Hearts
Elvandia Story [?]
Ephemeral Fantasia
Eternal Ring
Evergrace
Forever Kingdom
Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
Growlanser Generations
Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
Jade Cocoon 2
Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
MS Saga: A New Dawn
Musashi Samurai Legend
Odin Sphere
Okage: Shadow King
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Radiata Stories
RPG Maker 2 [?]
RPG Maker 3 [?]
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
Shining Force Exa
Shining Wind [?]
Shining Tears
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Steambot Chronicles
Summoner
Summoner 2
Tales of Destiny [?]
Tales of Destiny II [?]
Tales of Legendia
Tales of Rebirth [?]
Tales of Symphonia [?]
The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
Tsugunai: Atonement
Unlimited Saga
Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
Wild Arms 5 [?]
Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
.hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
.hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
.hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
.hack//Infection Part 1
.hack//Mutation Part 2
.hack//Outbreak Part 3
.hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

Grandia II
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
Legend of Legia II
Shadow Hearts
Silent Hill 2
Suikoden III

Trash Bin

7 Sins
Urbz: Sims in The City
Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...

+ A r c h i v e s +

02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007
03/01/2007 - 04/01/2007
04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
05/01/2007 - 06/01/2007
06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007
09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
02/01/2008 - 03/01/2008
03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008
04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
05/01/2008 - 06/01/2008
06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009

+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

Layout by Kuroda