Contradictory Ramblings Version 2.0

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

Fade to Black - Metallica

Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The incidents that took place these couple of days must have given me some sorta brain damage or something simillar -.-" I went to McDonald's for lunch awhile ago, despite that an "extra value meal" will widen the hole in my pocket. If that ain't enuff... during a puff outside J8, was approached by a guy seeking donations. Talked to me about some girl who had to undergo eye surgery... etc. and other casualties (brain wasn't functioning too well so I didn't catch what exactly he said) and I actually made a donation!! $2. It wasn't too much, but heyz, that could buy me a plate of rice for lunch!!~!

Thatz so totally outta character. Normally, I don't even donate a single cent to human charities - though I wouldn't think twice about contributing $2 if the volunteer was frm the SPCA. Jeez... plus I'm on such a tight budget rite now, after much thought, it was a bad idea to give up that note. *sigh* I know I know, my plight isn't as bad compared to those other ppl the money is going to. Thing is - I should have goddamned asked more about the organisation! What percentage of that $2 is going to actually HELP the needy, and what % of it goes to "administrative" fees.

Call me a cynic if you must. I've lost my faith in charity organisations a very very long time ago. They are businesses at the end of the day. They will need to make $ and profits to stay afloat. Dun gimme the shit that those organisations do good. Yes, they do benefit the needy in a way... I'm just saying that more could have been done should the donations go directly to the folks well-being.

Anyway - this "problem" with me seemed to have started a while back. LoL with the cross-stitch thingy I was doing. Weird huh? The way how some ppl change as time passes. Heh, think I would need some charity myself too. Been absent for wrk too many times this mth. Am on 1/2 day leave tml as well. There goes my salary. *shrugx* I just hope that this "sacrifice" will prove itself worthwhile. 2 interviews lined up on Wed & I attended one yesterday. Ah well with some luck I'll be outta there by nxt mth :P

First settle the financial, then the emotional.

It'll be miracle if I don't suffer a mental breakdown.

Shady self-destructed @ 14:29

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Went to a wake last nite. Of someone I didn't know - one of Ben's suppliers frm another company. A young girl, in her twenties - as I found out. Apparently she has been ill for sometime, taking different medicines @ a go, and eventually passed away due to lung failure. It was a boring affair as I didn't know anyone there except Ben. Highlight of the nite was when an old lady, that was later revealed as the dead girl's grandaunt, was ushered in by other relatives. The old lady could barely stand... but made her way to the girl's coffin to take a look at her. It was then she broke down and started sobbing. So did a couple of her relatives. Raw emotions were display. Folks with tears running down their cheeks, talking about the past... etc. None of the "emo" thatz normally depicted in movies though - all those wailing and hugging the coffin. But it was a sombre & depressing affair.

I started to think about my wake. Though technically I'm too young to die, and I'll probably live for another half century but life is unpredictable. There might never be a tomorrow and there is not knowing when a person will just descend into eternal slumber. I didn't look at the dead body - but what others mentioned, it's just as if she was sleeping. Perhaps only death will bring the rest I so eagerly seek. Perhaps only then I'll finally be at peace. It makes me wonder though... will anyone shed tears when I die? Will anyone even attend my wake coz they want to, and not coz they have to due to family obligations. How would my coffin look and what will I be buried with... who will I be leaving behind?

Itz a scary thought - that on one will be there for me when I cross over. That no one will even bother with my wake and funeral. That no one will even care, should I depart. Well... maybe death wouldn't be such a bad thing for me. I'm kinda bored with living and death should bring something new. But... I still have unfinished tasks and I don't really mind playing the game of Life slightly longer - clutching the hope that somehow, there'll be changes along the way & that the game will become interesting all over again.

Hmm... where does a person go when he/she dies anyway? Christians believe that they'll go to heaven as a reward - and that non-Christians will go to Hell. The typical Chinese belief is that souls will go to Hell where they'll be judged - eventually everyone gets reincarnated after drinking the soup of Forgetfulness - erasing memories of their past life. Perhaps, death is scary coz it means a final farewell. Permanant parting with those you hold near to you. *shrugx* I don't know. If there should be a next life, I would wanna be with the people whom I hold dear in this lifetime once again. It's never easy to say goodbye... especially when you're unsure if the goodbye is gonna mean forever.

You know, I would really love to see my dead pets once again.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:44

Saturday, June 24, 2006

.: Significance of a gift :.

Klara grew up in an average-income family. Her dad was a middle-management worker in a private company, bringing home the dough; while her mum has always been a homemaker, running the household and bringing up the kids. Klara's 4 other siblings have grown up too - one after another. She was the eldest child. A university graduate, a soft-spoken homely girl... in the eyes of others, Klara was the perfect child.

There were 2 men in her life. Royston, the typical English-speaking rich boy who drives around in a red Ferrari; and Ryan, someone who grew up "the hard way" and can barely manage to make ends meet, much less afford his own vehicle.

Klara was torn between the 2.

Royston can probably give her everything she ever wanted - everything that can be purchased by $. Considering that he's "helping out" with his dad's company, he can spend all the time he wants with her. Hell, he only goes to the office when he feels like it. Most oftenly, he can be found hanging out at pubs with his other rich buddies or indulging in expensive hobbies such as wakeboarding. If Klara goes with Royston, she'll not have to worry about anything else for the rest of her life... she will live the life of a rich tai tai and not work a single day. She'll even forget what housework means.

For Klara's 21st birthday, Royston bought her a stunning diamond necklace with earrings to match and took her for dinner the day before at a posh restaurant. On the day itself, he went clubbing with his friends, and didn't meet up with Klara. She only received an SMS late in the night, wishing her a belated birthday.

Ryan? A sick bed-ridden mother, a sparsely furnished 3-rm HDB flat, Ryan works 2 jobs just to pay the bills. Ryan can never ever provide Klara with the life every girl secretly wishes to lead. He can probably only spend a couple of hours a week with her, due to his hectic job schedule. However, there is no questioning Ryan's dedication to Klara. He spends every single spare minute with her and makes an effort to call her at least once a day. He gave up time with his friends, he gave up time for himself, at times he even sacrifices a couple of sleeping hours just to extend his date with her.

For Klara's 21st birthday, Ryan could only afford to buy her a single stalk of rose. He had to work late on her birthday, and only managed to get a McDonald's take away, which he took a cab to send it down to her before he left for his shift.

----------------------

I poorly written story, this I know. Am having writer's block today but there is an issue running ard in my mind. Question is - who will u choose? Royston or Ryan? LoL nopex, I ain't torn between 2 guys... I'm just wondering about sacrifice in a r/s. Would your rather be with someone who can spend loads of time with you - coz that person is uber free, or would u appreciate the person who spends all the time he/she can with you. Simillar question - a poor man donates $10 to the handicapped... which is all the $ he has Vs a rich man who throws $100 into the donation box. Which gift means more?

If u'd ask me. I'll say, quantity doesn't matter. Itz the quality that does.

Shady self-destructed @ 15:53

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A woman named Rose, desperate to find her child Sharon, finds herself trapped in an alternate dimension as she searches for her daughter in a world of decay inhabited by strange beings. Over the prote...(read more )sts of her husband, she flees with her child, heading for an abandoned town to which the child seems drawn. Sharon disappears in the town, and Rose follows what she thinks is her daughter's silhouette into what seems like an alternate reality. It's soon clear this place is not like anywhere she's ever been. It's smothered by fog, inhabited by a variety of strange beings and periodically overcome by a living Darkness that literally transforms everything it touches. Joined by Cybil, a local police officer, Rose searches for her little girl while learning the history of the strange town and realizing that Sharon is just a pawn in a larger game.

- Synopsis on Flixster

Basically I loved the way the movie brought back memories of a different time... memories of my past... when I was still with a particular someone and hanging out with a particular group of friends. That was during my poly days... and a little while after that [SH2]. I gotta admit though, SH2 was the farthest I've got in terms of playing the game. SH3 & 4 are still in my game-disc file - untouched. LoL yeah perhaps itz coz I don't have the nerve to play it alone in the midst of the nite. Perhaps there are other games that hold my attention. Think the main reason is coz I no longer live with my brother.

*nod nod* My brother played a significant role in Silent Hill gaming. Not only coz he was the one beside me, gripping his pillow in the dark - illuminated by merely the TV screen. Namely coz - he was the one shooting at the monsters. LoL I admit. I suck when it comes to shooting. Just never did get a hold of the controls. Most oftenly, I'll attack the monsters by using a pole or my favourite weapon... the axe. Hack hack hack... monster falls... STOMP!! The creepiest part of the game is the atmosphere - the setting, to be exact (SH gamers will understand). The part that made me hold my breath? The loading screen in-between the opening of doors to another room. You'll never know what you'll see.

Anyway, back to nostalgia. The monsters were the main memory jerkers... and yes, Cybil the police officer. That was in SH1. SH1 began with a car accident too - leaving the main character, male, waking up in Silent Hill realising that his daughter, Cheryl, was gone. He visits certain buildings in SH... the school (with the freaky clocktower), the hospital, the fairground... etc. and unravels a sinister plot linked to a symbol found in the game. Kinda like the movie huh? Another element frm the game is the static on Rose's handphone & walkie talkie Cybil held when monsters are nearby. Everytime I heard that sound while playing, I instinctively pressed 'pause' and handed the controller over to my bro. Hahaha but heyz it was delightful to see the big guy with the big knife once again! That dood appeared in SH2. I still remember when I managed to defeat him, and get hold of the knife. Boy was the game character panting, moving at a snail's pace while dragging the knife behind him. Then there were the "nurses"... and the creatures I call, the "black babies".

The movie itself was delightful - though not half as scary as I expected it to be. Ah well... after u've played the game, the movie is nothing to you... coz you pretty much know what is to be expected. The blood, the monsters, the gore, the fog surrounding the town... yadda yadda.

In Silent Hill: The movie, Evil wasn't really evil afterall. It was just a poor innocent girl, tortured by her prosecutors who developed hate and sought revenge over time. Brings to mind the days of the Inquisition - the only difference is that, in history, it was the Christians who were guilty of sin... in the movie, itz a made-up religion. The fantanic dumb folks who burned witches at the stake. Must I remind you that the women were humans? Forced to confession by bloody torture devices that included thumbscrews. Accused by the very people they knew their entire life. Shame to the villagers back then! Ironic, isn't it? Senseless violence in the name of God. I wonder how did God react to that. Did those Christians find their place in heaven after all they have done?

It just doesn't seem fair, if they did - coz supposedly Jesus Christ died to redeem mankind frm sin. But I ain't gonna go into another religious debate [coz religion is a sensitive topic afterall]. I'll just stick to my own belief of karma. I believe that the Good will be rewarded, and the Evil punished. Then again, good and evil is subjective... so itz pretty much a grey area. LoL but know what? The more I think about it, the further I'll probably get frm the answer (which I'll never know btw), so I shall stop.

Ain't even gonna bother blogging about my day.

Shady self-destructed @ 21:50

Monday, June 19, 2006

I took urgent leave frm work again today - only notified the principal at 8:30am. Interestingly, I had reached Bishan by then. In fact, I was standing in front of the building, but I decided not to make the 3-storyed climb. Well... one reason is coz my jeans were totally soaked after travelling in the rain. Another reason is, uhm, I just didn't feel like turning up. It was supposed to be my 1st day wrking with the new manager. Pooh! The thought of it is a total turn-off. It was alredi bad wrking there. Now I've gotta face someone who's totally... ugh... someone whom I definitely can't click with.

This is the 3rd day I've been absent this mth. The Cheenas must be displeased by now. About me giving such short notice. *sigh* Seriously, they can sack me for all I care. The only reason y I'm still there is coz I need the $. I really am gonna be in deep shit if I lose this job and don't find another within the month. I wonder what is in store for me when I turn up tomorrow. A termination letter perhaps? Hmm but judging frm their greed... I don't think they gonna end my contract that easy. They'd rather I pay them the 2k to leave. Besides... there's no real reason to fire me, is there? I had an MC to cover for the past 2 days. Yeah I know, I've been kinda irresponsible on my part. But seriously... I'm just totally brain-dead now. I dread even climbing up the stairs every morn.

Anyway, I didn't exactly waste the entire day. Went back to my parents place. Browsed thru' today's and Sat's Recruit section and did a few job applications; signed up with JAC recruit; played with the cat; pened a new POSB account (for easier transactions between my personal account & the home account - will leave the OCBC one purely for savings); went on a Cross Stitch magazine frenzy & had a loooong chat with my mum. Itz just too bad that I gotta go for tution in awhile. I would dearly have loved to stay there a little longer - or even perhaps spend the night. Am just feeling so... drained.

LoL guess that happens when you don't have a path in life. When there's no fuel for the fire. And when everything seems to be just another routine. When everything you do doesn't seem enough & when happiness only lasts an instant. My flame is just flickering in the wind... burning half-heartedly.

I'm so... tired.

Shady self-destructed @ 18:54

Friday, June 16, 2006

Had a great dinner. Pasta with mushroom bolognaise sauce, deep fried chicken wings & wedges + campbell's creamy chicken mushroom. XD Gee... food always does tastes betta self-cooked. The only drawback is the washing up after it all. But ah well... no pain, no gain! Came close to burning the pasta once again though LoL.

Anyway, watched episode 3 & 4 of Prison Break Season 1 while injecting fuel into my body... and there's one weird thing that I noted. Am getting increasingly attracted to the main star of the series - Wentworth Miller. To think that initially, my 1st impression of him was kinda negative. He just looks like the typical pretty-boy boyband member. Skinny little fella though. Thing is, I find him more and more attractive as I watch on. LoL guess it does help that in the series he sports a beautiful tattoo. The close shaved head is a bonus too. Seen a pic of him with hair on the official webby and I must say - bleahhhh!! Hahaha had the same reaction when I saw a pic of Orlando Bloom outside the LOTR costume.

- Miller, tattoos & all -

Pretty boy aside, Prison Break is one interesting series. Kudos to InFlames for introducing it to me. *grinx* Am gonna trust that guy frm now onwards. To date, he hasn't introduced me anything "lousy" yet - frm music, to anime, to drama.

*yawn* I still can't get to grips that am gonna work a full day tomorrow. Itz a Saturday - for crying out loud! Ugh... and itz Vanessa's last day. Pity. I daresay that she's someone that I can be friends with, somewhere down the road. Hopefully we'll manage to keep in contact after this. She's like 4 years my junior, but she has been nice to banter with for the past 2 weeks. Hopefully the feeling is mutual :P

Damn damn damn... that aunty is coming on Mon. I foresee long deary days ahead - I just hope she isn't as much of a fuck-up as I deem her to be. Am gonna place 1st impressions aside when I actually work with her on Mon. Pointless to let negative feelings cloud my judgement of a person. Hell, she might turn out to be someone to be wonderful with! But in the meantime... I'd rather look on the "dark" side. I've always been a pessimist anyway. Ain't gonna change that part of me at least.

Shady self-destructed @ 22:45

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Gone thru' my budget planning last nite at my parents place and realised that I made a slight mistake in data entry - apparently I have yet to enter tution fees as an "input". Hmm... will redo it when I get home tonite, and hopefully it'll state that I'm not as badly in the red as I think I am. With luck, I'll still remain in the green & am able to afford this mth's issue of Q&E and Cross Stitcher. Weird though. Called Kino just yesterday and apparently the mags have yet to arrive. It should have been on the shelves a week ago! I hope it ain't sold out! Have got my eye on the f.o.c. kits which will make great gifts for my parents this X'Mas! LoL yeah yeah u can say that I'm planning ahead :P

Well I might just be staying overnite at my parents' place this Thurs. Ben was saying that he has overnight ships to attend to, so he's telling me nt to come home. Interesting ehx? There might be more to it than meets the eye, but know what? Am gonna just ignore it for now. Mind is pre-occupied with other matters. Will discuss it with my dad the nxt time I see him, and hopefully I'll be able to make up my mind by then.

Hell... what am I talking about? I've alredi made up my mind. I'm getting the f**k outta this damned company. The questions are - should I leave b4 I get another job or otherwise, and how should I leave. Tender my resignation & continue to wrk for them for another mth & reimburse them the 2k? A bit lugi on my part rite? I'm toying with the idea of just going MIA after the previous mth's salary is banked in. Yeah... that'll mean that I'll probably have to forfeit 2 weeks worth of salary, but itz betta than paying 2k! Ben was suggesting that I just talk to the boss and inform him that I ain't got $ to pay the amt, and insist that he pays me for another mth that I'm staying. Not that great an idea, frm my point of view. That mainlander is one unreasonable bastard. It'll never be a totally win-win situation for me. I wouldn't want him to confiscate my entire 1 1/2 mths pay!

Of coz, if I do what I'm dying to do - just leave w/o fuss & sending him my resignation via email + taking the entire mth of unpaid leave, I gotta be prepared that he'll hire a lawyer to sue me. Frankly, I'm not 100% confident of my chances. One thing is in my favour though - the contract. Itz mentioned on the contract that itz signed for the position of "manager". However, for the past few mths, my payslip carries the title of "secretary". Does that make the contract void in the eyes of the law? By right, a new contract should be drafted and signed with a change of position, ain't it so? Dunno siahx! Must think...

Anyway my limit bar is increasing by the day - so think itz really soon that I snap and just say to hell with the damned china ppl. My new colleague Vanessa has tendered her resignation and will only be here for another mth max. Today, boss Cheena hired a new staff - some aunty -.-" who was super despo for the job. For the past few weeks, she kept sending in her resume, calling the boss & even dropping by personally... as if she's begging. Duh. She seems like a person who is totally "on the ball", stiff & rigid - unbearable to wrk with. Zzz and he's paying her 2k if I ain't mistaken. Have yet to spy on the contract (though I don't really give a shit). What totally ticked me off was their conversation earlier during the "interview". Boss Cheena was saying that she will be an asset to the company coz currently the staff he has are "below standard"... and that it ain't appropriate to hire someone who is merely a poly grad... etc. coz they aren't smart enuff to handle matters.

Well. I ain't a poly grad. But I used to be one. Comments like this totally push my buttons the wrong way. Hello? Whatz the problem with a poly grad? Itz not as if the job is difficult and needs a brainy person to do it. Tell me lah, u need a poly grad to type emails, fill up forms and make phone calls mehx? Anyone who has half a brain can do it in semi-snooze mode loh! Plus whatz that comment about the staff he has rite now not being up to standard? If he's that unhappy, then terminate us! Like we give a damn! It would be a relief more than anything. Oh... another thingy he brought up was the fact that staff keep resigning after a couple of mths. Seeshhh go re-evaluate his operation procedures lah. Underpaying ppl, making ppl do things totally outta the job scope (ie. cleaning up the classrooms + mopping the floor), having NO standard procedure and cheating customers. Which Singaporean will stay for the long term? Must really show him some "color", if nt he'll think that all fresh grads are submissive and will dance along to his tune.

Any sensible suggestions are welcome. Drop me an email if u have any constructive comments/suggestions or rational points of view. But pls, dun even bother talking to me and dropping dumb suggestions like "just leave lah"... "heck care".... "let him terminate u" or worse, "stick on for another 2 years loh". Nonsense. The longer I hang around here, the dumber I get & the bleaker my future gets.

Dun wanna wait till I'm 27, then search for a decent job siahx. Who will wanna hire me when there are fresh grads coming out yearly? Younger chaps with more energy and motivation for success? LoL I admit, I'm a sack of lazy bones. Gotta change my attitude if I wanna excel in my nxt job. Know what? I told myself that when I signed this current contract. Thing is, this ain't a place that is worth even the amt. of effort I put in now.

Major decision to make. Zzz

Shady self-destructed @ 14:36

Monday, June 12, 2006

*yawn* I'm bored. Bored of life, bored of the monotony the sunrise brings at the beginning of every single day. Life is a routine.

7am: alarm 1 rings - wake up, take a look at the weather. Raining? Time to wake up, wash up and head for the LRT. Pretty sunny w/o dark clouds? Zzz

7:20am: alarm 2 rings - press the "snooze" button and goes back to sleep

7:30am: alarm 2 rings again - kk, time to wake up and do "everyday things". Head for the bathroom, take a piss, brush my teeth... etc. Top up my dual water bottles for the day, pack it into the backpack with my jacket and ciggies. Feed the pets. Dress for work, comb my hair, wipe my helmet visor & out the house I go.

8:00am: warm up bike at the carpark while puffing on the 1st stick of the day. Then itz off to battle the jam on the BKE-PIE.

8:28am: punch in. Do the typical "opening" stuff... head to the toilet to wash my face & smoke yet another ciggie. Then it'll be work work work all the way till 6pm with an hour's lunch break in between somewhere.

6:10pm: warm up bike at the carpark having yet another ciggie. Head home.

After that, itz either off to tution, come home have dinner & watch tv with some cross stitch or gaming away at the PC... or directly home doing the same stuff over and over again. I'll go to bed probably about 12:30am. The hours fly by and itz 7am again. Thatz how my life is like, 6 days a week. Mon - Sat.

Should I get comfortable with this routine or should I seek something more? LoL even if I were to get another job, itz just another routine all over again. Well... is routine really that bad a thing? Come to think of it, is there someone who's life isn't a routine. Everyone's life follows a schedule of some kind. Coz without a schedule, everything's just gonna be a mess. Doing things impromptu, doing things just coz u feel like doing so. LoL yeah my life was that way once - during the transition phase between student to working adult. I would wake up at anytime I please and do anything I please.

Eventually. I got bored of that too.

Question now is: so how?

Shady self-destructed @ 17:17

Sunday, June 11, 2006

I took another life today.

Remorseful? Perhaps. But there was nothing else I could do. Itz one of Snowy's kits. The latest litter. Somehow, Snowy just refused to feed them - and when we tried to do it manually, bringing the kits to the nipples, the kits didn't feed somehow. Perhaps Snowy's milk supply failed - this is her 3 consecutive litter after all. Anyway... I tried feeding one of the kits myself earlier. It was alredi weak and seemingly on the brink of death. If nth's done, it will definitely not survive. I took some condensed milk (thatz all I have at home besides soft drinks & plain water), mixed it with water and tried feeding it with a straw. It didn't work. The milk went in frm the kit's mouth & came out frm the kit's nose. It seemed to be choking. Anyway, I persisted, hoping for the best... but still the same thing happened over and over again. By then, the kit was barely moving. I know. I shoudn't have pushed it. It was a tough decision - but either way, it was gonna die. Well... I just checked on that fella a while ago, itz dead. I probably drowned it while trying to feed it. *sigh*

The only thing that prevented me frm taking this too hard is that... that was the only thing I could have done, besides rushing it to a vet in the middle of this heavy rain. It simply didn't wrk coz somehow, the kit didn't have the instinct to swallow. As for the remaining kit (one passed away a couple of nights ago), guess I'll just let it be. Let it die by itself. Itz painfully thin though. Am really tempted to just grasp it in my palm and crush it - not to prolong it's suffering any longer. But uhmm... ehh... I don't have the balls to do so. Itz gross ookie... physically killing something with ur bare hands [exception: mosquitoes].

Hmmm anyhow, as u can probably see. My PC is back up and running. I've decided to name her Phoenix. No, I didn't send her for repair. I didn't do anything except press the power button. Did a little of CD burning earlier. Got the entire Prison Break Season 1 on disc now + a couple of movies. I have no idea what the fault is... all I'm hoping is that she'll be okay frm now onwards. DP was telling me that it might be overheating the previous time. How true that is, I don't have a freakin' clue. Perhaps I'll take apart the tower later, to clean it up a little. I just hope that in the meantime, the rain splattering in frm the window isn't gonna hurt her too much. Itz getting small droplets all over the monitor and not to mention, on me who's sitting here and facing the window.

To hell with the folks who designed the flats to be this way -.-" Yeah yeah I could have closed the ventilation "windows" up there. Thing is, if I do that, itz gonna be real stuffy and it is a hassle to even climb up there. Shouldn't they design something betta instead? LoL to think we pay thousands in taxes. Makes me wonder, what kinda morons do the govt. hire to wrk for their "official bodies". Jeez ~ such a waste of money.

Well... guess the plan to pop over to my parents' place today has to be postponed. I'll probably meet my parents for dinner this coming Tues - to hand them the completed square for posting to Australia. Ain't too sure how much thatz gonna cost so there's no way I can do it myself (my wrking hours are way longer than the post office's operation hours!). Anyhow, I should spend an hour or 2 later on TS2, and the rest of the day on DC2. The evening and nite? I'll start on the Father's Day card that really should have been done up by today. Hmm... but at least certain things are rite on schedule.

Interestingly, I had a teleconversation with Jacky yesterday (initially called him regarding some short-term flat rental matters - that the School needs). Uncovered another lie made by Ben. According to Ben, Eric is in a hurry to get a car. But according to Jacky, Eric is in no hurry as he has his company vehicle to drive anyway! Hmm... who will I believe? Well, in this instance. I'd say, not Ben. This won't be the 1st time Ben hath lied to justify his point of view. Plus... it is logical. Eric is going away for 2 years to further his studies. He'll be leaving in July - which means that if he gets a car, he'll be driving it for only about 3 mths. Which logical person will do that? Of coz, there is another possibility that Eric is a total nutcase, but thatz another issue altogether. Hmm.. .and apparently Ben has been going around boasting to people that he own 3 bikes. LoL what a joke! His 3 bikes? His own Fireblade, my SP and Jacky's SP. Seriously I wonder what gave him the right to make that kinda claim. I bought my bike way before I met him and I paid for it in full ookie!! He made abosolutely NO contribution whatsoever (except maybe the rags) on my baby! Jerk.

Oh, he ain't home today anyway, despite claiming yesterday that he has no ship today. Somehow he supposedly got a phone call in the morning to go to the ship at 12pm. He left when I was still asleep - I didn't even know he was gone till I woke. *shrugx* Doesn't matter. It just means that I'll have the TV all to myself! Heh heh he ain't gonna be back early anyway - when I called him earlier, he claimed that work has come to a standstill coz itz raining heavily at Pasir Panjang. Whether that is true or otherwise... ahhh I don't care. Itz a waste of energy focussing on such matters.

I'd rather game.

Shady self-destructed @ 13:47

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Zzz... itz always the case, isn't it? When things go wrong, everything proceeds in a downward spiral. First it was the PC. Now am having uber problems with the PS2. Had to reboot the set a couple of times b4 the dvd loaded (kk, itz a pirated copy... but I never had such problems with other pirated stuff previously), then in the midst of the game, had problems controlling Max [the main character]. He simply seemed to have a mind of his own, "sliding" a certain direction. Think itz a controller problem more than anything else *sigh* The controller is salvaged frm the brink of oblivion anyway - after being almost bit thru' by the rabbit. The analog stick doesn't seem jammed, so it should be the internal wiring that is cocked up. Gawd. No PC, no PS2. How the fuck am I gonna survive Sunday?

Of coz... there's always cross-stitching to do. LoL perhaps this is some cruel plan Fate has. Fate wants me to complete the square ASAP, so everything else at home gets "damaged" and there's no choice but to wrk on the stitching or go crazy with boredom. kk... Fate, u reading this? I will complete Gary by tonite no matter what. So yeah, b4 I work on the stitching, pls let me play DC2 for an hour or so... getting it off my mind so I'll be able to concentrate on stitching betta. Excuses excuses. I really need to game!!

Time for some DC2 screenies. Obtained via GameSpot of coz!! LoL u expecting me to take it frm the TV myself?

Item Selection Screen (Inventory)
Max & Donny [Chapter 1]

Battle @ Underground Sewer
Ah... now u know why I dig this game that much - mainly coz of the anime like graphics. *grinz* The typical large heads, large eyes & tiny button nose ^-^ It gets quite a pain looking at "realistic" portrayal of game characters after sometime (ie. Final Fantasy X & X2... and the all important Sims 2), so such graphics are eye candy to me. LoL Suikoden III's graphics are pretty much that way too, so are Harvest Moon graphics... now u see a pattern between the games I dig? I can't never praise the PS2 enuff - the graphics were a total leap frm PSOne. Besides the more vibrant colors & less "blocky" images, there's also the background details. Phew ~ breathtaking. Yeah I do understand that X-Box has better capabilities... but heyz, too bad, X-Box doesn't come with games I want! The ultimate factor in purhcasing a platform lies with the quantity of games avaliable.
Anyway, popped by Serangoon Nth pet store yesterday after wrk & purchased a few new cages for my hamsters & mice. Didn't cost me a cent! Coz Ben paid for it using the sale of the 4 baby rabbits he sold to Pet Mart. He gave away the larger rabbits [the ones that the Bt Panjang pet store owner gave him] f.o.c. too - simply left them at the pet store. His plan now? Getting rid of all the local bunnies and purchasing a pair of Netherland dwarves. NDs sell for more - thatz his point of view. Well... I do admit that itz true, and the amt of food they consume is simillar to that of locals. The only thing is NDs cost more to start off with. Plus, there is no certainty that the babies will sell online. Sway sway no sale how? LoL think the nxt thing he'll turn his eye towards are lops and lionheads manx.
Anyway, I still don't approve breeding & selling of pets lah. Had a slight tiff last nite b4 snoozing too - he was asking me to sell the male mice I have, and purchase 1 female to start the colony all over again. *sigh* I don't wanna do that. Really. If I ever do start breeding my mice again, it'll be after the death of the older batch of males (I predict they'll have at least another year or so to go). Will have a fresh colony. But I wouldn't clear the "old" just to make way for the new... if u get what I mean. Animals are lives too!!
8 more hours to the weekend. Sunday. I just hope my bro PC doesn't act up tomorrow - his wireless connection is always half-fucked on Sundays. Told him to call up Starhub to complain he doesn't want to. Tsk tsk... I need to send those resumes so the Internet betta work tml. Well besides that, I've gotta drop by SLS for a new PS2 controller and Kinokuniya to search for the cross stitch mags - the last time I called, the issues weren't in yet, but the cso told me that it'll arrive "these few days". Gwad how much $ am I gonna spend siah? $35 for the controller, $24 for the magazines + if Ben's coming, I did promise that I'm gonna treat him go makan bak kut teh @ Chinatown. That'll be another $15 or so. Damn. That'll definitely place me in the red, but how much in red, there's no way to find out coz my PC is down. See my handicap now & why that issue totally ticked me off?
The only solace is that the 15th is nxt wk.
I need a better paying job.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:13

Friday, June 09, 2006

2 days, 1 dead computer, S$78 poorer -.-"

Sometimes, things just happen to screw up a person's plans for the day. Refer to my previous blog entry ~ planned to do a little job searching & application after I got back frm the doc, but guess what? I came back... booted up my PC to watch Prison Break, and the PC died on me. Yep. Have totally zlich idea whatz going on. It might be hardware, or it might be a virus (considering that my Microsoft Antispyware totally disappeared a couple of days b4). Itz just one huge inconvenience. Will think of getting someone to fix it after I get my pay. pero was saying that he'll help me take a look at it but he won't be free till nxt Sat - wonder if I'll be able to wait till then. Damn. Main concern is the stuff in the PC.

Normally, what the IT guys will do is a reformat. Which is, totally undesirable. Itz funny. Am not too worried about TS2 saved game - can always start frm scratch after I reinstall. Am a tad concerned about the anime & movies in the hd... coz i did spend hundreds of hours downloading them all. Most imptly, am worried about the finance balancing excel sheets in the PC. That should be the most impt. thingy in my PC rite now. Without that, I won't remeber how much Ben owes the home account, and I've gotta start settling the fiances all over again! Bad idea. Aaarrgghhh will try to see if I can salvage a couple of files during the weekend. I wonder if itz possible to burn CDs in Safe Mode.

Computers can be such a headache at times =(

A pain. But nonetheless a necessary one.

Anyway, a certain individual ticked me off that very day with the snide comments he made when I told him about my PC crash. I sent the SMS hoping that someone can offer some help... but all I got were a couple of insulting lines [one of which telling me to go tell my dad about it - itz as if I'm some helpless little girl]. Oh yeah, it might have been an ill-timed joke, but guess what? I ain't forgiving by nature.

Hmm... I did tell my dad about it eventually though. Coz he SMSed me last nite, wondering about my "disappearance" - no email to him for the past 2 daysz. LoL guess he was worried. As expected, he offered to help out with paying for the computer repair... but I declined. I'm gonna do this on my own. If it has to wait till I get my paycheck, then so be it. Damn. Come to think of it, I haven't been taking driving lessons for quite sometime now. Due to sloth and the lack of funds. Jeez ~ why do sway things always happen to me?

God really does seem to have something against me. LoL

Looking at things frm the bright side, I did complete Suikoden III. Finally. *nod nod* Just one change in my party lineup and that made all the difference! Replaced Lv. 56 Aita (my intended backup healer) with Lv. 57 Sasarai (holder of the True Earth rune). I daresay that Sasarai kinda saved the day with his Canopy Defence spell! One change in strategy helped too - I totally stopped using Runes... after I noted that magic cast is always reflected back to the party (which causes significant dmg). Took out the Lightning rune, then focussed on the Water. Seriously, things got way easy after the Water Rune was destroyed. Nxt to go was the Fire. By then, the boss ain't hurting my party much. After about 20min, it was over.

The Cyndar Ruins collapsed and the heroes returned to Lake Castle to recuperate. Of coz, the game ended on a great note - with everyone going their seperate ways... and it was nice to have a small writeup about each of the stars of destiny in the end, stating what they did after the war... etc. With the full 108 Stars of Destiny on my list, the 3rd flame was unlocked. Luc's flame. Spent another hour or so finishing up his part of the story.

Done. Yet another RPG on my record.

As I had hours to spare (postponed my tution for the nite), I decided to embark on Dark Cloud 2. Heh, the Dark Cloud series is one of the few action RPGs that I actually play - I so much prefer turn-based battle style ones. Hmmm with my computer down, itz expected that I didn't get to view gamefaqs for the itsy bitsy stuff. Ain't looking for a walkthru' but simply more information about the "mini-quest" in game - collection of photo ideas, scoops & inventions. LoL well, itz kinda too late to get a perfect score now, considering that I've missed a scoop during a boss battle and I have absolutely no intention to replay the game just to get it. Hahaha perhaps I should really place less stress on myself and playing the game just normally w/o all these guides etc. Coz at the end of the day, all this stuff is just bonuses (+ self-satisfaction). Doesn't affect normal gameplay in any way.

Arrrgghhh this always happens - am so tempted to go back home to continue right now! I just love the weapon synthesis part of the game :D Perhaps upon completion of Dark Cloud 2, I'll go back to replay Dark Cloud. I didn't complete part I... namely coz I broke up with my ex-bf b4 I could do so, and the saved game was left at his place. Was up to the final stages of the game though. Such a pity. But anyway, it wouldn't kill me to replay... so thatz what I'll do. Will hold off Shadow Hearts 2 for a bit 1st. That game is way too serious. Need some cartoony thingy in my life rite now & Dark Cloud 2 is perfect!

Ah well. Itz Friday today. Am back at wrk. Time does fly by so quickly during the days I spend at home. Plan for the weekend? Well. Think I've gotta drop by my parents place on Sun to use the computer for some job applications. Caught sight of a few not-bad ones on the papers and the only reason y I didn't apply is coz the PC is down. Good thing is my parents subscribe to the Straits Times so I'll be able to go thru' papers for the rest of the days too. Sat's recruit is the best for job hunting so far - if u are looking for something better than normal O'Level holders-oso-can positions. Will worry about scheduling interviews and the 2k penalty for breach of contract later. Itz not a 100% thingy that I get every job I apply for! Hell... I don't even get the phone calls more than 75% of the time.

One attitude I'm gonna adopt rite now is - crossing the bridge when I get to it. Itz pointless doing long-term planning and worrying about matters that have yet to surface. No doubt, the problems will surface in the future... and people will advise being prepared. But eh... Fate can bring many twists so yeah, will tackle the problem only when itz in front of me. Wouldn't wanna waste all those brain cells & energy harping over it. With much luck, the problem wouldn't even surface after all!

Must adopt positive mindset.

Kk. Now to survive for the rest of the day.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:02

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Ahhh... peace at last. The dogs have returned to Teck Whye. Phew ~ was thinking that they will become perm. fixtures here. LoL but Ben finally decided that they were too expensive to keep around and they take up too much energy as well. Anyway itz nw the rabbits. He's thinking of just dumping them to the petstore as well, coz they eat too much. LoL it'll be good though, if they are gone too. Their tanks are a terror to clear and rite now, their tanks accumulate fruit flies. There are tons of flies. Plus the fur, the room is starting to become a horrible place to step in. I just hope that bum clears them up soon.

Anyway, Snowy gave birth to yet another 3 kits. I wonder how long can she last manx... with all these consecutive litters coming out. She doesn't seem to be allowed a break in-between kits. At this rate, the quality of baby rabbits aren't gonna be wonderful either!! Hmm... I wonder if Ben's gonna do something about the discoloring of Snowy's fur as well. She's starting to look really really disgusting -.-" In the other tank, Jubi's kits should be more or less ready to be sold alredi. Heh, am tempted to keep XiaoXiao though... that one has pretty markings & is hand tamed - doesn't nip and all... YET.

Oh? How did I manage to upload that pic? Well... simple. My $50 dilligence award for June hath flown outta the window the minute I SMSed my colleague saying that I ain't going to wrk today becoz of period cramps. To be frank, the cramps aren't bad. In fact, there isn't any pain at all, except a numbing feeling. This is definitely one of the betta mths. I'm just feeling super lazy and I ain't exactly in the mood to go down today. Hopefully I'll manage to obtain an MC frm the doc later. Will probably go down in the noon. I just hope it doesn't rain. Dark clouds are alredi forming in the sky. Anyway, when I go see the doc, will pick up today's copy of the straits times to check out the jobs in the Recruit section too. Might as well make the MC worthwhile. At least do something at home.

Plan for the day? Hmm... I'll play TS2 till around 11am. Then I'll watch 1 disc of Judgement Day while wrking on the cross stitch. Afterwhich, will head down to Greenridge to see the doc, get lunch & the straits times. Have lunch while watching 1 epi of Prison Break. Browse thru' the papers and submit a couple of applications, then get the pile of clothes ironed. If I'm in the mood, will vacuum the carpet as well. Think by then, it should be time to head to tution. Then it'll be stitching thru' the nite.

*yawn* What a life. If only I can be a housewife. LoL but heyz heyz, don't think that being a housewife is easy. Itz a job that most men wouldn't wanna do, and let me put it this way... most men will fail even if they tried. Do not ever underestimate the amount of work a woman does at home. Just look at my mom. She managed the entire household singlehandedly and raised 2 kids decently at the same time. Mum was the primary caregiver, the housekeeper, the cook, the preschool teacher, the purchaser... etc. All dad does is bring home the bacon. LoL so why would I wanna do it? Simple. Flexible schedule :D

Shady self-destructed @ 10:33

Monday, June 05, 2006

Zzz. I miss Tigger -.-" Itz like... outta a sudden, the house seems so quiet and empty w/o his endless mewing. Went to the kitchen this morning to dump my "last nite clothes" & itz like... well, things just don't feel the same. Basically, there is no noisy little orange fella, pulling at his leash, who will claw and nip on my feet. The broom, mop and pails have gone back into the bathroom. The litter tray and bowls are left out to dry. Aarrgghhhh I wonder how is that little fella doing rite now. Is the family treating him right? Or will he be kept 24/7 in a cage (much worse than what I was doing)? What is he eating and does he have enuff water? Jeez ~ I do regret letting him go. Gotta keep telling myself that itz for the better, for the both of us. But seriously, is it?

Went for lunch & received an SMS frm Eileen - telling me that Tigger is eating, pooing and peeing fine and hath been a well-behaved boy so far. Makes me feel slightly better after reading it... itz difficult to trust another human, especially one you don't even know. I can only take her word for it, I guess.

If u think that the $50 Eileen gave yesterday is gonna help ease the pain, let me tell u that it certainly does NOT. In fact it makes it slightly worse coz it makes me feel as if I've sold Tigger. To hell with the $50 note that I've lost, really. *sigh* It didn't help that there were Garfield standees all around J8. Damnit. It just makes things worse coz Garfield is the exact same color as Tigger! Aaarrgghhhh. Know what? Think I'm just gonna donate the $50 to an animal charity - most probably the SPCA. The $ isn't mine to begin with. It'll be nice if it can help another animal. Think Tigger would be glad too, if he understands whatz going on. Damn. I betta stop this b4 I breakdown in the ofc.

I'm going mad. All those consecutive losses in my life.

Everything else just seems insignificant now.

Shady self-destructed @ 13:31

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Itz with a heavy heart that I'm making this entry. Nah... itz not becoz of the $50. I was sian, I was upset... but well... f**k it. The divine hand hath "stolen" it, and it'll never return. It is supposed to last me for another week. *shakes head*

Am feeling kinda down rite now, coz as I'm typing this, the person who's gonna come take a look @ Tigger will arrive anytime. Eileen, thatz the lady's name. Itz possible that she'll take her home tonite. This may be the last time I'll ever see little Tigger. The photographs in my 6111 are the last ones that I'll ever take of her. It'll be great if Eileen can update me on Tigger's progress now and then... but I'm not too hopeful about it. Whatever it is, I honestly hope that Tigger will go to a good home - and that she won't be used for breeding, only to be abandoned again in her old age. *sigh* To be frank, 50% of me hopes that the lady will decide against adopting Tigger, and that she'll still be here. Well...

Too late. Tigger's gone now.

What a cruel hand Fate deals. Eileen gave me an ang pow of $50. Yeah I know, it kinda replaced the note that I've lost... but... now I've lost something even more expensive. Something priceless. I kept Tigger's collar and chain, but Tigger is no longer coming home. *sigh* Eileen's entire family came down for viewing... he was a perfect kitty in their arms. I just hope that he wouldn't cause much problems at their place and that they'll really treat him with the kindness he deserves. They seem like a nice gentle family though, and frm the way they handled cats... itz obvious that they do have the experience. Well... I'm gonna send Eileen a mail tml, asking for photographs.

Bloody hell. Why does goodbye have to hurt that much? I actually cried in front of them as they are walking out the door. I know I'm just being a big baby... but I just couldn't help it. The tears came of their own accord. I really do need to control my emotions better. Aargghh folks who've been thru' the same situation would understand how I feel.

Bye Tigger. Good luck in your new home.

Shady self-destructed @ 18:29

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Itz confirmed. The $50 is gone. Had the hope that it might be left on the sofa, but search turned out nothing. Sianx. Guess I must have dropped it when I took the cash outta the plastic. This is one expensive lesson - to be more careful in future.

Damn my life.

Shady self-destructed @ 19:08

What a "wonderful" day this is turning out to be. I went to the cash deposit machine earlier, intending to bank in $270 that Ben borrowed frm me the other day (in order to purchase a GPS for one of his ships). It was only when I was about to place the cash into the slot when I realised that I only had $220 with me! Ben said that he returned me $270 in cash, I don't doubt him on that, though I didn't exactly count the money. Left the notes on the sofa while I was feeding the pets... afterwhich I folded the notes and slotted into the plastic case with my bankbook. I checked my bag, no $50 note. I don't remember seeing a note on the sofa when I took my stuff earlier this morn & am sure that it wasn't left in the computer room (no reason y it should be seperated frm the other notes). *sigh*

Now I'm seriously depressed. I'm $50 poorer. What a lousy time for such a thing to happen (though there's really, never a good time to lose any money). Why can't it be that a $10 note is missing instead of the $50? I need every f**king cent and this kinda thingy happens to me? Gah!! It might be coz I encouraged Lacky to take a piss outside the church at Jelapang Rd yesterday evening - God's revenge of some kind [dun gimme the bullshit that God is merciful... didn't u ever read the Bible about his "temper tantrums"?]. Well God... u reading this, u little bastard? Lacky didn't pee there eventually... and if u are the one who took the $50, let me tell u this. I'll get even with u when I die. u betta pray that Lucifer charms my soul before I get up to heaven to knock ur little ass off the throne.

Shit. $50, mind you.

Shady self-destructed @ 14:39

Tigger is still at Jelapang -.-" Had to cancel the viewing last nite coz I wanted to drop by my parents place to pick up some stuff - plus Ben had "ship" so it didn't make sense for me to go home everytime that he ain't in anyway! Dinner was good. KFC take-away :P Initially the plan was to have dinner out, but I noticed that there was gonna be X-Men on Chn 5 at 7:30pm. Dad came home at almost 7:20pm so heh heh it was a little "too late" to go out. Decided to do da bao and have it while watching the movie :D Hmmm X-Men II is gonna be telecast this Sun. I wonder if I'll be awake to catch it then. 6:45pm. I might just be taking a nap (coz I foresee a really really late nite tonite)!!

Well, I picked up the magazine subscriptions' confirmation letter yesterday. Can't wait for Q&E to be delivered to my doorstep instead of visiting the bookstores almost daily!! LoL ookie, it won't exactly be at my doorstep - it'll be posted to my parents place instead XD I wonder howz the condition of the mags gonna be.

Tsk tsk, talk about unfairness @ wrk. There'll be a new contract signed by a new staff today. She's just a diploma holder, younger than me, w/o experience and the boss offered her 1.5k. Fine. If that ain't enuff, her contract is for 1 year. Thatz kinda f**ked up, isn't it? I dunno. I'm gonna have a chat with the boss later - to see if he can offer me a better contract... at least one that doesn't have a 2yr "bond"! Then I will suggest to him to shorten my wrking hrs. Well... if all doesn't wrk out, and he refuses (90% probability that this is gonna happen), I'll start sending out my resumes tonite and attending interviews as and when. Once I secure a job, I'll simply tender my resignation and get the hell outta here. 2k is really not that huge a price to pay for the sake of a better future!

*sigh* Hopefully I'll manage to get at least one aspect of my life back on track.

I really really have to start stitching again tonite - for 2hrs min (hopefully I'll manage to insert about 3hrs of TS2 as well). 3 days w/o holding the needle. Am so badly behind schedule that I'm afraid I won't be able to make it afterall. Had a late bedtime last nite. Keeping fingers crossed that I've have sufficient energy siah.

Quote for the day:

The 50-50-90 Rule ~ Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Shady self-destructed @ 09:20

Friday, June 02, 2006

^-^ Seems that Tigger has a chance of not being a stray afterall!! My message on the Pets Forum got 1 response - frm this lady, Eileen, who will be dropping by to view the cat tonite. *sigh* I wonder if this is the right thing to do. I really hope that Eileen is not one of those "cheats" on pet forums who adopt animals to breed & sell. There is of course, no foolproof way to determine the person's sincerity - everything is based on trust afterall. I ain't gonna bother drafting up an agreement or whatsoever... itz just pretty ridiculous (and I doubt the court will recognise it). Hopefully, this time, Tigger will find a nice permanent home. Ack ~ itz gonna be difficult letting her go.

Shady self-destructed @ 13:56

Once again, I wish I could say TGIF. But sadly... nah. Am still with Spring Language School, and will still be working tml while the majority of Singaporeans take a weekend break. Need evidence that most folks will be snoozing at home instead? Just travel along the BKE-PIE on a weekday... and travel the same route on a Sat at the same time. The decrease in traffic volume is obvious - even to the unobservant. As travelling time is cut short on Sat, coz the roads are clear, it'll mean that I can afford to leave the house 5 min later! Yaaaay!! F**k it. I'd rather be home under the quilt or clicking away at my mouse or stitching on the sofa than sitting on the damned chair I'm on rite now, pretending to be busy.

Anyway, after countless of painful bleeding scratches and bites on my fingers (that develop into hideous scars), legs & abdominal area + minutes spent clearing the litter tray, washing the floor & mopping it try... I've come to an unwilling decision. Tigger has to go. Am not too sure if I would wanna put her up for adoption anymore - she will be difficult to keep in any house. Am toying with the idea of simply returning her to the streets, despite her non-existent fear of humans. I understand that she's just being playful. But is it necessary to bite on everything that moves? Plus, she has this sick habit of using my leg as a tree. Jump... climb climb - with claws extended and all. Lastly, itz just sooner or later that someone lodges a complaint with the HDB. Unlike most cats, Tigger doesn't stop mewing at the top of her voice. Even after food & water has been given. Perhaps he just doesn't like to be tied up. The thing is, if that ain't done, there goes all the furniture.

Yeah perhaps it is Fate that brought her to my door last mth. Perhaps she's "destined" to be with me. Well... I don't have to be a Fate's slave, do I? Besides, it might just have been a coincidence that got her up the 13th floor. With Fat, the Pomeranian, at my place nw as well (as Ben's parents went to M'sia), itz just gonna get worse. That bugger ain't toilet trained perfectly and tends to poo and pee all over the place - more jia lat than Lacky. *sigh* Itz just too bad that Tigger couldn't be like Krazy.

Shady self-destructed @ 12:12

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Oops. I was so totally slack last nite. LoL after returning hm frm tution, I turned on the PC, loaded TS2 and thatz what I was basically doing for the rest of tha nite!! Played the Jacquet family a little & was trying to handle the bakery - damnit. The bakery bug, stocking related, is indeed annoying. Pre-made products in the owners' inventory simply disappear and still... the goods don't get stocked. Hopefully Maxis will release a patch or something to rectify the problem. Restocking manually in the meantime will be sufficient but doing it for the long-term totally sux. I might just get the guy to sell the lot (leave it as a NPC-run community one) & open another bakery somewhere else!

RAW was delayed till 12:05am - I didn't catch it eventually (coz it'll end approx. 01:45am and that'll mean a serious lack of sleep for me), hence I didn't do as much stitching as I hoped I would! Jeez ~ will need to dedicate the weekend to catching up if I intend to submit Gary within 2 weeks. There's still the Father's day card to work on *tears hair*. I wonder if this mth's issue of Q&E is out yet. Would drop by Popular to check it out later. The sooner I get it the better. Am running out of reading material -.-"

Heh heh, will have a slightly more decent lunch today... Ben returned me the $90 last nite and I should be getting my tution cheque on Mon. That'll place me back in the green! Woot! Will start scheduling my next driving pract. soon. Gee... am just sooooo lazy to attend practicals. LoL if only I didn't have to travel so far for it :P

Well... apparently, last evening, Gayboy came to collect the things he "left behind" when he went MIA. Hmmm... it seems that he didn't have to fork out the 1k to break the contract after all! Am not too sure if they just let him go or he had to forfeit the month's pay. Thing is... even if his pay is forfeited... he stands to 'earn' coz it ain't possible that his take home is more than 1k with all those MCs he had! Sneaky bastard. Perhaps he does have more brains that I gave him credit for! LoL wouldn't improve the impression that he left me though. Kk, case closed. Dun wanna blog 'bout that faggot anymore. Ever.

Shady self-destructed @ 09:26

.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page

Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.
In Progress

Dark Cloud 2
Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts II
Wild Arms 3

In Queue

Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
Dark Cloud
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Grandia III
Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
Persona 3
Rogue Galaxy
Rule of Rose
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Shadow Hearts: From The New World
Shining Force Neo
Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Soul Cradle [Jap]
Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
Suikoden IV
Suikoen V
Tales of the Abyss
Wild Arms Alter Code: F
Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

Ar tonelico II [?]
Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Digimon World Data Squad
Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
Drakengard
Drakengard 2
Dual Hearts
Elvandia Story [?]
Ephemeral Fantasia
Eternal Ring
Evergrace
Forever Kingdom
Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
Growlanser Generations
Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
Jade Cocoon 2
Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
MS Saga: A New Dawn
Musashi Samurai Legend
Odin Sphere
Okage: Shadow King
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Radiata Stories
RPG Maker 2 [?]
RPG Maker 3 [?]
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
Shining Force Exa
Shining Wind [?]
Shining Tears
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Steambot Chronicles
Summoner
Summoner 2
Tales of Destiny [?]
Tales of Destiny II [?]
Tales of Legendia
Tales of Rebirth [?]
Tales of Symphonia [?]
The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
Tsugunai: Atonement
Unlimited Saga
Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
Wild Arms 5 [?]
Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
.hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
.hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
.hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
.hack//Infection Part 1
.hack//Mutation Part 2
.hack//Outbreak Part 3
.hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

Grandia II
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
Legend of Legia II
Shadow Hearts
Silent Hill 2
Suikoden III

Trash Bin

7 Sins
Urbz: Sims in The City
Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...

+ A r c h i v e s +

02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004
03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
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09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
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09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
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10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006
12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007
01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007
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04/01/2007 - 05/01/2007
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06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007
07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007
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09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007
10/01/2007 - 11/01/2007
11/01/2007 - 12/01/2007
12/01/2007 - 01/01/2008
01/01/2008 - 02/01/2008
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04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008
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06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008
07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008
09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008
10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008
12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009

+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

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