Contradictory Ramblings Version 2.0

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else

I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free

Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this cant be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel

Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone

No one but me can save myself, but its too late
Now I cant think, think why I should even try

Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye

Fade to Black - Metallica

Contradictory Ramblings [Version 3.0]

"Walking around in circles... seeking a place to call my own"

Welcome to My Life

Monday, August 30, 2004

Gahhh am supposed to make a trip down to the sci centre for an interview. Woke up with cramps so am gonna give this a pass. Besides... am having a slight headahe -.-"

Shady self-destructed @ 07:29

Went for a drink earlier, at Five-Ten Ktv Pub along prinsep street. Accompained Adeline down since she's feeling all depressed. Got myself pretty seh and now am feeling so woozy. Once my hair dries a little more, it'z off to dreamland for me. Being tired + alcohol = dreamy dreamy state. lolx been quite sometime since I felt this way and frankly it feels good. I just need alcohol in my blood though I gonna regret the beer that i took when my tummy expands further. But since itz once in a while... ah fuck it. Anyway got to know that Emily is now pregnant and will be getting married soon. *grinx* She's so young. But I kinda envy her. At times I do wish that I have a bf, someone to care for mi at the end of the day... but most of the time, I'm glad that I'm alone. Nothing beats the freedom I am having now. Or perhaps I am just consoling myself? Well anyway I nvr knew 5-10 was a lesbian pub till today. Got to know another 2 there. Actually Adeline was the one who started talking and I just couldn't remain dao all the way, could I? Anyway they're pretty kewl ppl, friendly & nice to speak with =)

Piggy is in hospital again. I should go see him tml. I just hope my baby works well so I can stay longer w/o worries of missing the last bus home. Darn. I hope piggy is fine. Am kinda worried about him coz he seems to be getting into crap most of the time. Then again, he's always optimistic, that I admire him for. *sigh* I still remeber the arguements we had b4... and those dayz of not speaking to each other. Uncomfortable but i'm glad it all worked out in the end.

Someone's been in my mind all the time lately. It doesn't feel good, especially I am unsure if he feels the same way about me. Known him for quite sometime now, a long time actually, depending on how one judges time & I never realised that I actually kinda like him... till recently when I seem to think of him all the time, whatever I do. I had an inkling feeling b4 that I liked him, but I never confirmed it with myself. The feeling sux. I hate it when I like someone. I'd rather have just games & anime on my mind all the time. I ain't gonna push this relationship... unless he makes the 1st move... unless I am totally positive that he feels for me too. I dun wanna ruin the friendship we alredi have. I just dun wanna think of him anymore. I hate it when I feel this way. It just makes me feel... weak in a way. Well, such feelings fade in time. I just hope it fades and not get any worse. Perhaps itz the beers I had that make me feel such things even worse. I just want him outta my mind.

Life blows manX.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:23

Sunday, August 29, 2004

.: [ Weird Happenings ] :.

So the Story Begins...

Dragged myself to work today. Okay. Had a difficult time finding parking in Suntec's carpark, had to round like mad to finally find a spot near a column, between 2 cars. Nvm. Work went on as expected - boring to the max. At least managed to sell 2 sets today. So I guess the comission I get is ard $50... which makes up for the 0 last Thurs. Could have been more. One customer came back but decided not to buy coz the manager didn't wanna play a DVD for her. Another returned and signed up with another salesperson *sigh* I just hope tomorrow wun be a nought again. I don't ask for much. 3 sales should be enuff /gg That'll make my time and effort worthwhile I suppose. This is more difficult than I expected siahx. Itz gonna be even more sianx tml. I ain't sleeping as yet - not too sleepy. Supposed to be on RO... but apparently my modem is acting up so my connection is kinda dead. If this holds on, think I would need to reboot and see how it goes. Which means, I gotta save what I'm typing on notepad so I can copy and paste later. Gahhhh... reboot time.

Perfect. Before I can even get the chance to finish blogging, the power supply to the entire block was cut... at ard 7am. I was on RO halfway at that. The PC just shut off and when I woke up earlier, there was an error msg. Apparently the system crashed. Woke up late (too late to game but I'll still be on time if I go down rite now w/o eating). Hell, I still gotta blog b4 going down to Suntec. If not there'll be too many things running in my head. And I need my food. Food provided sux big time and I can hardly finish half the packet of rice.

Anyway, anyhow, last nite.

Went down to Botannical Gardens for some night walk. Interesting place. It was pretty calm and peaceful to think of it. We walked till we reached this building. I've no idea what that building is but a couple of the guys say that itz a cemetry. Hmmm... plan was to go in and take a look anyway but this guy suddenly told us to turn ard and leave. As I left, some idiot tapped mi on the shoulder. I did ask who it was later but no one confessed. G-R-E-A-T. But when we left, we got somehow "trapped" in the area... everywhere we turned led to a dead end. I dropped my bike again while making this stupid right turn. Thatz it manx. Afterwhich it wasn't able to kickstart. blur had to pushstart the thingy for me -.-" After supper, everything was fine though. Even my signal lights and neutral light all came back on. Wth happened in the 1st place? It was fine all the way till I reached Great World. Just couldn't turn on anything when I wanted to leave the place. Yesh, I gotta go to a mechanic but I'm just too lazy. Well, as I was mentioning. On the way out frm that place... I saw this guy in brown at the side of the road, looking as if he was flagging a cab. Gave mi quite a shock. No one else saw him. Was it just a hallucination? I ain't on anything last nite though. Ah well... fuck it, itz just weird.

Eventually after supper, 3 of the guys had to go send mi home. It always seems to be the case. Everytime I go out, there's someone sending mi home. *sigh* I dunno. I just hope that this doesn't have to happen again. It just makes mi feel pretty bad that ppl gotta go outta the way just to "get me home safely". Dun knoe why but I've always hated it when ppl gotta send mi home. Itz just... troublesome and I dun enjoy being a hindarance (in Jovan's case itz different I just dun like to be sent home by her!!!!). Perhaps nxt time I shouldn't ride out anymore. =(

Did a tarot reading earlier for myself b4 I went to sleep. The cards were pretty ambigious. Alot of things are focussed on a new relationship. Saying that I have the upper hand in this if I want to make this work... but I gotta know exactly what I'm getting myself into. And that future obstacles will be included by my searching for a job & my past will come back to haunt mi. Somewhere along this train of thought. I can still read it perfectly. Thatz all I can make outta them. Frankly, I have no idea what this "new relationship" refers to. I gotta go wrk. Fuck it.

Shady self-destructed @ 11:07

Friday, August 27, 2004

Uhm okay. I didn't go to wrk. I did wake up ard 10:30am but I was so sleepy that I decided to just drift back to sleep and not care. F**k it manx, itz just $30/day anyway. I would have gone if they paid mi $5/hr or something. Anyway I slept... and I slept... and I slept. All the way till 6pm. I'll be going tomorrow though. Another boring day is ahead tml. Got a feeling that I gonna sleep real late tonite & will end up uber stoned @ Comex. Heh, that is if Sky ain't too pissed off, that I didn't turn up, to schedule mi for wrk tml. Frankly, I don't give a damn about this job. Itz a pain trying to promote laptops. /me shrugx.

Well I just realised that quite a few movies came out and I don't really have the company to watch it -.-" Collateral & Bourne Supremacy. I can't exactly remembe what the Bourne Indentity is about except that Matt Damon rawks in that movie!!~! Oh, give mi Matt Damon anytime compared to Leonardo DiCarprio. That fag. lolx. I can skip Face - think itz just gonna be another dumb horror movie. I watched Mean Girls on VCD the other day. Just another teenage school movie, filled with stereotypical characters. Perhaps my eyes weren't wide enough during my schooling years (coz I'm half-asleep all the time), but I never noticed such groups in school. There are a few... but not that many. Well, Mean Girls was a shallow movie, but entertaining nonetheless. Suitable for watching when u dun really feel like thinking about the plot. lolx. What plot? Everything is oh so predictable. That everyone will be friends at the end of the day and the girl & the guy will end up together. Childish fantasy =)

Back to RO manx. Gonna push my lvls. Too bad the wiz ain't home. Easier if he's ard.

Shady self-destructed @ 18:18

Work was horrible. I didn't manage to close any sales, which means... 0 comission for today =( There was one hopeful, but Sky & Kelvin went to talk to that guy halfway thru my conversation and eventually managed to close it (after offering alot of discouts) - the 1st deal of the entire day for everyone. Darn. Supposedly the person who closes the 1st deal will get an additional $20. The deal was supposed to be MINE!!~! Now, not only I dont' get that $20, I dun get comission frm that too coz they took over frm mi halfway. Doesn't life really blow? And there were customers who took phamplets frm my booth, listened to a little briefing, walked away and signed up with another. This really sux manx. I hope that tml will be a better day. I don't ask for much. 3 will be sufficient for me. To cover today & tml's "pay". Gawd, I have to really look for betta temp jobs in the time being. Eman was saying something about an exhibition @ the Science Ctr nxt mth... I hope he'll be able to get mi into that too. Itz all about the $$ manx. But this time, I'll only settle for > $5/hr. I wonder if I should start approaching agencies. I hate doing sales. Hopefully I wun have to do this ever again - though I don't mind wrking at a bike show. At least I'll be surrounded by bikes... heehee /gg

Anyway, I'm tired. I only went to sleep ard 8am and woke up 9:45am earlier. I'm gonna go to be once I finish blogging - this I swear. I am so fuckin' stonned the other day. Last nite was eventful. Adeline called mi, telling mi that she's been slapped by Jasper and that she doesn't feel well after that. She was crying & all on the fone. Frankly I am damn pissed. How can a butch slap her gf? Gosh... I wonder why Adeline didn't have the heart to retaliate. I just hope she'll be okay. She still feels sick today and has yet to see a doctor, despite mi telling her to do so. Thatz it manx... tml if she still refuses, I gonna ride down to her place after wrk & send her to the doc in a CAB!!~! *mumbles* Damned Jasper. I hope this time the breakup is for real. Everytime Adeline gives in and patches up when Jasper jios. Duhh can't she see that this relationship is going nowhere? Especially that this ain't the 1st time Jasper hit her?!

Well, afterwhich Jovan called. Apparently Jovan is in some serious shit of her own as well. Her so-called friends accused her of taking a girl's handfone and stealing a "brother"'s gf. They were threatening to beat her up if she doesn't agree to a one-on-one. Do they have to be so f**king childish? I mean... y are they trying to act pai kia when they are just girls? Gosh!!~! Will nvr understand those butches. Wtf are they trying to prove when they pick up all those male bad habits (fighting, beating up gf, chauvanism... etc) ? That they can be like a guy? Pls manx !!~! Guys like that suck and girls who are trying to be guys like that suck even more. Well... she called Alvin down to lim kopi & talk a little. I went along since itz only 15min walk away frm where I was. Had some food, headed back home. Alvin was real funnie. I was complaining that the bike parked beside me is some stupid Shadow, not the usual XR4. He went down to the carpark to take a look, found that that silly guy didn't lock his handlebar and went to pedal the bike to a lot across the carpark. lolx. When I went to pick up my bike earlier, I saw that the Shadow has changed his parking spot. There's no one parked at my area except my baby. But when I got home, the XR4 was at the usual spot all over again. lol things are back to normal. shifter's bike was in a weird spot when I left the house though. Heh.

I got lost again. This time ain't too bad. Just had to make a U-turn, even though it was pretty far. Took a wrong turn out frm Tiong Bahru and went to Lower Delta road instead. Damnit. I should have stuck with the River Valley route that I was more familliar with. Backside itchy, go try another way... ended up late. lolx. Met Ah Song again after such a long time. She still remembers me =) We talked, and things that happened in the past just came out. Gosh... I still do miss the dayz wrking at GVPS. It was just so much fun, despite the pathetic pay. I guess that was why everyone stayed. Now, itz all... memories. heehee. Ah well, after that went makan with blur @ River Valley - long time no eat at that prata stall liaox. Reminds mi of the times I went for supper with SR staff after wrk. Damnit. It seems like everywhere brings memories of everything !!~! I miss 'em. But at least itz good memories.

I should sleep. I've blogged too long alredi.

Shady self-destructed @ 03:22

Thursday, August 26, 2004

1st day of work... I'm running late and I'm blogging. wth huh? Itz just that I don't feel good just leaving the house w/o doing some tapping on my keyboard. Logging into shazz is just outta the question. Took a nap earlier at 8am. It was sooooo difficult to get up. Think I'll concuss early tonite. Well, the exhibition is gonna be on for 4 dayz. I hope I'll sell something. If not, $30/day is uber pathetic. Don't think I'll be going anywhere for the nxt few dayz at this rate. I forsee a boring week ahead.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:05

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Got myself a Deviruchi on shazz!!~! WOOT!!! Hopefully it doesn't disappear this time /gg couldn't have done it w/o PympGangsta though =) I would have died many times in clocktower if he wasn't there taking the hits. heh... his crit assassin rawks. I'll get there someday. Anyway yep yep, got my thief (now assassin) Sakuya Rei married on shazz. Poor blur. He was forced into it. HmZzz... the wedding went on pretty weird though. My client hung during registration but the zeny was deducted and when Kira went on to talk to the king, the wedding went on as normal. lolx I didn't guess that it would be announced server wide. Quite a few who were online showed up. Oh well, I ended up with a wedding ring that allows mi to summon my spouse to me anytime... weird that he doesn't get a ring in return though *mumbles* Interesting. Too bad it wasn't implemented when I was on Loki or Iris. Itz now possible on emRO too though. Saw the box at Sim Lim earlier. YESH!!! The Sims 2 is gonna be released Sept 14. The nxt time I go down to Sim Lim, I gonna pre-order it. I must get my hands on those. Come to think of it... my original Sims. I've yet to reinstal it into my PC. Dun think I'll have the time to play it rite now though. Got myself addicted to RO all over again. There goes my alredi pathetic social life. I hope to go Monk's this Fri. I miss clubbing =P

Shady self-destructed @ 07:01

Itz weird. Am in a highly volatile mood the entire day. Little things seem to irk mi. Even slight noises seem to piss the hell outta me. Well, anyway, got down to Sim Lim & met the guy who is hiring us (mi, Eman & his cousin) for the computer fair @ Suntec, found out slightly more about the job. The basic pay is pathetic. $30/day. The comission is 30% of profit for every laptop sold though. Individual comission. *shrugx* Frankly, I would much prefer it if itz group comission coz shit does happen during sales. Anyway... since I have yet to find a job, I suppose $30 is betta than $0 afterall. Gonna be wrking frm Thurs - Sun. 9hrs a day. Well just gotta bear with it I guess. At the same time I should drop by SR to sign my release form, so I can take my last paycheck. Somehow... I kinda miss wrking there. Itz a f**king no-brainer, not much commitment kinda job. lolx. And ppl are... entertaining. With their unbelievable stupidity. Just when I start to think that I've met the ultimate dumbass, another comes along and surprises mi with something worse. Hahaha... can u imagine the question - "excuse me, how do i get out of here?" WTF. The cafe doesn't even have a door and the exit from the main building is just beside the cafe... it can be seen frm where that woman stood. /omg. And I thought it was bad when I was wrking @ PS and ppl asked mi how to get outta the building -.-" Dumbness.

Anyway met a real nice guy yesterday. I got lost at AMK ave 5 - yesh, I got lost again. Had to ask this driver how to get to Hougang and after describing to mi the route... I still failed to comprehend. In the end, he led mi all the way there, claiming that itz not a problem for him, that itz just a small u-turn. Nooooooo it was pretty far frm YCK mrt manx. ppl like this hardly exist. He has my thanks. Heh, he was actually the 3nd person who helped mi yesterday. The 1st one was when I jammed brakes at the traffic light and my bike fell over. A pedestrain actually came over and helped mi push it to the side of the road, up the pavement. At the pavement, this Malay guy, Kips rider, came to check out the dmg done (thankfully it wasn't serious) and helped mi restart the bike. Also he stayed there till everything was in order. Gosh... I was embarassed. But really thankful. Guess what? I bumped into the guy's friend (his pillion) earlier at the food court across mi house. lolx. He smiled at mi. Hahahaha he still does remember mi afterall :P I wonder if he lives just nearby.

Hm... actually intended to watch episode 11 of Kanon, but I suppose the Shazz patch is done now. Back to levelling.

Shady self-destructed @ 03:01

Monday, August 23, 2004

Hymn of the Wanderer

Pandora's box is opened all Hope is gone
Just listen to me as I sing this song...

My wings are clipped I can no longer fly
Never again will I soar across the sky
My soul is bound I can no longer feel
Never again will I know pure happiness
My will is caged I can no longer fight
Never again will I stand without fear
My eyes are clouded I can no longer see
Never again will I know what is true

The End is near now lie down and rest
Just listen to me as I finish this song...

My ears are shut I can no longer hear
Never again will I realise who you are
My body is broken I can no longer move
Never again will I escape from these chains
My mind is tainted I can no longer think
Never again will I act without hate
My heart is shattered I can no longer feel
Never again will I understand true Love

Hush now don't weep all is said and done
Just listen to me and remember this song

Shady self-destructed @ 07:35

My PC is lagging, quite badly rite now. I wonder if it hath picked up a bug. I really hope not since itz only not too long ago that I reformatted. If only ppl can stop coming out with new threats, causing major inconvienience to others. Alot of troubles in the world are man-made. If only humans can stop doing things to each other. If only everyone can just get along, devoid of the seven deadly sins. If only the world can be at peace. But no. The hearts of humans are obscured. Clouded by hatrad, jealousy, selfishness. The planet is dying. Dying at the hands of those it sustains. The greatest threat of all - mankind. Biting the hand that feeds, destroying that which gave them life in the first place. Can't anyone see that? Why do ppl just not understand? Armageddon is a necessity, for the planet to survive. Mankind must be erradicated in order for the world, and all other life forms on it, to stay alive. Humans are such a disgusting race. They just do not belong. To hell with evolution. The End must come. And I will gladly depart with the rest. All I pray is, not to end up in the same place afterlife. I just wish to lapse into oblivion. And maybe then... I will know no more... I will finally rest.

Perhaps if everyone just opened up their hearts... there will still be Hope.

Shady self-destructed @ 07:17

Yeah, I did manage to see jemmie perform. Just 2 songs this time though - Cats In A Cradle & Wonderwall. Go daddy!!~! Phew, the band at Wisma really rawks. The keyboardist is awesome I must say. He can play along to almost anything... and u should just take a look at how his fingers move on the keys. Jeez. If only I have that much talent!!~! haha obviously talent ain't everything. Itz alot of hard work that brought him to where he is today... like any other musician out there. After the short gig, we went off for dinner @ Lao Pa Sat & then went to slack at the Merlion area. I fell asleep on pero's lap while jem was strumming & plucking away. I think I knocked out for quite a while. Poor pero... lolx. Anyway the initial plan was to go down support jem, dinner then home to RO the night away. But I ended up getting home real late (after I woke up, it was pero's turn to sleep & he was looking so adorable that I couldn't bear to wake him up to leave... haha) that now I guess everyone else is asleep. No training for my swordie tonite. In fact I think, there'll be no training for any of my characters today. Think I should have an "early night" too. After watching episode 20, that is /gg

Slacking ard felt good. Especially with music in the background. Just looking @ the night sky, the silhouettes of buildings, kinda reminds mi that the world is not too bad after all. There is still beauty in man-made objects. Itz just a wonderful picture of calm. The waves hitting gently against the stone steps & "jetty", the silence of the night & the cool breeze. Itz times like this that make mi glad, somewhat, that I'm still alive. And that I'm thankful for the senses I've been born with. To be able to take in all these sights & sounds. *shrugx* Am I losing myself once again? You know, somehow, I still wish that someday all the bitterness & hate that I have within will disappear... then perhaps I'll finally know what it means to live.

Shady self-destructed @ 06:40

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Just when I was going to bed, pero woke and yep, I went for a swim. Hmm not much of a swim actually, just alot of lazing ard in the water, soaking up the sun. I need some real exercise soon manx. Gah. Got weird tan marks coz I was wearing my swimsuit. Need to find a chance go down Sentosa for a real solid tan manX. Those tan marks are... disgusting. Especially the one that interferes with my dragon on tha shoulder blade. That swimsuit line literally splits the dragon into 2 -.-" Got back ard 4+ and "dropped dead" on the mattress manx. Feeling super seh rite now. I am leaving now. Hope to get down in time to see jem perform.

Shady self-destructed @ 21:21

Sudden urge to do a few online tests due to boredom... both are the same - Angel Sanctuary related and seems like I end up with 2 different characters.

Which Angel Sanctuary character are you? by Lyn

Congratulations! You are Katou!

Which character from Angel Sanctuary are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*sigh* I am still waiting for pero to wake up... fuck it. I am going to bed.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:52

Itz been a long time since I cried... this much. You won't understand until you've watched Ragnarok episode 19. The heartache of one who mistakens a friend for an enemy and takes her life... only to realise too late, much too late. The memories of the past that reside in one who apparently forgets everything else under the control of another. When Maya was slashing away at Alice, whom she did not recognise, tears just filled my eyes. As Alice lay defeated, on the brink of death, she heard the song that they used to sing together. With her last breath she crawled up the walls, to Maya who was waiting for her. She died with a smile on her face. She didn't retaliate at all during the whole battle. I wonder if she knew. yesh, itz merely an anime. But somehow it broke my heart so. The tears that have been bottled up inside me just flowed down... even till now. I am trying to stop it but I can't. Sometimes I wonder why I cry. Does it mean that I am still human after everything I've done? Why do I cry? What am I crying for? For whom I am shedding these tears? Is it for myself... and all the regrets I have? For the things I've done, for those that I didn't do? For all the sorrow in the world? Fuck it. I am no maytr. I am no saint. This is what I know. But why doth it hurt so much?

I have yet to sleep the entire nite. Soon I will give in, I know. I'm just waiting. Waiting for pero to call me I suppose. I did ask him to go for a swim today. I wonder if he'll wake up in time and whether he still feels like going since he had a late night. He was depressed last nite. The reason? He didn't tell me. But Exie did say it was something about him wanting a "soulmate". I wonder if Exie was the cause of it. Coz apparently she told him something between a guy and herself. A guy she's interested in, if I ain't wrong. Does she fucking know that pero likes her? But well, I guess it ain't her fault. The innocent can't be wrong, can they? /me shrugx. I suppose, if he doesn't call soon enough, I'm gonna just drift off to sleep. I need the exercise and the tan though... haiZzz... well if he doesn't go with me today, guess I'll just have to go on my own during the weekdays - that is if I wake up early enough. I shall depart. One last cig b4 I go.

Shady self-destructed @ 10:13

Friday, August 20, 2004

gahhhh how i wish i could slap Yuufa. What good is an acolyte who doesn't heal when needed to?

Shady self-destructed @ 09:05

I've changed my mind. One more episode I shall watch. Roan just returned as a Crusader. This is getting too interesting to miss. Too bad I've downloaded till only epi 15 rite now. Gosh... this really tempts mi to just continue playing RO and forgo my sleep.

Shady self-destructed @ 08:58

Hate shall make your heart victorious. Set your heart properly and you will attain strength.

A translated line from Ragnarok: the anime (epi 14). I wonder how much truth is there to that. Itz no doubt that strength can be obtained thru powerful emotions. The 2 most powerful emotions I can think about are Love... and Hate. 2 opposite sides of a coin, yet 2 very simillar emotions with a fine line drawn in between. If one is not careful, one may easily cross the line to the point of no return. Without love, there can be no hate. Itz when the person you love deeply, so intensely that you cannot bear the thought of he/she betraying you, turn his/her back on you. Thatz when hate will set it, after the initial heartbreak. Hate is essential to get over someone. *shrugx*

Where did that thought come out from, I have zlich idea. Anyway... I've decided to forget about Fairyland for the time being & concentrate on my Shazz RO characters instead. Created a mage earlier and a new swordie. lolx, I just can't resist swordies. Every single server I play... I have a swordie that looks exactly the same - just named differently. This is the 1st time I'm using a mage though. Screwed up my skills allocation at the start and paid for a skills reset. Thankfully Shazz gives u tons of starting zeny - 300k. And there are loads of headgear avaliable for purchase. Heh... managed to get Rad & blur to get into the game as well. Neat!!~! And Triple Moons hath made itz revival on shazz, thanx to Zid & Peanut. I'll ask Zid to add me into the guild once I see him online. Took some screenies with him earlier, using my thief... have yet to create my mage den. *grinx* Lucky Zid, he gets to be a GM. Ah well... my PC rebooted twice today while playing RO. Think I shall not play too much. Pgymy is supposed to get a Deviruichi, I wonder if he's gotten it by now. Ah well... shall just finish up watching this current episode, level my thief up a little more (if the server is working) and go to bed.

Once again, itz day.

Shady self-destructed @ 08:53

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Does feel a little uncomfortable with ppl reading my blog though.. especially they are the same ppl I've blogged about b4. lolx. Read thru what I've typed and I guess there ain't much negative stuff said ehx? Is there? Hahaha... anyway yeah, went riding again earlier and gahhhh this time my rpm meter seems to have broken down -.-" Which means... I gotta go down to tha bike shop again tml... which means... I've gotta get up slightly earlier than usual. That sux. Got an appointment to collect the darn graduation gown tml. Frankly, I don't feel like going for tha convocation ceremony. I just know itz gonna be a BORE, with speeches and all that... not to mention, alot of waiting. I didn't even turn up for my NP graduation *shrugx* But my parents kinda want it, so I guess I don't have much of a choice. Itz either I go and make them smile, or I don't go and disappoint them. Think I should be filial for once huh? Aftewhich, I should be meeting Mojojojo for dinner and nite... it'll be Alien vs Predator - that is IF the tix are avaliable by then!!~! Itz scary how movies like those sell out super fast, even if itz for a midnite session. *mumbles*

Shady self-destructed @ 03:31

G-R-E-A-T... now I have additional ppl reading my blog. lolx.

Shady self-destructed @ 03:25

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

/me looks at the time. Daylight is seeping in thru my window. The blinds are up though, to let in the cool night, now morning, air. Once again, I have yet to slumber. I just don't feel sleepy enough. I must force myself to wake up earlier later... so that I can be tired enough at nite to forward my journey into the land of Dreams. *shrugx* As usual, I ramble too much when I'm sleepy. Itz just that, I have this strong urge to blog. Especially after reading The Thousand Orcs: Book I of the Hunter Blades Trilogy by R.A. Salvatore. Surprise surprise, I do read. Not as much as I used to, but I still enjoy an occasional fantasy novel. I'll be picking up book II when I return to Suntec to sign my release form. I need that damned pay or else I'll be eating grass & drinking sky water. Anyway, the novel was a captivating one. It tells of yet another heroic tale of drow elf Drizzt Do'Urden and his friends. The friendship is that which I envy. Breunor Battlehammer, Regis Rumblebelly, Cattie-brie, Wulfgar & Drizzt. They've fought many battles together, stuck beside each other in times of need... and not to mention, they have the utmost trust in each other and are willing to give their lives for each other. Many times, I wish to live in a world not different to theirs. So that I may have companions of my own. Companions for the road, that are smillar to those Drizzt has by his side, simillar to the party in Dragonlance. Such friendships are hard to come by and as I take a look around myself, I wonder how many will be with me till the end.

I am always envious of friendship. That I admit. I am jealous when I see ppl having best friends, buddies & a "good ol' gang" to hang out with. I, on the other hand, seem to "wander" around different groups of friends. I hang out with different ppl now and then. I don't seem to have a certain bunch of buddies who will be with me always. Yesh, I do have a couple of ppl I came to regard as good friends - Loony daddy, bunnie, jemmie, pero... etc. *sigh* Am I asking too much of the ppl around me? Does it mean that, just coz we are friends, we gotta hang out all the time and we gotta do everything together? I've said this before, but I'll repeat it again. I do appreciate everyone around me. Everyone who has helped me before in the past. But why is it, at the end of the day, I feel so alone? I don't have a best friend. I wish I had. Everyone seems to have one, I don't. But I should be thankful that I manage to move around in groups of ppl, even though I don't stay for long? Memories are all that is left eventually. I hate it when things end. When Time plays a cruel hand and when personal responsibilities tear friendships apart. Perhaps what I've heard b4 is true - that a friend will always be a friend no matter how far they are apart... and that they're never really gone, that they'll be close to your heart (I think I got this from pokemon if I didn't remember wrong).

Like a wandering ranger that has no certain home, but makes a home everywhere he goes. Perhaps, I am just feeling homesick. I am feeling as if I need to find someplace to settle down. Someplace to call my home. I never stopped wishing for someone to be there for me after a long hard day. Someone whom I love and who loves me in return...

I wanna heal, I wanna feel
What I felt was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till its gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

- Linkin Park "Somewhere I belong"

Shady self-destructed @ 07:51

Went into JB earlier... as a pillion rider. lolx. Looking @ the roads there and at the speed they went, I doubt I'll dare bring my own bike in. Dun even know whether I can catch up with them or not manx. At that speed my helmet was like getting blown off by the wind. lolx. It would have fallen off if I didn't pull the visor down *grinx* yesh yesh... tml I'm finally going down to the bike shop, get my log card & perhaps a new helmet too. Nothing too expensivo but itz gotta fit. The current Zeus one I'm using is pretty uncomfortable as itz too big for mi. Keeps shifting whenever i need to check a blind spot or whenever I go too fast. Perhaps I'll ask my cous to stabilize my bike for mi as well. Darn, I failed to flipped the papers again today. I've been slacking for like 3 weeks now. Am thinking of looking for roadshows to do while I slowly find a new job. At least there's some income. Can't possibly stretch out my hands for $$ to feed my baby, can I?

Shady self-destructed @ 04:48

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Phew... I just rode the furthest I ever did today. My baby did really well =) it was funny though. teehee, was supposed to meet Zen n his friends @ serangoon area but according to them I took tha wrong exit, and ended up in Upper Paya Lebar rd. Had to get off my bike, give them a call and wait for them to come look for mi. Afterwhich they led me down to Jln Kayu. Had a drink, a prata and itz off to Seletar camp area. Ended up at this building with a huge no. 6 painted on tha walls. To be frank, that place looked freaky but somehow I wasn't afraid tonite. *shrugx* I just couldn't detect anything I guess... or perhaps itz coz my faith was stronger this time, even though it is the lunar 7th mth. On the way in, I let Ray take my baby while Zen took mi pillion. He asked if I saw anything suddenly but hmx... I didn't. What was I supposed to see? I didn't even feel spooked like I normally do so I guess there was nothing around really. Ah well, after it all, we went home. Heh, as I didn't know the route, his friend - blur - had to send mi back all tha way till my hse downstairs. Gosh I did feel bad, but it was great to have company. Hm... and he's pretty cute. Young, but cute =P Just hope that they won't find mi a hinderance. Heh heh. HmX... Zen mentioned that they'll be going down to JB tml. Wonder if I'll be following them or if he will get another pillion. Ah well... wait and see. Tml I must call up to fix an appointment for my grad gown manx. Itz the last day liaox ~ I'd betta not be too lazy.

Shady self-destructed @ 03:49

Monday, August 16, 2004

Yet again, half a day hath drifted past me while I slumber. Time waits for no one. It passes even more quickly when u stay home doing nothing. The sun's good today. I can see it thru the window. I should have gone swimming, hath I woken up earlier. Then again, it's still not too late now but I'm feel goddamned lazy. yeah I don't even have the f**king willpower to go down to the swimming pool. Wth is wrong with me? The sun looks better every moment. I wonder, if I get ready to go down now... I'll reach there say 4:30pm. Will there still be sun? Well... anyway I dunno what the fuck is wrong with my PC. My Fairyland client just refuses to run proper. It keeps crashing, shutting down... etc. I should try to reboot.

Shady self-destructed @ 15:46

As expected, I've been slacking off in everything I'm supposed to be doing. Well... I finally went t the temple to offer joss sticks. Yesh, I admit that I did it w/o faith and that I have no idea who I'm praying to except that they're Taoist dieties. I don't even know if they understand English (for I did all my mumblings in that language) but I hope that if they are true, they'll understand the language of my heart & soul. I gave my thanx for finally acquiring that I have coveted for a long time, I prayed for personal safety, the happiness of my family & pero's well-being (well, he asked mi to do so). I hope the dieties understand. Itz been a very long time since I went down to that particular temple - I used to follow my dad there when I was a kid - and nothing much has changed. The church is next though. At least I kept my promise to visit the place of my parents' faith after I get my 2B. I don't deny that sometimes I do wish that I've a faith of my own. A pillar of support to lean uponst when things go wrong. I've always viewed religion as a lifeline, desperately grabbed at by ppl in desperate hours.... as additional hope when ppl don't trust themselves totally... something to strengthen the will. Am I that weak that I'm in need of one? Isn't it sufficient just to trust in Fate?

I'll be riding out again tml. Down to my cousin's bike shop to pay up the remaining 1.8k and to get my bike looked at. Good luck to me in the heavy afternoon traffic under the noon sun. I might have to pump petrol myself for the 1st time in my life tml. I hope nothing screws up. Gahhh why am I having this sense of doubt? I should be heading down to Sy's place after, to watch a few VCDs, since both of us don't have much to do tml. I don't understand why I am so insecure when it comes to my baby. I know I can handle him well enough, and I know that I can ride well. Itz just that, I don't trust the performance of my bike... especially what happened the last time I rode him out. Then again, is it myself that I don't trust? That I don't believe I can handle all that comes between the 2 of us? The lack of self-confidence, the lack of faith. Perhaps itz this lack that causes things to happen in some self-fulfiling prophecy. I just wish that nothing like this will take place ever again coz itz due to luck that nothing negative happend to mi. I love riding. This is what I've ever wanted. This is the dream I'll live.

Perhaps I should learn to trust my instincts more. I had this inkling feeling that pero ain't gonna meet mi today for a swim, like he promised he would. But yet I believed him and went home instead of staying over at bunnie's place last nite. Darn. I should have stayed over. I am so in need of exercise. I just hope that I have the determination to carry things out. I always allow laziness to get the betta of me. My will is as feeble, or even worse, then my flesh. I give in to temptation too easily (I bought a pack of cigs today), I give up too easily & I don't put in 100% to strive for what I want. This is my downfall. I know it, but why ain't I changing things? I keep hoping that things will happen the way I want them to happen... hm... perhaps I should try making it happen out of my own ability rather than wait? /me shrugx.

I just installed another private RO server client earlier - shazzRO. Triple Mooners have switched over so I guess I should to huh? Am too lazy to search for a new clan. I wonder if I should p2p Fairyland since I don't think I can handle 2 mmorpgs well enough. Time to force myself to do minimal exercises to burn however few calories it can. I am expanding.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:08

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Nothing much happened today, except that I went to watch soccer with pero n jem... then met bunnie & tuttle for The Village... afterwhich ended up at Kopitiam to trade pokemon. Kewl, I have new additions to my pokedex =) yeah guess itz time I should complete the game. There are still a couple of pokemon that I've yet to catch for myself. After evolving my swablu, I wouldn't spend time evolving or catching anymore till I've completed it. Of coz I'll be catching on the way lahx, but intensive hunting and all... nxt time ba ~ I wonder when will I be unlazy to finish up .hack/infection. I've been saying this a long time and I've yet to get down to doing it. Darn. Seems like there's still loads of stuff for me to do. Finish reading the novel, read player's handbook to get myself ready for Nd's campaign, complete a couple of games, finish watching a few vcds and anime and most importantly, get a bloody job !!~! Ah well, will continue watching Ragnarok.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:58

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Note: Due to inverted sleeping hours, I consider a day to be past only after I've slept. Hence, even though, technically itz Sat rite now... I'm operating on the basis as if this is Friday as I have yet to pay a visit to Mr. Sandman >.<

Today hath been a trying day for mi & my baby. Was supposed to meet Jovan, Fred & her friends for a movie @ PS and I decided to ride down... to get more practice. Kazuki refused to start initially. I had to kick-start over and over again. Even when the engine starts, I open the throttle a little and it dies off again. It wasn't until the 5-6th time that I managed to get it started, that it remained started. I was about to set off when I realised that there was green liquid leaking out frm the bottom. After a check, realised that it was the coolant cap that got lose & coolant was leaking all over the place -.-" Nvm. I rode down to PS. The journey was a hard one. I guess Kazuki was still dreamy from being woken up. Had problems regulating the speed & the bike just doesn't seem to have enough power. The worst happened when I went up the slope 2 the carpark at PS. Engine died. Nopez, it didn't stall. It died. I was on 2nd gear when it happened. Didn't touch the clutch, didn't do anything. Thought he hath enuff power to carry both of us up. Apparently, or something went wrong, he didn't make it. Thankfully I was at the top of the slope when it happened, and that there are no cars behind. I had to get off, push him to the side and restarted the engine. As if that wasn't bad enough, there was a guy there watching it all take place with a questioning look on his face. Gah. I wonder what he must have been thinking. The journey home was uneventful though. My baby performed splendid. I just hope that I wouldn't have that many problems in the future. Am considering riding down to Serene Ctr later for Nd's game. I wonder if I should.

Anyway, I watched Catwoman. Halley Berry was ultimately sexy in that movie. All the moves, the posing, the purring... etc. pfffttttttttt she's one hot babe! I loved the fighting scenes, though I must say that the jumping-about and all was a little overdone. Not much of a plot the movie has though. Itz just basically an eye fest. Well, at least for this movie, it wasn't a typical happy-ever-after where prince charming saves the beautiful girl and they live happily ever after. This time, itz the gal who is the heroine. And there was no happy-ever-after. Way to go gal !!~! If only more movies were made this way instead of the stereotypical style.

Speaking of stereotypical style of movies, it takes place in anime as well. I just finished watching episode 5 of Ragnarok: The Anime (yeah, or I would have gone to sleep a long time ago). Itz always the girl who is the acolyte/healer. Itz always the guy who is the journeyman (assasin in this case) or swordsman. Like most other storylines, there will be a male main character, who is in love with the female main & spends all the time saving her butt from being kicked. The female main, does nothing but scream and occassionally heals the party members. In short, she is a typical damsel in distress & an ultimate airhead. And like most storylines, there'll be another female character who is powerful. However, almost all attention will be focussed on the female main (the bimbo). Does this reflect society? Women are getting ahead these dayz... but it seems like most men tend to stick to the typical docile female w/o much of a brain, who does his bidding, when it comes to choosing a mate. Females who break stereotypes & do "guy stuff" are generally frowned upon but ppl other than her friends... and they always seem to be left alone (as in, w/o her other half) at the end of the day. Such is the pathetic state of the world.

I must rest.

Shady self-destructed @ 07:45

Friday, August 13, 2004

The human body is weak. Absolutely fragile. I took out my contact lenses earlier and apparently managed to hurt my right eyeball. It hurts now, when I blink. I hope it'll be okay after a good "night's" rest. My eyebrow piercing. It had never stopped hurting. Seems like I'm unsuitable for it. Perhaps I should just take it out and let the wound heal. I wonder if itz worth the pain. It's obviously infected but there's nothing much I do about it except return to Tiong Bahur Plaza someday to get it looked at - probably nxt week. My right leg hurts. Checked and there were brusies at my calf & tigh area. I wonder if itz due to riding Kazuki. The kick-start is at my right side and itz pretty uncomfortable when I ride. Or perhaps I injured my leg unknowingly when I let him fall. *shrugx* Anyway thatz just pretty minor. Ah well... just felt like complaining.

Am watching Ragnarok the anime while putting my FL character to work, harvesting shell herb. *grinx* Itz interesting watching locations & monsters that are familliar in an anime. It just makes me all the more tempted to play aeRO. I should. After I finish working my FL's Kiandra and after I watch another episode. I'll just logon to play for another half hour or so. Yeah I need rest. So that the fragile shell that holds my soul will heal. Perhaps....

Shady self-destructed @ 05:24

I brought my baby home !!~!

lolx, yeah finally I've managed to ride an SP and finally I own one!!~! Kazuki's gonna be mine as long as possible I hope =) *grinx* It wasn't w/o a slight accident though. Dropped by suntec to return my uniform & meet pero for dinner. Was at the carpark. Turned off my engine, took off my helmet, went to use my handfone... and half-heartedly kicked at the sidestand. I overbalanced and kaboom, the bike fell onto the floor. A guy who was smoking nearby actually came over to help mi lift it up. Gah... was pretty embarassed. lolx, but heyx, at least I didn't fall while riding it. Actually I'm pretty afraid to handle the bike when itz stationary. It just seems too heavy & I backpedalling is hell coz I can barely reach the ground. Well... my dad saw it, said I should have taken a smaller bike instead. Heehee why did I predict that response? pero had a short ride with it around Suntec's carpark as well. Gee I should really bring my baby out more often. Zen did jio mi go rounding tonite but somehow I was too lazy to go, once that I've reached home. Riding with him is stressful manx. Wayyyyyy too stressful. Though itz nice to have an "escort" of some sort, itz annoying when he keeps asking mi where to go. Duh. I just got my baby today, how do u expect mi to know the roads around Singapore? He's the one who goes rounding so often, even b4 he got his bike - according to him. *shrugx* Doesn't matter. I'll get used to the roads somehow someday. /me keeps fingers crossed

pffftttttt... initially wanted to sign my release form today but it wasn't at Suntec!! Contacted fatman and he claims that it should be there, and that Colin might have taken it. Called Colin, he denied. And frankly, I don't see why Colin will be holding my release form now that he is no longer the supervisor for Suntec. He applied back to SR, now wrking at Novena. Gah. I wonder why in tha world he did that. /me shrugx. Anyway itz n.o.m.b. Saw Tony earlier as well and he promised that he'll get the form to me nxt week. Ah well, I'll see if he keeps that promise. Apparently Tony is now on the staff's side, trying to get rid of fatman. Heh... seems like things are getting interesting. Too bad I ain't working there any longer. Then again, itz great that I am no longer wrking there. I wouldn't wanna be stuck in an outlet full of girls. Oh darn, I just remembered that I've yet to flip the papers today. But am so goddmaned lazy rite now. Should I push it off to tomorrow and do "double" the work? Just feel like going to take a bath after blogging and watch a few Ragnarok episodes. HmZzz... or should I finish up Kanon 1st? Ah well... will just follow my heart this time since there's nothing much to lose =)

Had pizza for dinner earlier. yum yum. Couldn't finish the 3 slices though. lolx. My appetite sure is decreasing, as compared to how it was in the past. Ah well... itz the lack of exercise. I did manage to force myself to do a few situps last nite but I'll pass tonite. Logged into Friendster earlier and boy was I glad to receive a reply frm Alex. yeah, it does seem that I still have that crush on him. /me shrugx. he has problems with his love life so I guess there's no space for me. As expected. lolx. Whatever manx... whatever. I've got my baby now and I don't really care!!~! Am meeting Jovan, Fred & her gf tml for a movie... I wonder if I should ride down.

AwriteX... thatz it. Am gone. I hope tml will be a good day too.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:48

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Once again I'm keeping late nights, or rather, early mornings. I've left the PC on for around 18hr now. I just hope it doesn't suffer from a meltdown or something =.= I would have turned it off a long time ago, itz just that... everytime b4 I do, someone sends mi a msg on FL and I end up chatting with them. Earlier, it was Fall3nAng3l, she invited me along for a training session & I went along coz I needed the exp too. I levelled. Then I logged off my elf, logged on my dwarf and when I was about to turn off the PC and head to dreamland, essedess dropped me a message. Needles to say, I stayed on to chat with him. He seems like a pretty nice guy, though slightly perverted - with his obession with hentai & lamia. *shrugx* Doesn't matter anyway. Itz always great to have someone to talk to while gaming. Gives u an additional reason to stay on with the game after p2p. My aeRO thief is levelling at a wonderful rate. It was lvl 50 when I logged off... muahahahaha... but itz just a wee bit too easy to play w/o the additional quests. Seems like there's nothing left to do in the game but level up, fight bosses and level up somemore. Ah well... itz free!!~! Ookie, time to logoff. Am on a download spree but I can always continue tml I guess.

Shady self-destructed @ 05:59

I am pissed off. Suddenly ultimately pissed & frustrated. Initially I was kinda excited bring Kazuki home tml but den I realised... where the fuck am I supposed to park? Downstairs my block requires either a season ticket or coupon. Where the hell am I supposed to get those? Furthermore, there are loads about maintaining a bike that I know not about. Who am I gonna turn to when I need help in those areas? My ex-colleagues? Nahhh they only come to me when they need something. Even so, I don't think they are free enuff to tell mi everything I need to know. I asked mi dad about getting the parking coupon, he just told me Sims Drive... gahhh the fucking place is so huge and being a new rider, u think I gonna be able to find my own way down? Itz like... thanx alot dad !!~! Thanx for being such a great help. I foresee loads of trouble ahead. What did I get myself into manx? *sigh* But at least I'll have Kazuki with me, no matter what. He's what I always wanted & this ain't gonna stop me. If I get lost along Singapore roads, so be it. I'll spend hours rounding then. I am still fed up. Aaargghhhh I hate it when such rage boils inside me. It normally happens when things don't go my way. How do I get rid of it, I have no f**king idea and it sux coz I don't have the mood to do anything else.

I've been home the entire day. I haven't smoked a single puff & thatz contributing to my foul mood. Zen was supposed to pillion mi down to JB tonite. Till now, he hasn't contacted me so I supposed he would have had other plans of his own. He just betta not dua mi tomorrow when I go down to collect Kazuki. Darn... I should have went to mambo.

Shady self-destructed @ 00:57

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Kazuki, my very own NSR150SP (name suggested by p-chan). *grinx* yeah I popped over to my cousin's bike shop earlier today and laid my eyes on this black bike that I nvr forgotten. I sat on it. Shifted around a little. Granted that there'll be difficult dayz ahead. The bike is too big for me, frankly. The CBR150 is slightly lighter and slimmer, but I don't like the look of her. Anyway I just don't believe that I won't be able to control him. I just hope that I won't get into too serious trouble or hurt him too badly. The faring is pretty fragile - even more so than I expected, so I'd betta not drop the bike or anything. Tianci is gonna adjust the seat for me... cut into it so it'll be slightly lower. The difference wouldn't be much but at my height, every centimetre counts manx. I nvr stopped cursing myself b4, why didn't I just grow taller? I don't ask for much. Just 5 cm taller will be splendid. At least I'll be able to ride a sports bike slightly more comfortably - and not to mention, it'll be safer for me. Well... I dunno how much longer I'll live if I continue with this lifestyle. I just hope that, I wouldn't get into too deep shit. And I shall leave everything into the hands of Fate. At least my parents will still have my brother after I'm gone. /me shrugx. And at least I'll die doing something I've always wanted to. Ahem... I ain't cursing myself. I'm just thinking of the worst - u know my overactive mind /gg I'll be picking him up and bringing him home in a couple of dayz. I just hope that my parents won't get too worried when they see him. *grinx* Well, for a person as small as me, it should be pretty natural that I go for a larger "guy", despite the danger, ehz? lolx.

Received a fone call frm Darin earlier, he was just feeling unhappy that Sherry patched back with her ex-bf. Well... we chatted a little and he mentioned that he envy my positive attitude in life. I just didn't bother to correct him on how wrong he actually is. If he sees me in this kinda light and if he wants to be like this, if he thinks this will make him happier, well, why should I claim otherwise? [heyz da ge, if you are reading this, dun question him about it if he doesn't tell u hor] Anyway, I may see bo chup most of the time - and I normally try not to let things get me down, by perpetual procrastination. But ppl who really know me will claim that I'm the exact opposite of what he thinks. I'm a pessimist. I see things on the downside most of tha time & I believe that the world is against me. However, to be frank, I think at times, Fate isn't too bad to me afterall. Fate allowed me to have Kazuki in my life & Fate gave mi alot of other stuff - like I've mentioned b4 in my previous blog entries. Granted that there are many things of which I am disatisfied. And there are many things of others that I envy... but *sigh* I guess there's nothing perfect afterall. I did my 1st tarot reading earlier. On myself. The cards seem pretty accurate though I believe that there're many other hidden meanings that I've yet to uncover. Well I'm just a noob afterall. I hope I'll have the determination to go surf sites, read books & discover more about the tarot. True that I bought the cards of the artwork, but it doth seem interesting to be able to read them =)

As expected, I didn't flip thru' tha papers at all today. I was just too occupied I guess. After making an acquaintance with Kazuki, I went home. jem came over to help mi reformat my PC & reinstal other stuff. The PC works splendidly now. Great work daddy!!~! *grinx* I just hope that my PC is gonna stay this way for a darn long period of time. Furthermore, I managed to get into aeRO. With help from Ku1a, and an amazing exp gain rate, my thief is now at lvl 39. I might just push it to 40 later on, before I sleep. I ain't playing much of FL with piggy nowadayz - he's always training with Fall3nAng3l or his gf. Anyhow, I did tell my guild members (Slackers) that I will continue with p2p so I'll prolly just stay for another mth and see how things go. If itz bad... I'll just play on aeRO. Heh itz pretty boring on aeRO at times though. There are just so few monsters and it just seems too easy to play. Should I return to iRO? Ah well... whatever, I'd betta start playing a little on my PS2 and complete .hack/infection manx. That took more than a year alredi and there are many other RPGs waiting for me. Oh yeah, this weekend I gonna reinstal The Sims. More games !!~!

I must flip thru' the papers tml.

Shady self-destructed @ 02:21

-=[ From my Heart ]=-

I fell in love the minute I laid my gaze upon you
You were just standing there alone amongst the crowd
Quiet & brooding, sleek & slender... oh so beautiful
You caught my eye the minute I walked thru the door
You captured my attention, my soul, my very being
I was mesmerized instantly
I walked around, checked out the others
But you never really left my mind
My thoughts kept drifing back to you
I finally decided to simply make you mine

And make you mine, I did

No doubt that the future will be a rocky one
Most people say that we aren't suitable for each other
They told me I should have chosen another
Granted that at times my affections may waver
But I believe I would hold you forever
I just hope that you'll never let me down
And that we'll face all in our path together
There is no predicting the end of the road
I have no idea where this journey will bring us
All I know when is sun finally sets in the sky

I want you right beside me...
Where you belong

Tuesday, August 10, 2004. 10:25pm.
Dedicated to Kazuki

Shady self-destructed @ 02:01

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

My days hath turned into nights... my dawn hath turned into dusk... and my dates fused together.

The nightcrawler in me seems to be returning. At an alarming rate. Initially I thought, that it would take quite sometime to revert back to this lifestyle... since I started wrk @ SR, my bedtime is around 3-4am... late, considering that I get only around 5-6hrs of sleep per day, depending on the time my shift starts. Before that, I used to sleep in the morning, wake up in the late afternoon or evening. Normally, according to what most ppl say, a person's biological clock takes quite sometime to set. However, it seems like, once I quit my job, I've no problems staying up till early morning... sleeping around 8-9am like how I used to do in the past. Granted that I do feel a little tired, especially my eyes, but I can go on for a few more hrs. Thatz the scary part. I wonder how am I gonna adapt if I get a 9-5 job. Hopefully I'll be able to find one that is more suited to my lifestyle. Something that requires me to work at nite. Wishful thinking huh? I'll consider myself lucky to be able to land a sufficient-paying job. Hopefully one that I wouldn't hate too much. *shrugx* I have yet to start hunting. Yesh, I'm procrastinating. I'd betta force myself to at least look thru' tha papers & send some resumes later tonite... after everything else is done, and before I logon to game.

I levelled up earlier :D

Managed to catch a movie just now - The Whore - @ Lido with Darin, Sherry & her friend (gah, I didn't manage to get her name... or rather, I don't remember). Itz a sorta documentary/film about, yeah, prostitutes. How they got into the industry, why they got into the industry and their plans for the future. Not surprisingly, most of them wish to lead a normal life, start a family have children.. etc. However, there's this slut who aspires to be the Queen of Whores. My exact thought while watching her interview - what the fuck. And there's this Japanese whore who thinks that she's very cute. *chokes* I can't believe that women like this exist. Women who actually sell their bodies to men who simply want to fulfil their perverted fantasies. Yet they view themselves as not doing something shameful, but as professionals who do their job well. The movie covers different kinds of whores - the kind who works on the street, the kind who works in a club and the luxury prostitutes. Oh yeah, there are also porn actresses. Also included are interviews with men who frequent whores, why they do it and what they enjoy. I have no idea if the ppl in the film are actors re-enacting the actual interviews or they are the real ppl themselves... but the guys deserve a slap on their faces. They are happily married and yet they go to whores, seeking satisfaction that their wives can't give. Fuck it manx, I believe if u really respect ur woman, u wouldn't be seeking pleasure elsewhere. Is sexual pleasure more important than love & respect? It really just reinforces my thought that men are all jerks... mere beasts who simply think with their penises (hence, not very smart). HmZzz... I'm surprised by the amount of nudity in the film though. Seems like Singapore is getting slacker in terms of censorship. Good.

Anyway, Sunday was a good day. Went for a swim & a tan (though a failure) with pero in the noon and in the evening/early night, popped over to the nude cafe to watch jem perform on stage. jem is one lucky dude manx... he keep getting breaks like this. According to him, he was just walking past the pub one day with his guitar & the lead guitarist just called him on stage to play and invited him back to play somemore. I just envy him. His luck just seems unbelievable. He has a good job at MOM & now this. Phew !!~! He does spend alot of time & effort on guitar playing though. I wonder if I ever have that much determination. Anyway... afterwhich, mi, pero & Noods watched Arsenal defeat Man Utd 3-1 for the Charity Shield (boo!!!!). Brought back memories of the good ol' days before Noods & p-chan got enlisted. When we would just watch EPL matches down at Mike's. Den it was supper/dinner and pool at Poolitix (where else?). Bumped into Melissa and Meishan there. Gosh, Mel has changed quite a bit. HmZzz... I wonder if pero hath gotten over her yet. He didn't speak to her much frm what I remember. She is one gal that got him really miserable... I hope he's moved on. After everything, the 3 of them came over to bunk @ my place and it was till late afternoon that we woke. Bummed around for a bit, went down to Toa Payoh to look at comics, dinner at Mos Burger and den pero had to leave. Darin came down to pick me up, den we went down to pick Sherry & her friend. Initial plan was to watch the firewrks (gah) but ended up watching the movie at Lido instead. At nite, after I got home... I met up with Zen for a drink downstairs my block. Got a short ride on his Aprilla. He's supposed to come pick mi up later to go down Queensway to look at bikes. Heh... I must say he's pretty unstable on the bike - well, new bike, new rider, don't really expect anything much. Good luck to me !!~!

I don't intend to purchase a bike on the spot. I just want to look around, keep a lookout for SP and perhaps make my decision sometime this week or the nxt. Not forgetting I gotta contact my cousin to see if he managed to get any SPs... and perhaps I will check out the local bike forum as well. Betta not hurry... look around & test my luck. Anyway I have yet to go to the temple & church like I promised that I would if I get my license that fateful day. I'll make a trip down before I actually ride on the road. *grinx* I just can't wait to ride !!~!

Shady self-destructed @ 07:58

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Phew... itz 6 in tha morning. Just got home frm supper after Dbl O around 30-45min ago. Installed both the kRO client & Sakray into my PC and patched both of them. Then came the tricky part... of patching aeRO. I did everything that was told, according to the website but I just can't find newexe.bat to run the game!!~! Gosh. Where in the world did I go wrong? There were supposed to be 3 different patches avaliable for download but I only managed to obtain 2. Gahhh!!! Nothing much I can do now except del off the entire darn RagnarokOnline folder and try to reinstal again later - when I wake up. On 2nd thoughts... I'm alredi running the setup thingy again. Hopefully I ain't installing anything wrong coz there are simply too much stuff in my download folder & I can't remember if I have the installer of the previous RO version I played. Anyway, I hope it works. Itz been so long since I ROed and I do miss tha game. Am gonna create a dancer this time. *grinx* deadpeanut is supposedly gonna create a bard to train with me, I'll take his word for that. Anyway thatz gonna be my sub-character. My main is still gonna be an elemental assasin. The 3rd one, an agi-based swordsman. lolx, yeah there are new 2nd classes but I still prefer to good ol' ones :D Damn I wanna play RO !!!!

Anyway, I signed up for this moviexlusive.com forum, some local based webbie for movie buffs in Singapore & did a few postings. Am tempted to join them for their 1st gathering but 1st, I gotta find company. They don't allow odd number ticket bookings so I have no choice but to ask someone to go with me. I hope Malao manages to find company for me. I have simply no idea who to jio along. Ah well... I might just sign up to be a movie columnist as well. *grinx* yeah it does seem that I have too much time on my hands huh? Betta busy than too free, I must say.

Oh yeah, Dbl O rawks !!~! Itz just a shame that R&B, Hip Hop came too late - near closing hours. Itz been a long time since I got onto the dance floor and I can predict that I'll wake up with aches all over tml morning. Got to know a few new ppl earlier. Kewl. Thanx bro !!~! Think I shall just work my Fairyland character a little longer and den retire for the nite/morning. Am supposed to meet pero tml for a swim. I hope the weather holds. I want a tan b4 I go get a tattoo nxt week. pffftttttt... at the rate I am spending my moolah, I'm gonna run outta resources soon. And I wouldn't wanna depend on my parents too much - mom's been buying lunch for me daily & am starting to feel pretty guilty. I need a fuckin' job. Soon.

Shady self-destructed @ 06:20

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Am downloading aeRO rite now. Hopefully it'll run w/o problems when am done with it. Been quite sometime since I played RO & I kinda miss the dayz. Heehee. Duhhh I feel like shooting myself in the foot. Logged onto mIRC despite knowing that there'll hardly be anyone there to talk with. pm-ed a few ppl w/o response. I just hate it. When ppl are away, can't they just set their nick to aFk or something... so others will actually know that they are away and not just too lazy to respond? So many channels, so many parkers, so few active ppl around. Itz just annoying. Perhaps itz just annoying coz my intention of logging on was to make plans for tml. If not, itz just gonna be days of endless decomposition @ home. Now gonna start some SMSing. *sigh* This is why I need to wrk. My social life is so pathetic that if I ain't wrk, I dun have much to do anyway. Darn... itz just unfair that most ppl have a bunch of friends, whom they've known for years, to hang out with and I don't -.-" aeRO betta work!!~!

Shady self-destructed @ 15:27

Suddenly thought of Jian while I was trying to squeeze my blackheads awhile ago. The thoughts were unpleasant ones. Not of missing him, not of what I used to felt... but of those vcds & $50 that he hath yet to return to me!!~! That bloody bastard. I hope he falls down tha stairs and dies... AFTER he returns my stuff. I don't see why he's keeping it for so long especially since I am willing to go down and meet him for it instead of him coming out to meet mi. Damn him. He's the worst person (after Storm) that I've met my entire life. 2 are sufficient. I hope I'll nvr meet anymore ppl like those ever again. May the axe of judgement fall hard, swift & painful.

I must quit smoking.

Shady self-destructed @ 07:38

Home is where I find myself once again.

Mixed feelings is what I have as usual. I am glad to finally be able to logon for some gaming... I've been thinking about Fairyland on and off while I'm at Genting. I'll probably reinstal The Sims real soon. Just suddenly got the "kick" to play it & I'll download aeRO tomorrow, b4 I go Dbl O. Yeah I'm pretty glad to be home. The familliar feel of the keyboard beneath my fingers, the clicking of the mouse, my chair... etc. Itz the everyday things that I tend to miss while I'm away. But I was reluctant to leave. Genting ain't exactly perfect but it was a place when I need not face reality. Over there, all my problems just seemed so unreal, so insignificant. The things I had to do, the things I want to do... they are all pushed to the back of my mind. Just sitting around at the hotel's Starbucks, doing nothing but smoking & chilling out. It was a wonderful feeling. Hours just passed. The weather was great. It was as if I was in an air-conditioned place all the time. Even during the noon when the sun came out. The sun was warm but the wind was cool. The theme park was awrite. Space Shot rawks !!~! It was some 10-storey like drop frm the top... phew... too bad the roller coasters were a disappointment though.

Throughout the whole trip, I kept thinking about Alex. When I came home, I checked Friendster to see if he did respond. He did. But I am running outta stuff to talk to him about. Why do I ever bother making this contact? Can't I just be satisfied with merely thinking of him? I did used to say - liking a person doesn't mean gotta be with that person. Perhaps thatz merely self-consolation, when I don't get the person I feel for. Then again, whatever. It'll probably not work out anyway... at the state I am in nowadayz. *shrugx*

I just felt lonely. When we returned to Singapore. Desmond had Abbey waiting for him... he misses her badly even during the trip, Colin... Colin has Joanne & Nicky waiting for me. Me? I return to my PC and my room. I can't exactly describe the feeling I had on the bus. Envy maybe. Slight depression? Lonliness? Words fail to flow once again. When I'm outside all I wanna do is blog... but when I get back on, somehow I can no longer put feelings to words. Itz simply too difficult to describe what I felt at that precise moment... coz that moment is now past, never to return. Gahhhh. Now that the trip is over. Dayz of boredom are here to stay. I wish I find a job soon. Will start looking on Monday. This is promise myself.

Shady self-destructed @ 03:12

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

My bag is packed. I'm just gonna go take a shower... and meet Colin + Des at Bugis. I won't be back till Thurs nite. I'm gonna miss Fairyland again. And this time, I'm gonna miss someone too. *sigh* Can't log into Friendster b4 I leave. The site's having their maintence. Ah well... I just hope to see a response frm him when I return den. Ahhhhhhh why is he invading my mind?! The more I think of him, the more I adore him & the more I wanna see him. (-.-)" This sux. ShaDy should go back to sleep and no longer emerge.

Shady self-destructed @ 18:42

This is just G-R-E-A-T. The perfect thing happened just a few minutes ago. I woke up. No, waking up ain't a bad thing... I fully intended to wake at this hour anyway. Lette me continue. I woke up, went to the loo & realised that I got my period. Today. Ain't Life simply wonderful? Having periods just when you are about to leave for a trip tonite. *nod nod* Shit happens manx. It ain't the end of the world, but itz sure gonna pose hell of an inconvienience coz if I ain't wrong, there is water involved at the theme park -.-" I'm gonna bring tampons along with sanitary pads. No way I gonna allow this unfortunate incident to prevent me from enjoying myself fully... though I'm kinda skeptical as to how much enjoyment I'll actually get coz the ppl I'll be going with will be kinda "stuck" in the casino. I don't exactly intend to gamble - perhaps a little - but not too much. Now all I hope is that Desmond will accompany me around if the rest doesn't want to. *shrugx* I swear that in future, I'll plan trips to go with friends with the same purpose. The only problem is getting to know such friends. You know I'm anti-social. I don't exactly have a wide group of friends... and those that are closer to me at the moment, ain't exactly interested in travelling. Well, thatz Fate I suppose. I just don't have friends who do the stuff that I do. When I get a bike, who am I gonna go riding with? I wanna watch movies, I find it difficult to find kakis sometimes. Clubbing - not everyone I knows like clubbing. Soccer, itz also difficult to find ppl to watch it with me, much less play. But heyz!!~! I'm not saying that I don't treasure my current group of friends, k? I do adore my current circle of friends... am just hoping to make some more new ones, thatz all. Well... off to clear my bank in Fairyland.

Shady self-destructed @ 12:29

Yesh, finally I managed to catch I, Robot late noon, with Jovan. I loved that movie. I didn't expect it to be that touching though. The movie made me wonder (like other movies frm the past), what if, someday... A.I. advances to the state of being able to evolve. When they interpret the laws set for them in their own way & they begin to start taking control of the planet. Will a Matrix-like universe emerge? Will human life forms start to abuse robotics as in A.I.? Ask yourself, how will u feel if one day, there is a robot who feels & thinks like a human. Someone like Data in Star Trek: TNG. Can you overwrite your prejudice of them being inferior and befriend them? Can you ever trust something created by another human? Getting emotionally attached to a robot is not unexpected as humans tend to be attached even to inanimate objects that has been around them for a certain period of time. Will anyone ever fall in love with artificial intelligence? Procreation? Inter-creation? Gosh... the future is definitely one of imagination. I wonder if I'll ever live long enough for the future to come. Not the immediate future, I mean, the long long future. When science has advanced to the state possible only in sci-fi movies/novels to date. When perhaps contact with alien lifeforms are made. When interstellar travel is avaliable to the common man. Food for thought huh?

It doth seem that I am starting to become incoherent lately. The lack of literature and the lack of "practice" seems to have made my writing style become slightly... retarded. I tend to ramble on w/o stating my point and it seems to be getting more difficult to think of a suitable word for my sentances. This is... bad. I hope itz just due to the lack of sleep & attention span (coz part of my mind is still in Fairyland, with my characters as I blog... and of coz, thinking of him). It's a horrifying thought that I might just be losing touch with one of my strengths - writing.

Spoke to Samuel earlier @ PS. Itz scary, how politics are getting outta hand in the company I've just left. Stuff he mentioned made me think though... why didn't I stay on and look for further opportunity at the admin level instead of just quitting. I frankly don't have an answer to that. I just shrugged the question off coz I have simply zlich idea as to what I wanna do in life rite now. Fuck it manx. It seems like I'm lost once again. No direction, no ambition, no drive watsoever. I know I have to look for a job once I return frm Genting. I dread that. I dread sending out resumes w/o responses, I dread going for interviews and I dread starting work in a whole new place altogether. Besides... I have no idea what I am looking for, what I wanna apply for, which industry I wanna step into. It might not be permanant, but somehow, I'm just afraid of making a wrong choice. I've been putting off decisions that have to be made... and frankly I'm just hoping to procrastinate even more. Humans are resistent to change. What makes anyone think that I am any different? I can't slack forever. That I know. But... *sigh*

Anyway, checked my Friendster when I came home frm ktv and guess what, Alex responded!!~! Heh, dropped him a note and asked if he has MSN. I hope he does. Den again, if I add him to my MSN list, what am I gonna talk to him about if he is online? /me shrugx. I just can't stop thinking of him. pfffttttttttttttttttttttt... the weak-willed ol' ShaDy is back again & seems to be here to stay for a significant period of time. glhf me -.-"

Shady self-destructed @ 06:23

Monday, August 02, 2004

Just got up for a little while... yes, I do intend to go back to sleep coz the weather is simply wonderful. Rainy, cool, overcast. The 1st thought on my mind, Fairyland. The 2nd thought, Him. *nod nod* The one I blogged about last nite. Haha I really seem to have a crush on him siahx. To think that I thought no one will capture my attention again. I kinda like this feeling. When someone is always on my mind. Though nothing will come outta this. Actually itz betta that nothing comes outta this. Coz in a relationship, there's bound to be arguements, and for my inability to trust a person rite now, a relationship wouldn't last. I'd rather not ruin the image of him I have in me. I rather continue liking him for sometime, till I like someone else. pffftttttt... am working 2 of my fairyland characters at the same time. It'll be real difficult to give the work slave up come p2p, especially if I manage to get high work lvls. - Zzz -

Shady self-destructed @ 09:14

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Well well... I'm Home!! *grinx* Got back for quite sometime now actually, much earlier than planned. Apparently there was some low tide/high tide thingy back at Mersing that we have to take an earlier ferry. At the port, itz just a slight wait for the minibus that got us all back to Singapore. HmX... I think I got back around 9+ if I didn't remember wrong. Heh. 1st thing I did, logon the PC. Afterwhich den I unpacked, had dinner and now itz gaming. Intention was to power level but I joined a clan instead. With my 3rd character - SakuyaKagami. So now am just working on my cooking skill a little, blog a little and den it'll be back to training Kiandra. I do kinda miss gaming at Tioman. The room was pretty pathetic. They don't even have a water heater!!~! But ah well, what do i really expect huh? Diving was fun. I'll be making a log about my trip on my homepage so I guess I will not bother to elaborate here. Yeah I'll have much time to continue working on my homepage once again, now that I am unempolyed.

It doth feel a little awkward though, when ppl are talking about their jobs and stuff. /me shrugx. As expected, I didn't really click with the rest of the ppl in tha group. The girls were all so different. They are girls if u get what I mean. Talking about guys, shopping, brands... etc. I couldn't really fit in. As for the guys, I don't know them, and they've got their own clique. So there. But well, at least I wasn't totally ignored. I did talk around for a little. Couldn't exactly find common topic with them. HmZzz... I got kinda interested in this particular guy - Alex. We didn't exactly talk much but I just found him cute in a way, I guess. Heh, I had the luck to sit beside him on the speedboat frm Mersing to Tioman and I did "borrow" his shoulder for a nap. *grinx* He let me. (I'm such a bloody flirt huh?) Well, but on the overall he didn't exactly show particular interest in me, and I don't even know if he's attached, so no worries that anything's gonna happen at this point of time. I would love to keep in contact with him though, but the closest I can get is search for him in Friendster thru' Karin. And see if he has either MSN or ICQ and see if we can talk a little more online. But ah well, such attention frm me doesn't last long, I'll prolly like another person sometime soon. Heh, in the meantime, I'll just let him take up all my thoughts =) Shucks, wanted to ask him for his number, but didn't have the guts :P

I'm kinda lazy to blog more. My head is still kinda "swollen" frm all that ferrying around. Got kinda seasick, gah! I'll prolly just game a little more and doze.

Shady self-destructed @ 23:09

.: ME :.

I am the Alpha, I am the Omega. I am a Monster without a name.

I don't know where I'm going, and you need not know where I've been. I don't know why I'm embarking on this journey and I don't know what exactly I'm searching for. I don't need guidance. I'll know it when I find it - I'll make something up if I don't. Perhaps then, I'll depart to the realms beyond.

Till then, sit back & enjoy the tales I bring to you from my reality.

For a more detailed description about yours truly, view my Friendster Page

Instead of links... A tracking/reminder list of sorts - for PS2 gaming. Motivation NOT to start a new game of b4 completing one of the same genre that hath alredi begun.
In Progress

Dark Cloud 2
Guitar Hero 1, 2 & 80s
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts II
Wild Arms 3

In Queue

Ar tonelico: Melody of Elemia
Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana
Atelier Iris II: The Azoth of Destiny
Atelier Iris III: Grand Phantasm
Dark Cloud
Devil May Cry 3: Dante's Awakening
Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
Final Fantasy VII - Dirge of Cereberus
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Grandia III
Harvest Moon - A Wonderful Life
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (8x)
Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude
Persona 3
Rogue Galaxy
Rule of Rose
Shadow Hearts: Covenant
Shadow Hearts: From The New World
Shining Force Neo
Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Soul Cradle [Jap]
Stella Deus: The Gate of Eternity
Suikoden IV
Suikoen V
Tales of the Abyss
Wild Arms Alter Code: F
Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria

To-Check-Out / To-Get List

Ar tonelico II [?]
Arc The Lad: End of Darkness
Arc The Lad: Twilight of the Spirits
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
Digimon World Data Squad
Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Dragon Quest V: Tenkuu no Hanayome
Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King
Drakengard
Drakengard 2
Dual Hearts
Elvandia Story [?]
Ephemeral Fantasia
Eternal Ring
Evergrace
Forever Kingdom
Full Metal Alchemist and the Broken Angel
Full Metal Alchemist 2: Curse of the Crimson Elixir
Full Metal Alchemist 3: Kami no Tsugu Shojo
Growlanser Generations
Growlanser: Heritage of War [?]
Growlanser IV: Precarious World [?]
Jade Cocoon 2
Magic Pengel: The Quest for Color
Magna Carta: Tears of Blood
Makai Kingdom: Chronicles of the Sacred Tome
MS Saga: A New Dawn
Musashi Samurai Legend
Odin Sphere
Okage: Shadow King
Orphen: Scion of Sorcery
Radiata Stories
RPG Maker 2 [?]
RPG Maker 3 [?]
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga
Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne
Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 [?]
Shining Force Exa
Shining Wind [?]
Shining Tears
Star Ocean: Till the End of Time
Steambot Chronicles
Summoner
Summoner 2
Tales of Destiny [?]
Tales of Destiny II [?]
Tales of Legendia
Tales of Rebirth [?]
Tales of Symphonia [?]
The Lord of The Rings, The Third Age
Tsugunai: Atonement
Unlimited Saga
Ys: The Ark of Napishtim
Wild Arms 5 [?]
Xenosaga Episode 1: Der Wille zer Macht
Xenosaga Episode 2: Jenseits von Gut und Bose
Xenosaga Episode 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra
.hack//G.U. Vol.1: Rebirth
.hack//G.U. Vol.2: Reminicise
.hack//G.U. Vol.3: Redemption
.hack//Infection Part 1
.hack//Mutation Part 2
.hack//Outbreak Part 3
.hack//Quarantine Part 4

Completed Games

Grandia II
Harvest Moon - Save the Homeland (1x)
Legend of Legia II
Shadow Hearts
Silent Hill 2
Suikoden III

Trash Bin

7 Sins
Urbz: Sims in The City
Grandia XTreme

Too Many Games... Too Little Time...

+ A r c h i v e s +

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10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008
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+ S e l f L i n k s +

Cross Stitch Tracker

+ C r e d i t s +

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